


Strong and Clear

by canongoddess



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-11-21 14:24:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 67,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11359308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canongoddess/pseuds/canongoddess
Summary: Evfra didn't send Jaal to find him a wife, but his best friend sometimes knows better than he.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Evfra needed a port romance like Reyes, so I took it upon myself to create one. Let me know if you enjoy it!

Evfra had let Jaal enter the alien vessel against his better judgement. The alien – who was called Ryder – had made an offer that the open angaran identified with and that was that. Evfra had learned the hard way to not trust alien presences. But he did admit that these humans looked much more squishy and delicate than the previous bone-faced kett. This was one reason that Efvra felt it would be no large task for a warrior of Jaal’s caliber to defeat the crew – although he would likely die in the process, but who was Efvra to talk the powerful open angara out of attempting peace.

Efvra had only been swayed by the plea in Jaal’s eyes and – to be honest – slightly intimidated by the wash of hope the bioelectric field that simply saturated him at the mention of the Moshae’s salvation.

“I know you can spare me.”

Jaal’s voice had rang with a hint of laughter, and Efvra gathered that Jaal was teasing him. Not that Efvra appreciated that. After grudgingly giving his assent, Evfra’s only comfort was hearing the threat ringing out across the room from Jaal, though he doubted that Jaal would need to kill the small female in her sleep.

Now, Efvra was alone in his office awaiting impatiently for Jaal’s report. A light dinged on his datapad, and he opened the message.

_________________________________

_Efvra,_

_This vessel is amazing. The humans have many things aboard. I had brought articles with me, but it seems that they will not be needed. Upon crew introductions, I feel that they trust me as little as I trust them – save for the Pathfinder. The woman seemed to bludgeon her comrades into offering the respect that she felt I deserved. Perhaps it must be earned on both sides. We are not going to Voeld directly. I am not very pleased with this, and I am anxious to see the Moshae once again. A human colony stationed on Eos will be used to refuel and resupply before our journey. I do hope we will make it to the Moshae in time._

_In the meantime, I have a good feeling about working with the crew. There are five types of aliens working peacefully aboard the ship. I will list them in terms of formidability._

_Drack – He is a krogan and fierce. I feel that going into combat with this one is much better than going against them._

_Vetra – A turian. I believe that she is one of the spiked aliens that have been reported on Havaarl. If they can stand stalwart against the wildlife of the home planet, I believe that they deserve our respect._

_Asari –I sometimes think the patterns on their skin resemble the anagara to a degree. It is the tenacity that makes them special. There are two on board the vessel – a doctor and a researcher. They exhibit vastly different personalities. I have heard that this has to do with their paternal parentage, but I have not inquired further at the moment._

_Humans - I do believe the humans are not the most intelligent, long-lived, or armored of the group, but they combine all the qualities exhibited in the other species to a slightly lesser degree._

_Kallo – A salarian and also the pilot. He makes astute observation and is usually found on the bridge. For this reason, I have had limited contact with him. Perhaps he eats away from his console._

_The Pathfinder has made efforts to inquire further about the angara. I am perplexed by her curiosity. It is unnerving to not feel her bioelectric field confirming her words, but I feel that she speaks true. She is the only one that I have spoken to at length. But I am not forgetting my promise._

_Stay strong and clear._

_Jaal_

______________________________________________________

Evfra scanned the attached photos. Apparently, the inside of the ship was a practical mix of lush and functional. He approved of this – grudgingly. He supposed that this practicality would make a fierce opponent. Covert photos and scans of the crew members were included. The warrior resembling a fiend seemed to spring solely from his armor. Efvra felt that this alien was the krogan mentioned in the letter – a formidable opponent indeed.  
He silently scanned the other humanoids until he stopped at a photo of the Pathfinder. This photo was obviously not taken covertly. The girl’s blue eyes danced as she posed with a friendly smile on her face. Her eyes crinkled making the scar on her left more visible. Jaal must have asked for the photo. He knew the humans appeared… squishy and fragile, but they had crossed galaxies and apparently – if the Pathfinder could be believed – terraformed a world with ancient technology. Jaal simply should not ask for photographs like an enamored schoolgirl. Evfra sighed.

He loved his friend dearly. He really was the closest friend he had – more from Jaal’s insistence than any invitation on Evfra’s part. Jaal wanted a peaceful world and seemed to see the starting point as slowly plucking the thorns from Evfra’s personality. But Efvra had become very adept at growing thorns, and Jaal’s persistent plucking had simply opened up a single bare spot where every so often the friendly angara could ply his commander with a touch of friendship, yet they were still close.

Efvra told himself that he held too many secrets to hold friends as well. Secrets about the Moshae’s capture were bound to come to light when this mission was completed. He was still unsure that Jaal would be in his corner after the conclusion. He could only hope.

He looked at the Pathfinder’s smile once again searching for any reason that he could possibly find to mistrust the alien, yet he could find none. Her eyes laughed, and the long string-like bits that fell from her head threatened to fall into him. He wondered what it felt like unconsciously running his hand over his head feeling the slick skin of his scalp with its scars and callouses caused from exposure to the elements as if he had never felt his head before.

“Sir?”

He jerked his hand down and slammed the datapad on the desk with a loud expensive sounding smack. As the ring dissipated along with his blush, he immediately resumed his signature frown.

“What?” He knew that he snapped, and the prickles of embarrassment were still lingering on his skin.

The warrior straightened to attention with a small blip of confusion that Efvra knew was from the usually quiet bioelectrics of the commander suddenly spiking fiercely.

“Sir, reports have come in from Voeld along with the promised transfer for those posted at the Resistance camp.”

“I’ll be there shortly.”

The recruit nodded and ducked out of the office. Efvra sighed knowing his work was never done. He glanced once more down at the datapad and frowned thinking that if only this alien’s picture made him seem so off-balance he wondered how he would ever work with her provided the alliance were solidified.

“At least there are no bioelectrics,” he muttered pushing his chair back and proceeding to stride purposefully to the landing pad.


	2. Chapter 2

\------------------------------------------

_Evfra,_

_It is incredible! The Initiative – which I have learned is the proper term for the alien collective – colony on Eos, Prodromos, is a marvel! The Pathfinder’s words were indeed true! She has activated the vault whose lights can be seen tracing patterns across the sky which has greatly reduced the radiation on the surface. It is nearly habitable! Of course, it is nothing compared to the home world! I sincerely expressed my glee upon her asking what I thought of it through my bioelectrics while simply nodding. She merely frowned at me. These creatures are quite dull in this way. It is very troublesome to only search for meaning in voices. Sometimes I feel the ship doctor taking note of my field. Perhaps these Asari are more capable._

_The Pathfinder seems to be attempting diplomatic advances with me. She said that she would enjoy spending time with me – watching me work. I thought of the arrangement that we have and reminded her that we needed to understand each other and build more trust before sharing information. She did make an excellent point saying that we must speak to each other to accomplish these goals. Evfra, I find great sense in this statement. The Pathfinder is wise. Perhaps we should consider. She has spoken true about Eos, and I have watched her advance the Initiative taking time to hear many problems and delegating accordingly._

_It is something to consider._

_Stay strong and clear._

_Jaal_

\--------------------------

Evfra wanted to band his head against the desk, but that would be undignified, so he settled for placing his head in his hands sending a thousand curses to Jaal’s optimistic and trusting attitude. At least Jaal was trying to be careful and remember Evfra’s wishes. It was why the Resistance was still a formidable force. Evfra had been steady and calm, and the only one that was able to control enough of himself to not tip off the kett.

“I need a moment,” he said without glancing up at his subordinates.

“Yes, sir.”

Evfra waited until he heard the clink of boots file out of the room, and the door close behind them before keying in the private transmission code to Jaal’s comm. At first, there was simply static and crackling before the channel cleared, and Jaal’s voice rang in the silence of the office.

“Evfra, I trust you read my message. How can I be of service?”

Evfra simply sighed. “Do not forget that these aliens are invaders.”

He could almost feel Jaal’s impatience with him.

“Yes, Evfra. But – I can’t help but think that this Pathfinder – this Initiative – is genuine.”

Evfra snorted a bit at that. “The Initiative does not inspire confidence in me.”

“This Pathfinder has not done anything to dissuade my trust. And I must admit that I am – intrigued by her.”

“You are not bedding an alien.”

Jaal let out a rumbling laugh which very much annoyed Evfra. “It may be a one-time chance. She seems… nimble.”

“Do I have to remind you about the fraternization policy within the Resistance – not to mention with the enemy?”

“No, Evfra. And we still do not know that she is the ‘enemy’.”

“It did not go so well last time.”

“Perhaps you do not understand, because you are not here.”

The silence stretched uncomfortable for a moment before Jaal decided to fill it again.

“I will put you in contact with her. Later.”

“Jaal – “

“I must speak to you later. Urgent matters need my attention.”

Evfra heard a high voice calling for Jaal before the comm simply returned to static. Evfra was not looking forward to the later comm chat, because he knew that Jaal’s large eyes would work their magic on the Pathfinder just as well as they did with the Moshae. Besides the Pathfinder would talk to him, because that would be what Evfra would do – invasion or not.

He dove diligently into the mountain of paperwork that his warriors had begun to pile in ever more creative stacks within his workspace. It would be utterly amazing if he were in any shape at all for a battle when the time came. He sometimes felt that all he did was sit. He was turning into a bloody paperweight.

It was several hours later that he heard the vidcom ring. The aliens had left the communicator on a stool in his office. He jerked up at the chime and felt his back crack in an area that he was sure it shouldn’t have cracked. A small piece of paper – practically a relic in his civilization. With the degradation of their planet, paper was a luxury that the Resistance was not afforded. Trees became harder and harder to come by. Apparently, the Initiative had not realized this yet.

The small yellow paper was scribbled in a flowery script that included a symbol of two dots and a curved line.

Press to talk!

Evfra’s mouth drooped lower at the utter wastefulness of this Initiative and its Pathfinder. He pulled the paper in disgust and tossed it on the floor. The angara suddenly felt a pang of guilt as if the little screaming box was admonishing his wasteful actions.

“You – bad – too. You – bad – too,” the little box screeched in that blocky way that machines do.

Evfra grumbled under his breath. “What a nuisance.”

He picked up the paper and evened out the creases making it flat and neat beside the noisy box when suddenly the box went utterly silent. Evfra froze feeling as if he had just made the most dire diplomatic error of his life. He began running through countermeasures to all the possible excuses he could give. Perhaps the blatant disrespect that he had just shown would pit the Resistance against this Initiative along with the kett. He began pacing back and forth in front of the box breaking out in a cold sweat as he held a hand to his chin in contemplation. He was not supposed to be a diplomat. He was a warrior who had no family. For the good of his people, he supposed the only correct action to amend the disrespect would be to submit to this Initiative as punishment.

He took a moment to compose himself, rein in his field, and tug his signature frown onto his face. On second thought, he screwed his face into a look of contrite sadness attempting Jaal’s pleading eyes. He desperately needed a mirror in front of him to assure himself that he did indeed look equal parts strong and capable combined with how terribly sorry he was to have offended this alien collective.

He pushed the button and waited. The hologram winked on within a few moments showing the Pathfinder standing in front of the vidcom as if a rod were stuck up her spine and food on her face.

“Yes?!”

He felt this creature may not deserve the battle praises Jaal had cast upon her. She leaned closer to him creasing the skin between her eyes. He found it difficult to remind himself that the hologram was not an actual lifeform, and he naturally felt inclined to take a step back. Of course, he didn’t, because the shame of being intimidated by this soft creature would absolutely ruin his very carefully crafted fearless leader reputation.

“Sir, are you sick? I hope you’re resting properly.”

Evfra then gave up his hope at making a passable attempt at schooling his features letting his signature frown grace his face. “I see you’re eating properly.”

Her eyes opened wide, and she wiped her mouth taking whatever she had on her face onto her sleeve. At this, her cheeks turned dark, and he wondered if it was a sign of embarrassment the same as angara.

“We weren’t given a cook on board. The Director said that it was a waste of personnel, so I am trying to cook – for myself.”

“I see. But you are the leader. Should someone not bring you a meal?”

She laughed high and burbling. “I would probably eat better if that were the case.” She paused a moment and grimaced. “At least on some days.”

Evfra thought back to Jaal’s cooking which he very much missed. It had been a running joke that Jaal would make Evfra a fine wife – a joke that was never said in the leader’s presence yet he had heard nonetheless. Since Jaal was on the Tempest, he had been eating ration bars and calling in orders from the local merchants at times.

“So, Jaal said that you wanted to talk to me. Is there something that I can help with?”

Evfra snapped his attention back to the present realizing that he had been having a normal conversation for a moment, but there were more pressing matters to discuss.

“Perhaps.”

It was at this point that Evfra realized that he didn’t have anything to discuss with the alien. Jaal had simply said that she would inspire confidence in him, yet it appeared that he had to do all the work. Where was Jaal with his easy confidence now? He had put him in this situation, so he should at least get him out of it.

He glanced up at the Pathfinder’s glittering blue eyes staring at him expectantly. Her smile lines on her face were prominent for one so young, and he felt that they made a stark contrast to his own surly demeanor. He recalled what Jaal had said about understanding and speaking – which sounded uncomfortably like being social to Evfra, but it was all that he could think of at the moment.

“Jaal believes that if we speak of each other we will grow closer to. . . an arrangement.” He could not bring himself to say the words that Jaal had used, for they were much too open for him and seemed to stick in his mouth.  
She chewed on her lip never taking her eyes off him. This made him wish to fidget, and his scar began to itch. After what seemed like a century, her smile lines did what they had always been meant to do, and her teeth showed.

“Jaal is most often correct it seems.”

Evfra nodded curtly then revisited the comment. “What do you mean by that?”

He had a bad feeling that Jaal had let his feelings get the better of him once more, and he knew that he was right when the Pathfinder’s face began to grow pale. Nobody would need a bioelectric field to understand this woman.  
“Simply that the angara are led by a wise leader. And it was a good idea – on the part of Jaal!”

Evfra let her fidget for a moment before responding. He enjoyed this moment, despite his footnote to admonish the loose-tongued angara at a later date.

“As it is your species that wishes to make an alliance with my own, I feel that it is proper that you go first.”

“What would you wish to know?”

Evfra blinked at her quick answer. He supposed that he would have liked to know how many warships were in their navy, how many warriors were at her disposal, the number of planets and content of territory the Initiative required, but instead he looked at the young inexperienced Pathfinder and blurted, “How did you get your position?”

Ryder’s face became hard and impassable, and Evfra regretted his question immediately. He was always so easily able to stick to the basics and business matters, but he kept slipping into easy conversation with the Pathfinder’s casual attitude. Now the diplomatic issues with the missed call were going to be called into question as well as his insinuation that she was incompetent.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean that you were –“ He took a deep breath. “Jaal says that you run a capable ship.”

She bit her lip and looked down. Her hair fell over her eyes, and she rubbed at them before taking her own deep breath and looking back up at him. He swore that he saw tears streaking her cheeks. He was used to seeing angara vulnerable with their emotions, but they didn’t change so dramatically as this woman’s own. And oddly enough, he understood. He reigned in his field so often that when he was pressed, it sometimes exploded.

“I wasn’t trained for it. My father – I inherited it when he died. When we arrived.”

Evfra felt that he should be silent. He felt that if he began talking he would not stop. Her tears reminded him of when his family was taken by the kett. The silence was comfortable, and while his memories hurt, it seemed that both losses could be mourned as one at least in this moment.

“I understand.”

She looked up, and her gaze was as steely as the cold blue of the frozen slopes of Voeld. “It makes you stronger. Gives you a reason.”

He felt her gaze pore over his scar, and he shivered.

“We all wear our scars.”

Evfra felt naked, and he looked away. “My scars are my own.”

Her gaze wouldn’t let him retreat. It held him there in front of the infernal box with the happy Press to talk! paper with its smoothed creases.

“So are mine. So are Jaal’s. So are everyone’s. It’s not like just because we are leaders we have to be impossibly larger than life.”

He stared at her until she fidgeted. “I suppose. . . I suppose you are right.”

She beamed. “Now, you can stop being grumpy?”

His frown returned. “I am not.”

“Certainly. Especially over drinks.”

“I do not do anything ‘over drinks.’”

A corner of her lips tugged up. “I look forward to hearing from you again.”

Evfra tried not to grimace – which was easier than normal. “Good day.”

“Stay strong and clear.”

Evfra hoped the way that his eyebrows shot up was cut off when the vidcom winked out of sight. He was definitely going to have to talk to Jaal about aliens and trust issues – mainly about why he should have them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I changed the formatting. I just started AO3 and wasn't familiar with the posting process.

_Evfra,_

_I know that you would be wary of the food on board the vessel, but I have decided that poison is the least of my worries. I have been trying their food thinking that if this alliance is successful we may be able to share crops. Kallo, the pilot, has told me that they have brought a seed vault from each home planet. The tastes have differed between each crew member that has prepared it. I am not allowed to cook at the moment. Ryder seems to think that it is an affront on her hospitality.  I’m certain that I would be able to prepare several meals for you upon our return trip._

_Potatoes – They are a small brown root. I have found that the taste is unsatisfactory when Vetra prepares the dish for me, yet when Suvi makes them by bathing them in another root called garlic, they are quite good. I do not like the ‘sauerkraut’ dish that she prepares with it though. She takes it out of a can lamenting how she wishes it were fresh. I am not optimistic that the difference would make it any more pleasant._

_Tuna – Apparently, it is an Earth fish. Vetra prepares it very well, although it is also in a can. She tells me that the fish upon her home planet are better suited to her tastes, but the ship was stocked by humans. I take it that she may be more suited to the preparation of meats due to her canines. When I mentioned this to Liam, he advised me to only eat her fish._

_Asparagus – It is a long green sprout that also comes from a can. I had doubts until Liam mentioned that it is a fungus. I am quite fond of the mushrooms on our home planet, so I ate more than I should’ve. It was limp and stringy with no flavor._

_Ration Cakes – Cora prepared these. She offered them to me in my quarters, so I am not certain how they are made. I suspect that she simply opened a can of them, for they looked quite lonely on the plate. I did not wish to be rude, so I ate them. It was like eating the ground. They crumbled down my rolfjinn and made a mess. The taste was also bland. I am beginning to believe that these humans have no taste for surely they would have discovered herbs by now if it were a sense. I suspect they only have five._

_Beer – Drack prepared my meal with a drink that I believe is an intoxicant. I am not one to succumb to drink, but it was very strong. I say this only to warn you. I believe that I ate more ration cakes afterwards. They tasted much better after intoxication. Now that I think about it, I believe that I have never seen Drack drink anything else. Perhaps it is a dietary restriction._

_Lexi is calling on the com. I do not wish for her to prepare my dinner. She wishes to draw my blood to check for vitamin deficiencies beforehand. I have been questioned too many times over my biology than is comfortable. You know that I always believed such things to be interesting but not worth mentioning. Apparently, the women on board think that this is absurd. Lexi, of course, and Ryder have both asked me questions. I believe that I successfully turned them away with my lack of interest in the subject. Although, I did feel rather uneducated as they could each tell me exactly how their own bodies functioned. Ryder asked first. I asked her if she knew how her eyes worked. She did. I asked Lexi something more personal hoping to create a taboo to incite silence. She told me precisely how she reproduced and followed up asking for angaran reproduction. I do hope there is not a follow-up conversation._

_I miss Aya, but this journey is quite invigorating. We are going to Voeld shortly. My worries tend to come only at night. The new sights and experiences pile up so very quickly. And at times, I wish to simply pretend the Moshae is with you on Aya. I know that is not the case. I will contact you before you land._

_Stay strong and clear._

_Jaal_

Evfra had to smile at Jaal being uncomfortable. He had often been the victim of Jaal’s relentless prying questions, and it was nice to see the tables turned on him. He was also, of course, anxious to see the mission on Voeld completed, and the Moshae returned. He keyed in Commander Heckt on his comm and waited. The static drew on for barely a moment before the Commander’s voice broke through.

“Sir.”

“We have word that the aliens offering to rescue the Moshae are currently on course for Voeld. Ensure the location is surveyed one last time, and the shuttle is prepped with supplies and fuel.”

“Yes, sir. I will ready my team and have them on standby. Do not worry, sir. We will return with the Moshae.”

Evfra knew his men – his people – were sensitive to his concerns despite his reduction in field, and the words were equal parts discomforting and relieving. Perhaps he was a bit like Jaal in his practice of forgetting.

“You will do your duty well. You have my full confidence.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Are there any more reports?”

“The science team says that the weather is continuing to worsen, and there has been little activity concerning the kett base. We believe that they are content to hide behind their shield for now.”

Evfra frowned a bit more and placed a hand to his chin. “They will be sure to react after the Moshae is taken. Station men at key points along the routes leading away from the base. Has the map of Voeld been recovered yet?”

“No, sir. We are still searching for it.”

Evfra wished that the news was otherwise, so he could personally strategize and lay out the necessary navpoints himself, but it couldn’t be helped. He knew the thought would nag at the back of his mind if he could not focus on something else – anything else.

“I wish to be notified of their arrival.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Keep in mind that these aliens are not trustworthy at the moment. Intel is on a need to know basis.”

“Understood, sir.”

“Stay strong and clear.”

The commander repeated the ritual goodbye, and the com blinked out. Evfra closed his eyes and breathed deeply. When his eyes opened, he saw the little yellow paper note slowly darkening in the shadows.

_Press to talk!_

He supposed that an ETA would be useful to obtain. Perhaps then – despite the time difference – he could reasonably calm his nerves. His stomach had begun to tie in knots as the Moshae’s rescue approached, and he became restless wanting to pace and run to try to bolt down the frantic energy that had started to pulse through his field. He was lucky that Paaran had failed to have some sort of mundane problem, because it was very likely that she would have come before this time. He felt weary at the thought of trying to rein in his field. It was simply an added bonus that the vidcom was not bioelecrically enabled. Any angaran device would have be certain to transmit his field as well as his presence.

He pressed the button and composed himself in the mirror that he had had installed today in front of the vidcom. He refused to answer any questions or give any explanations for their leader’s sudden spurt of vanity as the pointed angaran whispers and inclined heads in his direction silently asked why he needed to be so pretty. He felt a better question was how he could be even remotely handsome with his small frame, ever present frown, and scarred skin. The Moshae had frequently made it known to him that at least one of those was under his control – much to his annoyance.

It was before he felt completely ready that Ryder appeared before him. Perhaps he should prepare before pressing the button on subsequent dat- meetings. Very serious meetings.

“General de Tershaav.”

“Pathfinder, Jaal tells me that you are setting a course to Voeld soon. I need an ETA.”

He tried to sound demanding rather than desperate.

“Kallo says that we will arrive by. . . Actually, I’m not certain how to tell you the time without confusing the systems’ time differences. We run on a 24-hour schedule which is set by the Nexus, our main station, so for us that would be 0600. Time enough for a good sleep on a human schedule – perhaps not asari.”

“Our system is also 24-hour scheduling.”

The Pathfinder laughed. “A whole galaxy difference, and we still elect to divide our time in the same way.”

Evfra fought his own smile down but couldn’t keep the quirk from one of his lips. “It is certainly a coincidence.”

“What do you use to regulate it?”

“Our system was recently switched. The home planet, Havaarl, did not have days of light and dark as dramatic as Aya. When Havaarl was our concentration, we used a longer 10-hour system with veshiths and cadaans. Some of those on Havaarl still use it such as our sages.”

“Can you explain that a bit better? Veshiths and cad - ? They didn’t translate.”

“Our ancients measured the cycles with stars. Veshiths and cadaans are rooted there, but they equate to 1/3 hours and 2/3 hours.”

The Pathfinder nodded. “I have to say that I am glad you switched.”

“Yes. It is much simpler. When the kett began the war, the faulty vault on Havaarl made it reasonable to switch our base to Aya which has a more dramatic cycle of days and nights leading to the rise of the 24-hour system with Aya as its base.”

“So what is the difference of hours between the Nexus and Aya in your system?”

“Probably near positive six.”

“So around noon. We should be at Voeld around noon.”

Evfra’s mind snapped back to the business at hand chiding himself for getting lost in the casual conversation.

“I will be awaiting news of your arrival.”

The Pathfinder peered at him with a serious determination in her eyes, and he was lost for a moment. The Moshae was a teacher – respected for her knowledge and warmth. She was also the closest thing to a mother that Evfra had since his family’s demise. He knew that war had losses, and he had trained himself to become numb to them. Death rode on his every word, and it was a burden that this inexperienced and untrained woman had not known would be given to her – a situation much similar to his own. What gave her the right to look at him with that absolute certainty that she could deliver on her promises in a way that was so genuine? How did she come to have those smile lines in her life to accompany those choices?

“I will contact you when the Moshae and Jaal are on board the Tempest – safe and sound.”

“I expect nothing less.”

He tried to add more to his voice and keep it from betraying him. His field was of no consequence to the woman on the human vidcom, so it had simply become one less thing to focus his attention toward. It was at this time he heard his office door click and squeak.

“Evfra! Are you okay?!”

He pulled his field back fiercely leaving a vast emptiness in the room, and Paaran’s eyes fell on his angry expression, and the Pathfinder’s abrupt snap to attention.

“Excuse me. I did not realize you were busy,” she said as she backed out of the room.

Evfra felt her bioelectrics tickling and teasing his own, and he felt that it was very inappropriate and uncomfortable.

“We were simply discussing the Pathfinder’s upcoming peace mission.”

He hoped his business tone hid how uncomfortable he felt at being caught in such a way. He should have known that Paaran would be bothering him this evening with some preparation or another. The Pathfinder’s eyes flicked from him to the governor and back.

“I believe that I should go prepare for arrival.”

Her words were slow and measured leaving Evfra in a moment of confusion, and his mind was still mulling over it when the vidcom winked out leaving him standing in the quickly darkening room with Paaran. Her eyes searched his face, while her field ran over him to try to gain something.

He blanched in annoyance at her prying. “What can I do for you?”

It was his tone that would never make him a merchant. While his words held no ill connotation, he was sure that the annoyance dripped from his voice as he felt it should.

“I have festivities requests.”

That was when Evfra placed a hand to his head. It would be the nosy governor that would hold parties during wartime for ‘morale.’ He felt that this would simply encourage more fraternization complaints. Young warriors were still – young.

“I’ll work on it tonight.”

She tilted her head frowning. “Why not in the morning?”

Evfra knew he wasn’t going to sleep. He pulled out a ration bar and took the datapad from her.

“Did I ask for your opinion?”

“Maybe you should.” She crossed her arms and frowned. You’re going to die at that desk.

“And you’ll die of drink in a ball gown.”

“It sounds much more pleasant. At least order something from the tavetaan.”

Evfra had dealt with Paaran enough to know that she was relentless in her attempts to socialize him and care for him as if he were a school age child that simply stayed away from all his siblings and family. He did, but that was not the point.

“I will think about it,” he said and defiantly bit into a ration bar without looking up from the datapad.

He heard her sigh and felt her prying cease. “Get some rest.”

The food from the tavetaan arrived shortly after that, and he silently unboxed it noting the purple tubers inside wondering if the Pathfinder had prepared any meals for Jaal. He had not mentioned it in the email. Evfra briefly wondered if she would be a good cook. He remembered how familiar her determination had felt. If their situations were so similar, perhaps their culinary skills were as well. Of course, Evfra refused to wish that curse on anyone.

If she could recover the Moshae ‘safe and sound’ as she claimed, she could burn water, and he would think nothing less of her.


	4. Chapter 4

Evfra found that he could in fact sleep that night. He awoke to the sound of rustling papers and the scraping of boots as the first of the Resistance’s most avid warriors arrived at the headquarters. His comm flashed sullenly, and he sat up feeling the creaks in his neck and back stretch and linger stubbornly. He cleaned the sleep out of his eyes and rubbed the bleariness out of them as well. His brain was short-circuiting, and he pulled it back online to remember that today was the day that the Moshae would be rescued or not – as the case may be. With a frantic scrabbling that did not befit a general, he reached for his comm knocking the blasted thing off his desk. He swore as he stood and bent to pick it off the cold floor. He flicked open his email to see an unread message from Jaal.

_Evfra,_

_Today is the day. I look forward to giving you the good news at a later date. I am having difficulties sleeping and have decided to prepare my gear in advance. Ryder has briefed the crew earlier. She has chosen me and the turian to accompany her. I believe that the crew was a bit fearful and somber. Liam – who I feel harbors intentions towards the Pathfinder – insisted that he be included in the party. Ryder’s face became the most unnatural shape. When Lexi asked if she was ill, she deepened the grimace and inclined her head towards Liam. Liam simply stood defiantly. I was standing next to her at the time, so I doubt that anyone else heard her, but she said, “It works for Evfra.”_

_It pleased me to know that you two have been speaking to each other. Although, I believe that Ryder is not capable of intimidating her crew the way that you do. She simply crossed her arms and told Liam that she would expect him to be standing by if an extraction became necessary. He complied._

_Vetra is capable, as well as Ryder. You know very well that I am capable. It is strange that the team will be composed of people that are all alien to each other. I mentioned to Ryder that it was strange to be surrounded by aliens. She simply crossed her arms and rather cheekily told me that I was an alien. It is quite refreshing to know that in a way we are all one and the same._

_But I digress. It would be prudent for me to get some sleep. Ryder says that we will arrive at 0600 hours. I believe that will be 1200 hours on Aya. I will let you know when we arrive and also when we return victorious. I will cook._

_Stay strong and clear._

_Jaal_

Evfra glanced at the clock. He had five more hours to wait for the start of the mission and longer to hear the conclusion. He looked at his desk which was strewn with datapads where he must have tossed and turned throughout the night strewing them across the office. He clenched his jaw and swallowed feeling the knot in his stomach tighten. He set an alarm for noon and resigned himself to its mercy and began filing the datapads diligently.

This technique of succumbing to numbness while he waited for a mission to be completed had worked for him very well in the past, and this time was no different. When the noon alarm blared, he was in the middle of telling Avela that she was not going to send another one of his warriors to rescue some obscure pottery shard that would be priceless to her museum. Evfra blinked and turned abruptly to look at his desk. It had been put back in order neatly leaving an empty area around the comm. Now, he knew that he was utterly useless. He simply told Avela that the alarm was extremely important. It was a common practice of loud blaring objects to scare his subordinates away. It was almost as if an alarm told them that Evfra did indeed have more important things to do. This time was no different. The historian simply leveled a concerned and curious stare at him before quickly exiting the office. She had been to see him enough that she knew a cranky Evfra was bad enough without dealing with agitated and annoyed alongside it.

He sat down in front of his comm with a datapad that he knew he would not be reading and waited for the blink of the comm. Days became nonexistent, and seconds stretched to fill the hours. He frequently looked up to notice that the clock had indeed not changed. A few times he even checked the battery knowing that it would not be glowing if it were not charged, but it made him feel better.

At 12:11 – an absurdly long delay according to Evfra’s standards – his comm blinked.

_Evfra,_

_We have arrived in orbit. Landing within the hour._

_Stay strong and clear._

_Jaal_

Evfra breathed a sigh of relief and instantly followed that with a sense that his lungs would never have enough air in them. It was time. The Moshae would either come back, or he would lose her, Jaal, and that strangely relatable alien by the end of today.

He started to hope beyond all reason. He knew she was an alien. He had already lost so much though. He had already written the Moshae down in his mind as dead and gone leaving himself numb inside to every thought of her. Today he felt that wound start to heal with the thought that just maybe he would get her back, and maybe this new hole in his heart was just a misunderstanding. Perhaps Jaal was correct in placing his trust in this new creature – this Pathfinder.

The vidcom started beeping, and Evfra jumped. The thing was going crazy, and he was not in the best state to answer it, but he dragged himself in front of the mirror straightening his armor as he went. He was sure that his staff had thought a catastrophe had occurred with all the noise their general had produced this morning.

He clicked it on.

“Ryder,” he said in what he hoped was an authoritative tone.

Her eyes widened, and she tilted her head. He was unsure what was wrong with his greeting replaying it in his head. He used a formal tone and was a calculating bit of stern. Then he realized that he had called the Pathfinder by a more familiar name than her title.

“I apologize, Pathfinder.” The apology was rushed out of his mouth as if it were made of wind. He had been letting his guard down too often.

She frowned at him, and he thought of Jaal’s story of her interpretation of his grin. Ryder’s – the Pathfinder’s – frown was not at all like his own. It made her cheeks seem puffed, and her brows knitted together. She was anything but fierce, and the thought of her intimidating anyone like that made his lips threaten to twitch into a smile. She was more intimidating when her eyes shown like grey steel, and she gritted her teeth – not turning her lips which were so obviously defined by smile lines into a frown.

“Please don’t. I was actually quite happy – surprised but happy – that you felt so… familiar with me.”

Evfra felt a blush start to come over his face. The very thought of him being familiar with an alien – let alone a diplomat or person of power – was a taboo that he felt should be left in the realm of impossibility. Yet he wished to call her by her name again breaking a personal rule that had saved him in other situations.

But he shook it off and composed himself.

“Pathfinder,” he said watching her hesitant smile disappear in an emotionless mask, and his own blush grew greater as he felt a pulse of sadness in his field. “Jaal says that you arrived to Voeld – in orbit of Voeld.”

“Yes.” Her voice was calm and even as she spoke, but she was biting her lip – a little hard he thought. “Although we are on the planet now. We will be meeting Commander Heckt shortly. We just need to gear up.”

Evfra knew he seemed desperate and not the quietly controlled general that he had cultivated, but perhaps from one general to another, he could afford to be a little human in this matter.

“I hope – I hope all goes smoothly. I want nothing more to see the Moshae and Jaal return safely.”

He looked down for the split second that it took to utter the words not wanting to admit or give any appearance of admittance to how impossibly weak he was – how he wished for no more death or destruction.

“And you. Return safely. To make our alliance.”

He searched her gaze and watched her smile lines fill the way they always should. She raised her right arm across her chest without all the power that the angara would put into the motion, and he thought it quite graceful.

“Stay strong and clear,” she said. Her voice was gravelly through the vidcom connection, but she smiled, and Evfra nodded as his lips quirked once more.

He raised his right arm putting the force of his will behind it as a true angara.

“Stay strong and clear.”

The vidcom winked out, and Evfra saw his reflection in the mirror. He noted – as usual – all the things he hated about himself:  his small shoulders, lanky build, and numerous scars. But most importantly, he noted his smile, and before he remembered who had made him smile, he liked it.


	5. Chapter 5

He had been waiting impatiently all day. He had set an alarm for midnight, but his usual method of coping with a sort of timed stress had not worked, since he had not been given a time. He was of the opinion that twelve hours more than sufficed for mission completion, yet he had not heard anything from Jaal or the Pathfinder. His subordinates had noticed he was on the warpath and had given him quite a wide berth when he thought it would be absolutely relaxing to relieve his frustration at the slightest provocation. At times, he thought it was this particular trait that made him absolutely unbearable. The Moshae prized him yet continued to try to chide that nasty habit out of him. To this day, she had been unsuccessful. The stubborn angara was resolute in the fact that foolishness should be followed by a sound tongue lashing, and who was to say that some amount or another was sufficient?

Evfra was alone, and it wasn’t solely, because the office was closed quite awhile ago. He knew that partially – if not completely – was his fault. And that was why he worried so. The Moshae – his teacher and parent figure – and Jaal – the single blessed soul that while he frustrated Evfra was his closest and only friend – may never come back again. The worst part is that it was not in his hands. It was in the hands of an untested leader from a galaxy he had never seen. What had he been thinking letting Jaal talk him into this arrangement? A pretty smiling face was not qualification enough to run an army, and as far as he knew, inheritance of position may be a given in the Milky Way species.

A noise filtered through his mountain of reports, and Evfra scrabbled for his comm.

_Evfra,_

_We have rescued the Moshae._

Air suddenly leapt back into his lungs, and the world was less bleak. He read no more until he wiped the involuntary tears out of his eyes. This Pathfinder had given him his surrogate family back. At this point, he cared not in what capacity. He looked back up at the comm and prepared to read the rest of the email.

_Evfra,_

_We have rescued the Moshae._

_I do not know how to say this. Too many truths have been revealed, and I don’t know how to tell them correctly. We saw a kett being born – or perhaps ‘made’ is a better word as they were hand picking those who received this ‘gift’. There were pods of angara, and a kett sage performed a ritual. He had two syringes filled with a fluid that he injected into the angara. Evfra, I have never seen such fear and pain on a warrior’s face. The fluid raced through his veins and was exuded out the pores covering his body in a wet black mask which hardened and flaked to reveal a kett. We are kett._

_I scarcely believe it myself and would not – could not – unless I had seen it with my own eyes. I am trying to order it in my own heart. I feel as though the hate and killing were of my own kind right now, and I can’t find peace. I want to reverse it – save them. I question Ryder’s final decision. There was only enough time to either set charges or free what people we could. Ryder destroyed the facility and killed who the Moshae referred to as the Cardinal – the one turning our people. The Moshae is impressed with Ryder for this decision calling it brave. I understand, but I cannot come to terms with it at the moment._

_I know this blow is a double-edged sword. Will our people think that Ryder struck a blow to the kett, or that she does not value the lives of the angara? I think that Ryder truly thought that she would save more by ridding Voeld of that vile place. She approached me afterwards seeming anxious, nervous. She offered to let me talk. She is kind. When I mentioned that I missed my family, she reminded me that her family is small, but she said that her crew was family. I felt that she was welcoming me into this very alien family._

_I am going to stay with the Moshae until we arrive back at Aya. I need to think, and she needs rest. It will not be too much trouble to stay at her side._

_Stay strong and clear, for I am neither at the moment._

_Jaal_

Evfra blinked at the comm not knowing what to do for a moment. He hated to think that his own people would murder each other. What would make an angaran warrior change so? What is this drug that within a matter of minutes could rewrite everything that a soul held dear?

For a moment, he wished that he had never read the email. He could certainly sleep easier this night if he hadn’t known. He thought back to his family feeling a certain relief that ran with a guilty edge as he thought of all the things that made him unappealing were perhaps the very thing that saved them from exaltation by delivering them into the arms of death. Perhaps his father’s shoulders were not broad enough, his mother’s waist too thin, or his cousin’s eyes too low. He had always been a little too something, and at this moment, he was glad of it. He had the comfort that he had not killed his family a second time in their foreign body.

It was midnight on Aya, and he swiveled his chair around to look out his window that overlooked the courtyard where the last few stragglers were leaving the tavetaan after a night of merriment and forgetting their troubles in drink. He wished their troubles were simpler, but it was a war no matter how beautiful Aya’s night sky shown or how sweet the night birds twittered in the trees. He knew it was late and did not relish what he was about to do.

_Jaal,_

_Alert me to your arrival. I will speak with you about this when you return. Do not doubt yourself my friend. You are indeed strong, and to have difficulty with this is a blessing to me. You have been my conscience many times, yet I see the necessity, and I cannot fathom the significance right now. I will decide how best to tell our people. This discovery is something that may change some warriors’ hearts. You have a strong heart that will find a path for you, as it has shown me my own many times._

_I will be waiting, my friend._

_Evfra_

Evfra stared at the correspondence judging it a good balance between sympathy and the words of a superior. He sent the message after reading it a second and a third time. He knew Jaal had a strong and good heart, but despite it all he worried for his friend. The choices of leadership are hard, and sometimes they are brutal and cruel but for the best. He could not say that he would have made the same decision, but the probability is high. On missions, his focus had seemed to focus and strategize without heart – a cold, calculating rationality. He had been the Moshae’s best student for good reason. Then the strategy was a game, but now it was all too real at times.

He watched a couple embrace in the courtyard sneaking a stealthy kiss in the night air, and for a brief moment, his heart felt lonely. He could reined in his field not wanting to disturb the couple. He was unsure if his field could be sensed, but he was happier to observe their tender touches and warm smiles. It reminded him of what he was protecting. Would he sacrifice his warriors for that couple? Yes, he decided. His soldiers were at this very moment protecting them now knowing that their families should be able to live without fear once again.

He swiveled back to his desk and keyed Paraan’s code into the comm. The static blared for longer than normal until a bleary voice answered with a groan.

“Paraan.”

He could almost feel the shock and fear as Paraan realized who was calling and at what hour.

“Evfra! What is it? Is something the matter?!”

“It is important, Paraan. Although it is not a life or death matter at the moment. I wanted you to know that the Moshae has been rescued, and the Milky Way aliens will return tomorrow. You will need to organize a shore party in the morning.”

Her voice was silent for a moment. “As much as I applaud your choosing to let me know in advance, I do not wish to be woken up at this hour again.”

Evfra sighed, “I understand, Paraan, but I wish for this alliance to proceed without incident. We need allies in this war, and I am not the best choice for gaining them.”

Paraan’s voice was soft when she replied giving Evfra a tinge of guilt. He knew that he should not speak so frankly with the governor, but stress and the cool night air kept piling on him, and he was weakening.

“Evfra, you should rest tonight. Go home.”

“There is more, Paraan. I – I do not know how to tell our people. You are better with words – kinder. I will speak to the soldiers as a general must, but the civilians…”

“The people love you more than you think.”

“The people love a person that no longer exists.”

“Evfra –“

“I will speak to you in the morning, Paraan.”

He knew he was short, but Paraan would always expect him to be the boy that had a family of scholars who doted upon him – all smiles and optimism, and he was not that boy anymore. He was stronger than that, and he was suited to his solitary mission.

“Please go home tonight.”

“I will.”

“Good night.”

Evfra knew she was cross with him in the sad way that those with families tended to pity him. Paraan’s case was filled with love. Their families had always tried to push them together – even the Moshae had made passing comments about the match before, but that life had ended the day he was orphaned. The Shie family had offered him sanctuary, and he had turned them down choosing to be orphaned instead. Paraan had harbored the hope that Evfra would return to them, but with time that hope had been seen for the unrealistic dream that it was.

The comm winked out, and Evfra stood stretching. He looked out the window noticing the couple had gone and collected his rofjinn from the locker by the door. He put it over his head and left locking the headquarters behind him. His apartment was not far, and he took many routes trying to walk away from his thoughts and extend his time in Aya’s peaceful streets, but he arrived in front of his door nonetheless.

The empty apartment was solely his own. At first, it had been stressed that it was temporary, but with time and his refusal to relinquish any Resistance duties, he had started to believe this apartment to be permanently his. At this rate, he was certain his home away from the capital was degrading from lack of use.

He undressed, showered, and lay in bed naked letting his thoughts drift back to his and Ryder’s vidcom conversation before the mission. Jaal had been hovering at the Pathfinder’s shoulder, but Evfra knew Jaal was solely focused on his leader making Evfra’s skin crawl.

“I meant them. I want you to know you can trust me,” Ryder had said.

Evfra had let his suspicions waver at the hopeful look in her eyes.

“You rescued Shavod-gaan. His loss would have been hard for the Resistance.” Evfra felt his feelings getting the better of him and added, “But your true agenda is clear – to explore Aya’s vault. Jaal says you want to help find the Moshae. Why should I let you?”

Evfra was curious after all. He assumed the Initiative would want an alliance – to fight the kett and garner supplies, but he wanted to be careful about what they wanted and what the angara gave. Their resources were already thin, and Evfra knew that better than anybody.

“My personal code is ‘I got this.’”

Evfra held in a snort which would have been terribly undiplomatic. This alien was something else entirely. The cheeky confidence written on her face made Evfra wish to trust her more and let this untried alien have a chance at bringing home his teacher. In that moment, he saw himself in the Pathfinder. It was the confidence that came with a command. He only wondered if she could continue smiling after having had to make the hard choices.

“Bold. A little arrogant. Like me. Still I’ll reserve judgement for now.”

Evfra watched her try to wipe a smile off of her face, and he suddenly felt self-conscious.  He hurried to change the subject back to something safer than diplomacy.

“We’ve managed to trace the Moshae to a special kett facility on Voeld.”

“Why special?”

“These facilities are protected by a dynamic shield tech we haven’t been able to crack. We’re close, but its ability to adapt outstrips the speed of our current processors.”

Evfra’s voice was frustrated, and he let his eyes drift to Jaal for a moment who hadn’t stopped studying the general for a moment. Jaal nodded at him as if approving Evfra’s frankness. Evfra quickly looked away, but he felt better for it. When he looked at the Pathfinder, her focus was elsewhere as if listening to something or someone that only she could hear. Her blue eyes flashed as she leaned forward suddenly.

“Evfra, I can help,” she said as her voice showed no hint of doubt in her abilities. “Respectfully, this time you need my help.”

Evfra balked at that feeling anger well up inside him. His pride was wounded, and his next words were more growl than speech.

“Respectfully, the angara don’t _need_ anything from you. We take care of our own.”

The Pathfinder’s eyes never flinched, and her body tensed. Her strange five-fingered hands gripped the vidcom table until they turned white. Within a moment, it was as if her demeanor belonged to a different person. Her hands remained clinched, but her voice softened.

“With the processing power of my AI, I can guarantee the shield breach.”

“AI,” asked Evfra not able to hide his childlike delight at having the pieces fall into place. “Of course. That makes sense.”

“He’s physically connected to me and so I need to… well, I want to go.”

“It was risky to be honest about your AI,” Evfra conceded and watched the Pathfinder’s hands relax. “And honesty makes you different from the kett.”

Jaal smiled knowingly at him, and Evfra felt annoyed at his friend. That closed-lip smile said ‘I told you so’ more than any words Jaal could have uttered.

“I hope so,” Ryder replied letting a flicker of that relaxation enter her voice.

“You’re welcome on the mission.”

“Thank you,” she said genuinely making Evfra long for the comfort of professionalism.

“A team will meet you at our base on Voeld,” he said straightening his posture. “They’ll take you to the kett facility. Stay strong and clear. Goodbye.”

He saw Ryder’s eyebrows shoot up as he closed the channel, and he was left staring at his reddened cheeks in the mirror. The very thought of Ryder catching a glimpse of him the same way that he had glimpsed the surprise in her when the vidcom cut off made the embarrassment come over him again as he lay in his bed, and those thoughts – while embarrassing – were much easier to fall asleep to than the alternative.


	6. Chapter 6

Evfra tossed and turned throughout the morning, for while the thoughts that sent him to sleep, his unconscious mind wandered to places that he didn’t want to go. The only blessing was that he couldn’t quite remember the dreams that woke him up – only that they had not set well with him. He rolled over to look out the window. The light was streaming inside in the misty way that early morning light does. The dew on his window hanging in suspended drops, and he closed his eyes for five more minutes trying to clear his mind.

He had to talk to Paaran this morning. He had to tell her about the exaltation. He had to meet Jaal and the Moshae. He would be faced with revealing the traitorous acts of Vehn Terev. After everything that Jaal had said about the Pathfinder, Evfra wondered if the woman would see him as the hypocrite that he truly felt himself to be. Honest, kind, forthcoming… All the virtues that Jaal extolled in her were going to glow ever more brightly next to his shame.

 _But the Moshae is back_ , he told himself reasoning that the price was nearly nonexistent for the gift of having her returned to him.

He rose and laid his palm against the window. Plants on his small terrace – if it could even be called that – rose to cover the lower half of the window preserving his modesty. The people were just starting to awaken and bustle about. Several shopkeepers were hawking hot drinks and bread to passersby. Resistance warriors walked towards the office where he should be.

His comm began making a raucous noise, and he switched the alarm off stretching his arms above his head and yawning. He performed his daily morning ritual – cleaning his teeth, showering, and making his own dark brewed beverage – and if he paid particular interest to his grooming habits this morning, he reminded himself that he was to be a ‘diplomat’ today representing his people to an alien that he was merely curious about in the normal everyday sense.

The datapad on the table was blinking, and he keyed in his code as if by second nature.

_Evfra,_

_I am glad that you went home. I worry for your health. Whatever this broadcast is, I will be waiting for you in your office to discuss it._

_Paaran_

Evfra was not entirely comfortable with anyone being alone in his office – particularly Paaran. The governor was bound to find something he didn’t want seen. It seemed to almost be a superpower unique to the frustrating woman. He didn’t know what he had that could make her eyebrows raise and that pretty knowing smile slash its way across her face, but he’d rather not find out. He poured the drink into a travel mug and headed to his office.

When he arrived, Paaran was, of course, pruning herself in front of the mirror. She adjusted her headdress once more without giving him a glance when he walked in.

“They told me that you had requested a mirror,” she said nonchalantly.

Evfra grunted hoping that would be the end of the conversation, but she had to glance down at the human vidcom and its scrawling note that he had carefully smoothed the creases from. She plucked it curiously and looked at him as he took a gulp of the foul tasting beverage.

“What is this?”

“A Milky Way communication device. It was left for me to conduct business.”

“No, I mean this.” She pointed to the strange symbol written beside the script.

He shrugged not really wanting to say that the great brave general had really no idea what the Pathfinder had meant by the dots and the curved line. He was certain that the message was clear enough and needed no more explanation.

Paaran turned the paper to the side staring for a moment before setting in back on the little table with a shrug. Evfra felt her field try to prick at his own to share something with him, and he balked sitting heavily down in his chair and selecting Jaal’s message on a datapad handing it to her. Paaran sat heavily in the chair on the other side of the room her face paling. Jaal could feel her field growing ever more frantic as it searched for reassurance from him.

“Should we tell them,” he asked in his flat gruff voice.

“How can you ask that,” she cried in outrage. “We _must_ tell them! These are our people! The monsters are turning our people and… Oh, skies, Evfra! What will they do? What will they think?”

Evfra breathed and leaned back in his desk. “I do not know, but I agree. They must know what we have learned. It… will be difficult.”

Paaran’s eyes filled with tears, and Evfra pulled his gaze back to his desk before he let his own emotions overwhelm him. He would not cry.

“I imagine that some hearts will change and others renewed. I will not force my soldiers to fight their families.”

“They are not family after the transformation. They are changed,” Paaran replied in disgust. “We will meet this Pathfinder at the docks as a hero, Evfra de Tershaav, and we will ask Jaal for more details. If we reveal this information, it must be correct. I will not dishearten my people more than once.” She sighed with sadness and said in nearly a whisper, “And so close to the festivities, too. It is not right.”

Evfra snorted. “This is war, Governor. It is not the time nor the place for parties.”

“You are heartless, Evfra. You would not understand.”

Evfra took her barb with a sad look. He knew that he was not typical, and she considered him cold and unfeeling – an assumption that his gruff demeanor had cultivated.

“Perhaps I am.”

She laid the datapad on his desk with a clatter before saying, “Let me know when they arrive.”

Evfra gave her a curt professional nod which she returned before stalking out his door. Perhaps he was careless in his treatment of Paaran, but he was not good with feelings and comfort. The governor would be better off with a bottle of drink this evening than his words. He knew that it would be unseemly to drink in the tavetaan to the desired state, but he was certain Paaran and Avela would be at her apartment this evening. It gave him some small comfort that he could at least provide an outlet of outrage for the two friends. It was a role that he knew he played many times behind closed doors.

The vidcom blinked rapidly and began the annoying beep that for some reason Evfra had begun to look forward to. He walked rapidly over to the mirror checking his teeth and righting himself before punching the button. The Pathfinder answered with an angry look of her own, and Evfra was startled by this usually happy woman exhibiting an attitude contrary to anything he believed her capable of producing.

“I am sorry, Pathfinder,” he said startled thinking that perhaps he had forgotten something or perhaps not answered the vidcom in a timely manner. “If I have offended –“

“No, no.” She shook her head and blew out her mouth loudly making her hair flutter, and Evfra thought once again how light and soft it must feel so very different from his own callused head. “It’s Jaal.”

Evfra felt an ‘annoyance’ spring up inside of him at his friend. “If he has done something that makes you uncomfortable, I will deal with him myself,” Evfra growled almost menacingly. He could only remember Jaal’s comment about how ‘nimble’ the Pathfinder seemed, and it was enough to bring an unproportionable reaction to the surface despite the rational part of his mind reminding him that if Jaal wanted to bed the alien while unseemly it was not technically fraternization.

“Has he contacted you since last night?”

Evfra shook his head to clear the thoughts from his head at the use of that particular phrase.

“I _told_ him to contact you, and now he has simply locked his door. He won’t speak with me at all. He keeps saying that he needs time to think – which I understand. We’re just really close to Aya now, and I don’t want to surprise you with our arrival.”

“This discovery – it is difficult for all of us.”

“It is difficult,” she agreed, “but I have a war to win, a people to free, and a home to make.”

Her blue eyes were as hard as steel, and her lips had pulled into a grim line filled with determination. Evfra felt as if his own words were being repeated back to him. He felt his expression mirror her own as he nodded.

“Evfra, can I be honest with you?”

If she had given him time to answer, he would have quickly turned the conversation away from honesty. He had an inkling that these solitary conversations were growing on him more than he wanted them to.

“I don’t understand how you do it. How will you lead your people to fight their families after this? My crew is spurred on by the thought of beating the kett before they proceed in our own exaltation. And the angara… that is a different sort of determination.”

Evfra stayed silent a moment. “I am working on that.”

Ryder laughed a little bitterly at that. “Me too. Me too, my friend.”

“Pathfinder –“

“Can we drop the titles,” she corrected. “I have already saved the Moshae.”

Evfra stood straighter. “Pathfinder, I wish to speak with you more on your arrival.”

She laughed a little making Evfra feel like she was teasing him with her insistence on their first name basis. It was too close and too unprofessional for him to be comfortable. The name made his mouth dry and seemed to stick in his throat feeling a little stifling.

“We will be there in two hours.”

Evfra nodded then offered, “About Jaal. He is… strong, because his heart loves too much. Don’t think of him as weak.”

A small affectionate smile played on her lips. “I know he is strong. I admire his heart. Sometimes I think that you chose Jaal more than he chose to come. Did you send me a conscience?”

Evfra was more jealous of that smile than he would allow, and her perceptiveness had startled him. “He is that.”

“Thank you.”

Evfra shifted uncomfortably under her eyes. “Yes, well, the Resistance has much more to offer in this – er – alliance.”

She swept her eyes up and down him appraising him. It was a look that Evfra knew well. He had seen every soldier look at an opponent the same way calculating whether the fight was worth it or not. He had also seen it in one other situation that he refused to entertain. He only hoped he had passed whatever criteria the Pathfinder was measuring purely as a diplomatic partner.

“I look forward to learning more. Hopefully soon.”

Evfra coughed hiding his face with a hand. “I will await your arrival.”

She nodded and opened her mouth, but Evfra punched the vidcom button winking out the hologram leaving him alone with his blushing mirrored face. He knew that he had not _tried_ to flirt, but the Pathfinder had twisted his words to find a meaning that he was scrabbling to chase away.

 _Really_ , he chided himself, _an alien? Is a normal woman not good enough for you, General de’Tershaav?_

He turned and keyed in Paaran’s serial sending her the time. The governor was adept at last minute planning and had an entourage including him waiting at the docks within the allotted time. Evfra stood slightly behind Paaran letting her take the lead in the civilian area. He was quite lost in his thoughts and more nervous than he should have been. All the fields around him were making him testy especially on such a momentous occasion. Paaran hadn’t looked at him once or tried to touch his field. He knew the anger she displayed earlier was still being held as a grudge, so Evfra was completely taken aback when he heard her address him.

“So she really saved the Moshae?”

He nodded uncomfortably then followed it up with a wordless noise of affirmation.

“You must have been worried sick about her,” Paaran whispered.

“We all were.”

Paaran smiled fondly, and if the smile contained a little pity, Evfra chose not to notice it. “I am sorry for what I said. Evfra, - “

“It’s fine.” Evfra simply wanted it to stop. He knew that he was difficult, but he didn’t want the well-meaning angara’s pity. But he softened the blow saying quietly, “You meant well.”

The Tempest started to descend from the sky, and Paaran breathed a prayer of thanks under her breath. Evfra concurred silently. They had waited too long for this moment to come. The Moshae stepped out of the ship leading the alien crew, and Evfra blinked tears out of his eyes. She waved at him and Paaran. Paaran waved back, but Evfra simply stared at her. His field was welling, and he couldn’t control it quite at that moment from the sheer happiness that he felt.

“Stars and skies light our way,” called Paaran to the Moshae bringing Evfra out of his trance.

The Moshae and Paaran raised their right arms to one another, and Paaran said, “Welcome home.”

“I never thought I’d see it again.”

Evfra had thought that as well, but the Pathfinder had proved him wrong. He looked over at Ryder who was smiling fondly at the two women. Her eyes flicked to his own then, and her head cocked to the side. Evfra nodded at her trying to convey his thanks without words. He was rewarded with an answering smile and a return nod.

“Without the Resistance – and the Pathfinder – I wouldn’t be here.” The Moshae smiled warmly at Evfra and the Pathfinder in turn.

“We made a good team.”

“The Pathfinder destroyed the enemy’s fortress, but thousands of us died in chains.” Jaal’s voice was flat and emotionless as if he were reporting on an inventory sheet rather than on a topic that would normally send him into an emotional frenzy, and Evfra’s heart cracked.

“We have a lot to talk about,” he said looking a Jaal with his brows furrowed.

“I promised to lead the Pathfinder to Aya’s vault.”

Ryder shrugged. “You’re still recovering. Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

Evfra felt her eyes flick to him after the last statement, and he fidgeted.

“Not without our help.”

The Moshae’s clear eyes studied Evfra a moment before she turned to the Pathfinder gesturing further up the docks.

“I’ll prepare the vault for your arrival. A shuttle will bring you to me when it’s ready.”

Ryder was the very essence of poise as she replied, “Thank you, Moshae.”

“We’ve been alone against the kett for too long,” Paaran cut in filling the space with her rich voice. “You’ve proven it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s time we discussed an alliance between our people.”

The Pathfinder’s eyes darted between Paaran and Evfra for a moment. Evfra was in anticipation of her next words wondering if she would agree wholeheartedly or if perhaps the way that he had hung up the vidcom would make it seem like he disliked the idea. He certainly did not. He was uncomfortable with the thought of being along in a room with the Pathfinder hashing out a treaty, but he was not against the idea.

“I would be honored to work with the angara on the terms immediately.”

Ryder’s words were neutral, but her gaze never wavered from Evfra as she spoke. He could feel Paaran’s questioning look between the two, and he needed it to go away.

“I would be happy to discuss the terms – as will Governor Shie.”

Ryder smiled at that inclining her head toward the governor. “We will provide room for your people on the Nexus.”

Paaran looked away from Evfra a bit too slow for his comfort and replied, “We’ll provide an embassy here as well. Our city is open to you. Join us.”

Paaran and the Pathfinder inclined their heads to one another before Paaran walked off. Evfra could feel her eyes and field silently questioning him as she walked away, and until her back was turned and her entourage dispersed, he did not step up to greet Jaal. He looked pointedly past the Pathfinder insisting that he had no interest in her sky-blue eyes.

“Well done, Jaal. Report for reassignment.”

Jaal’s reply was instant. “I need to stay with the Pathfinder.”

She shifted into Evfra’s field of vision forcing him to recognize her. “Jaal has already become a valued member of my crew.”

“Of course, he has,” Evfra said not bothering to hide the disdain in his voice as he looked at Jaal. There was something about the Pathfinder’s omission that did not sit well with him, and he was beginning to see Jaal as something he had not thought possible:  a rival. For what, he would not say. He simply could not stop the thought that perhaps he would be on the Tempest if he had been free to go at the time and maybe he would be a ‘valued member’ of her crew. This was a useless thought, and he knew it. The Resistance needed him here after all, and his cursed sense of duty would not let him abandon it.

“I see the benefit. Request granted.”

He turned in very real anger to stalk off not waiting to hear whatever Jaal was saying to the Pathfinder. Evfra simply walked fast and angrily towards his office not caring if his feet stomped a little too loudly or the populace stared a little too long. He didn’t need a field to be present to accurately project the message of ‘Get out of my way’ as he walked the streets of Aya.

He found Paraan and the Moshae speaking in his office.

“I thought you would be happier to see me,” the Moshae said playfully to the obviously grumpy angara.

He walked up to her and embraced her breathing heavy trying to calm his heart and simply enjoy her presence. It was probably the only peace he would get until Jaal returned.

“I thought you were gone forever.”

She squeezed him. “My child, I did as well. The Pathfinder is a good ally, and I know Jaal is cross with her, but her decision was sound. Furthermore, it was my request – my advice – that led her to make it.”

Evfra squeezed her harder. “I cannot think of that right now. I only want to see you back here and know that this is not a dream.”

Paaran coughed, and Evfra let the Moshae go embarrassed, but Paaran simply smiled kindly at them before uttering the words that nobody wished to hear.

“How do we tell them?”

“I could tell them,” said Moshae Sjefa. “I was there. My account would be genuine.”

“I was going to address the Resistance.” Evfra offered the comment, but it obviously was not one of his favored solutions.

Paaran shook her head. “We are all a part of Aya’s leadership. I would like you, Moshae, to address the people.”

“We need to stand together though,” Evfra grunted.

The Moshae nodded. “Yes, with the Pathfinder as well.”

At this Evfra made a face. Paaran’s shrewd gaze took note of it within an instant.

“I thought that would please you, Evfra,” she said teasing him, and he scowled.

“I simply think that the role the Pathfinder played in the death of the angaran captives may eclipse the necessity of the decision.”

The Moshae considered that thoughtfully watching Evfra. “I will attribute the choice to my own judgement. I believe it will do the angara good to see the Pathfinder standing next to you, Evfra.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but Jaal entered the room at that time. His walk was relaxed and not as hurried as Evfra’s own had been. Jaal stopped in front of the group and greeted them with a nod. Paaran excused herself saying that she would organize the address that evening.

“I’m here for report.”

Evfra glanced at his friend then at the Moshae. She sighed bidding Evfra a goodbye and placing a comforting hand on Jaal’s shoulder.

“Evfra,” she said on her way out, “I do wish to speak with you soon.”

He nodded. “Of course.”

When the door shut, Jaal’s brow knitted. “You did not greet me at the docks. Was it something I said?”

Evfra let his guard down knowing that it would be useless with Jaal’s utter tenacity and pursed his lips. “I do not like losing you to the Pathfinder.”

Jaal chuckled at that, “I am not one to be jealous over, Evfra. No matter what happens, we will always be friends.”

“I know that, Jaal.” Evfra felt as if he were being treated like a child, and he was quick to defend himself.

Jaal tilted his head with a curiosity in his eyes. “Hmm…?”

Evfra didn’t know if he was supposed to continue the conversation or answer some unknown question, so he settled for the safest topic.

“I am glad that you and the Pathfinder have returned the Moshae to us. She would have been a great loss.”

Jaal’s teeth gritted, “Her fate would have been worse than death. I watched the angara walk willingly into pods only to be extracted and made to burn inside their cocoon until their body rearranged. It was torture, and the Moshae… she has seen more. We had no other choice other than to succeed.”

Evfra couldn’t bear the tears that threatened to spill down Jaal’s face, so he reached out to his friend pulling him into a hug. It was something that he didn’t do often, but Jaal was someone he valued more than many others. Jaal’s family had also offered him acceptance after he had been orphaned, though they were not as pushy as the Shie. Of course, they had not been looking to have a daughter marry him either. Despite turning down their offer, Jaal was still his brother for all other matters, despite the rumors that spread throughout the headquarters about their supposed domestic partnership. Evfra always assumed this was more attributed to the fact that a penniless orphan would turn down the governor’s rich established family, but Jaal’s valuable domestic skill had aggravated the gossip.

Jaal breathed in deeply and released Evfra.

“You know of the decision.” Jaal’s voice was quiet and flat.

“I am truly sorry for the loss,” Evfra replied. “To be honest, I was surprised that you requested to stay on the ship after that disagreement.”

Jaal took a deep breath. “Do you think Ryder made the right choice?”

Evfra shifted uncomfortably but replied, “Yes, I do.”

Jaal gritted his teeth. “So does the Moshae. It seems I am the only one who grieves for our people.”

“That is _not_ true, Jaal,” Evfra responded fiercely. “We all grieve, but the facility would have harmed many more than those angara trapped in there. Nevertheless, I wish there had been another way to save them and destroy the facility. The Moshae saw that out of fear, and Ryder made a decision in the moment that strategically was sound.”

Jaal was silent for a moment. “I do not blame Ryder. On the shuttle back, she was trying to be discreet, but she was crying – mourning for a people not her own. She is kind.”

“Yes, she is.”

Jaal looked startled for a moment as he stared at the general. “You have been speaking.”

“We are both commanders discussing an alliance,” Evfra replied straightening and gripping his hands behind his back. “Of course, we speak.”

Jaal’s eyes widened in surprise, “You like her.”

And Evfra cursed his perceptiveness. “I _approve_ of her. Aren’t you giving report?”

Jaal smiled impishly as he gave his report in a professional manner, but he enjoyed watching Evfra squirm as he included details that Evfra was certain were simply to put him off balance. He used inappropriate adjectives at times and took great glee in relaying a story where he and Liam exchanged armor taking great glee in mentioning how the Pathfinder had stared at his naked body. When Evfra remarked that he did not see how this was pertinent to the report, Jaal simply told him with his damned wide-eyed innocence that the angara should know that nakedness is a taboo among the Milky Way aliens. Of course, Jaal was serious during some parts – usually the parts that were pertinent. Evfra wished his friend had not had to see those parts, but he also wished that his friend hadn’t been saying his typical borderline flirtatious comments to the Pathfinder. It was unprofessional and highly inappropriate. When the report was done, Jaal took the recording to file on his way out the door.

“Is your key still in the same place?”

“Yes,” replied Evfra simply wanting to end this day. He still had to speak to the Pathfinder and Paaran. The Moshae had already emailed him saying that she needed to rest this evening and would speak with him in the morning.

“I will cook.”

“You don’t have to.” Evfra knew this ritual. Jaal wanted to be domestic. Evfra refused. Jaal did it anyway. Besides he was hungry, and he had only had the one real meal from the tavetaan, since Jaal had left. He tended to live off of ration bars when Jaal was not around. The very thought had appalled Jaal who had begun bringing Evfra a home-cooked lunch daily beginning the rumors.

“I will cook,” he simply repeated paying absolutely no heed to Evfra as he smiled on his way out of the office.

Evfra called Paaran arranging the address for tomorrow at noon in the main square. Next, he relayed the information to the Pathfinder through an email. At this time, the clock showed that it was 3 o’clock. Evfra stretched knowing that he could stay for two more hours before Jaal would be sending email after email. It was then that the Pathfinder entered the office. Evfra stood up a little too fast bumping his knee on his desk and letting out a swear. She simply raised an eyebrow at him and approached.

“I expect you to take good care of Jaal out there.”

“I will. I’m sure he’ll return the favor.”

 _Not too much I hope_ , thought Evfra with a scowl.

“Don’t worry about him. You saved the Moshae. That earned his loyalty.”

The Pathfinder smiled at him from under her eyelashes, and it was much too sultry for his tastes.

He coughed. “Still wrapping my head around what you found at the kett facility. That ‘exaltation’.”

“If there is any way to help, I am prepared to do it. Even if you just need to talk,” she said, and Evfra found that he believed her.

“Well, it is still doesn’t change what we have to do. It’s war. But… thank you.”

She nodded. “Anytime.”

He thought that surely this woman knew that she was much too friendly with her superiors. Surely, she must know that his balance was quite off at the moment.

“What do you need?”

“Jaal said that you knew where we were eating?”

“We?”

Evfra’s incredulous face made her laugh.

“I guess he told you as little as he did me.”

Realization dawned on Evfra. “Jaal is cooking at my house this evening.”

“Hmm… I am rather excited to see what he can do in the kitchen. Now that he is part of the crew, he will be making his own dinners.”

“Jaal would make a good wife.”

Her head jerked up, and she gave him a quizzical stare. “I didn’t realize. I had heard a rumor, but…”

 _Dear God_ , he thought, _how does this woman collect a rumor in barely a day on Aya?_

“No,” he said a little forcefully. “Jaal is a friend – a brother. I prefer women. Exclusively. Women.”

Ryder held a hand in front of her face. “That’s a relief.”

“Why would that be a ‘relief’? It has no bearing on whether we win the war or not,” Evfra tried to hide his stammering behind a fierce scowl and look over her rather than at her.

She simply looked around the room ignoring the question, though her cheeks were colored when he glanced at her. Her eyes fell on the vidcom and the little yellow paper.

“Did you throw it away?”

“Hardly,” he sniffed. “It would be a waste of resources. You cannot win a war that way.”

She turned the paper sideways and held it in front of her face smiling behind it.

“…What are you doing?”

She turned the paper around to look at it. “it’s a smile,” she said glancing at him. “Of course, you wouldn’t know that.”

He felt a little put out by that comment. “I beg your pardon?”

“Do you know how to smile?”

“I know how to smile,” he shot back sounding more defensive than he should have and showing no evidence to prove his statement.

A rumble sounded in the office and echoed off the walls. Ryder looked pointedly at Evfra not bothering to hide her smile. He knew his face was coloring, and he jumped into action grabbing his rofjinn.

“We should eat,” he demanded more than suggested. He turned around and waited to feel Ryder sidle up to him.

“Yes, we should,” Ryder confirmed.

Evfra strode out the door with a smug grin on his face. If Ryder noticed, she didn’t say anything. Their companionable silence was something that felt easy between them. If Evfra’s heart sped up, it was from the brisk walk. If he smiled, who could blame him with the return of the Moshae? And if he walked to his home accompanied by a beautiful woman in broad daylight, she was the Pathfinder, and private meetings were behind closed doors.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Evfra tapped his finger on his glass of cold water. He had planned on begrudgingly enjoying the dinner. He, of course, did not invite others into his home, but as Jaal was overly friendly and intent on his general harboring positive feelings toward the Pathfinder, he had decided that it was a small price to pay for a decent meal. He had been trying to convince himself that a meal with the Pathfinder was simply a convenient mechanism for him to get a decent dinner – something that his life lacked when Jaal was not on Aya, but he quickly grew tired of the evening. It had started as soon as he set foot into the apartment. Jaal had come out of the kitchen wearing an apron and wiping his hands on it vigorously. Ryder had laughed easily at that saying that Jaal was ‘cute’ as a cook.

Evfra had found that it annoyed him that she had called one of his warriors ‘cute’. They were battle hardened soldiers – not lap dogs. He had scowled meaningfully at the comment, but the pair had taken little notice of him conversing easily and – dare he say – _playfully_. It was all very much too casual, and he did not like it one bit. He did not like hearing them laugh. He did not like her busying herself in the kitchen. He did not like her setting his table. Mostly, he did not like the utter sense of being the one left out of the conversations as he impatiently waited for the damn food to be ready.

Of course, this had little to do with the company and more of the location in Evfra’s mind. It was his house, and he felt that he should be the king of his own castle. He should be the one entertaining and not the domestically inclined Jaal. He knew little about such matters, but he was sure this questionable human food could be easy enough to prepare, and it was no great feat to place plates on a flat surface. Surely, he had at least the capability of being just as entertaining. He would be able to lean close to Ryder pointing at various dishes and speak at length about how they had been prepared and what bit of what it had been seasoned with. He would be able to see her smile and listen attentively – as she should – as he laid out before her what a master he was at building a home. Jaal was not so special as to be the epitome of angaran homemaking.

For these reasons, Evfra had sat in silence watching the pair cluster all too closely at the end of the table than was modest. He knew he was staring at them with a look of judgement in his eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Jaal’s cheek was nearly pressing into Ryder’s as he detailed the creation of this ‘potato’ dish incorporating foods native to Aya, and Evfra took a bite of the food for himself as he tried to tell himself that he shouldn’t care. He should’ve known that Jaal’s enthusiastic companionship knew no bounds, and the personal lives of the Pathfinder and the warrior were not nearly as important as the food in front of him. He let out an involuntary sound of enjoyment as he tasted Jaal’s cursed delicious food. The offending sound embarrassed him, and he quickly glanced up to make certain that he was not heard. His eyes met with Ryder’s own, and a small smile played at her lips. He could not look away and knew that the cold washing over him was coloring his face most unbecomingly.

“I am glad you like it, Evfra.”

Jaal’s voice made him tear his gaze away and regain some of his dignity, although Ryder’s smile still plagued him. He had wanted to entertain her, but his wishes lately have seemed to twist in a way that made the alternative almost preferable.

“Yes. Well, it is edible despite its… lack of color.”

“I think it is _quite_ edible.”

Evfra didn’t look at Ryder knowing that playful grin that he had envied a moment before was shining on him, and he couldn’t bear to acknowledge it, so he took a long drink of water until he was nearly breathless hoping the icy chill would wash away the heat in his cheeks.

“It seems rather… odd that this is a 600-year-old meal.”

“Of course not,” Ryder laughed waving her hand in the air. “Eos has been growing things for a while now. None of the gardens had sprouted prior to the vault reset, but the radiation clearing has made it possible for some things to grow. So we have potatoes now. Not many, but being the Pathfinder has a few perks.”

“Yes, we picked them up when we refueled,” Jaal interjected using ‘we’ more times than Evfra was comfortable with hearing. “The valley areas are being cultivated with low-tech machinery right now, but I mentioned to the Pathfinder that the angara have some machines available that may be able to help for now until the settlers have their own.”

“I don’t – “ Evfra began the sentence then glanced at the Pathfinder seeing the easy smile and bright blue eyes. “I don’t see why not. As long as it’s a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

He shoved a spoonful of potato in his mouth to clog it up, so it could stop spewing utter nonsense. What use had the anagara for potatoes? They were at war and had the supplies to continue without the help, but something in the Pathfinder’s eyes had rendered him uncappable of rejecting the idea entirely.

“Yes! Bradley will be so excited! Eos pioneers haven’t met the angara yet, and I get asked all the time about what you are like. Jaal is like a celebrity there when we get off the Tempest. I can’t hardly tug him through the crowd. They’ll be so excited to know that you will be helping them.”

“Not me specifically,” clarified Evfra.

Ryder shrugged. “But technically.”

Evfra couldn’t believe that he was about to incite the wrath and – even worse – the attention of Paaran for an alien. He had never cared where the supplies came from, a sentiment which drove Paaran into fits of rage that were short-lived. She knew when she accepted the position of governor that he was stubborn and cantankerous and utterly unfit for running a city of civilians. He would’ve turned the whole lot of them into soldiers without a thought about taxes, embargos, diplomatic matters, or something as simple as farming. He was a warrior not a farmer, and for this Pathfinder, he was about to stick his nose into an area that Paaran would have gladly forced him to overtake long ago. He still could not believe that Ryder’s good graces were worth all the trouble. He took another bite of the potatoes cursing at how delicious they were.

“We should discuss the alliance,” she pointed out.

“Yes,” nodded Jaal, “I believe an exchange of resources would be valuable.”

Evfra suddenly felt comfortable again. This was where he belonged. This was how he could justify it. He was not doing the Pathfinder a favor. It was a part of a deal, and he would pull out something in return. Paaran certainly couldn’t argue on the terms then, and he wouldn’t be dragged into managing trade within the city. Life was simpler without unexplained favors.

“Resources and information,” Evfra corrected. “I believe our kett intelligence network is much more extensive than your own.”

“SAM and I have also uncovered some things at the facility that you may be interested in.”

Evfra frowned. He had forgotten about the gifted AI that somehow lived in the Pathfinder’s head. The thought was somewhat disconcerting.

“Yes, well, how exactly do you communicate with your AI?”

Ryder smiled at him – seductively? He wasn’t certain what passed for ‘seduction’ in human circles, but he did not see how a man of any species would think anything other than that when he saw that predatory smile.

“I believe that is classified.”

“I thought you wanted to be ‘friends’,” Evfra frowned at her not acknowledging anything of the sort.

She looked at Jaal in mock astonishment. “Did I say that?”

Jaal’s rumble of laughter made Evfra frown in earnest. He was not keen on letting Jaal or the Pathfinder laugh at his expense whether personal or professional.

“Very funny.”

“Really, Evfra, you cannot expect all Initiative intelligence be open for your perusal,” Jaal said good-naturedly.

Evfra’s mouth couldn’t turn down anymore. Ryder put a hand on Jaal’s arm, a gesture that served to only enrage Evfra’s fragile sensibilities further, but her stern look at Jaal showed an air of command and not that of a companion.

“I was only joking, Jaal,” she reprimanded and looked earnestly at Evfra. “My AI is connected within me. He is based on the human ark, but there is a smaller connection in my quarters on the Tempest. If you’re interested, you are welcome to come aboard.”

Evfra knew that she was only being diplomatic. He knew that she was furthering the relationship and understanding simply as a liaison between their species. He knew she was simply demonstrating how little she had to hide, but a woman does not simply invite a man to her quarters. Perhaps he was not threatening enough? Perhaps she thought him small and weak and unworthy of care? Or perhaps these Milky Way aliens were simply culturally different, but despite his mind’s frantic reasoning, he could not turn her down nor could he answer her. He sat in stunned silence staring at the Pathfinder. Luckily, Jaal voiced his interest saving his general the embarrassment of commenting.

“I did not know that SAM was in your quarters!”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Truly! I have wanted to see this technology, and I thought that I would have to wait until we visited the Nexus.”

“Jaal, you should not invite yourself into a lady’s quarters,” snapped Evfra the harshness in his voice making the pair stop to look.

They were utterly ridiculous. At his comment, they both turned into blushing schoolgirls. Evfra would have found this exasperating, but he was more annoyed at the sight.

“Did it sound like that,” laughed Ryder nervously as she twirled her hair.

“I’m sorry. I did not mean to intrude.”

“Jaal,” she said after a moment, “I would not mind letting you see SAM on the Nexus.”

“… I would enjoy that very much, Pathfinder.” Jaal’s eyes were downcast as if he wished to sink into the earth, and Evfra would be lying if he did not admit to taking at least some sort of guilty pleasure in his discomfort.

With a bolt, Jaal rose from his seat. “I believe that you wished to discuss the alliance. I should get back to the Tempest. Gil has promised to teach me poker.”

Ryder laughed. “Be careful. You may lose your clothes.”

Jaal’s smile came back in full force as he nodded amiably to Ryder and left. When the door closed, Evfra heard Ryder mutter under her breath, “Like he would mind.”

Evfra could not help his curiosity, so he asked, “What is poker… and why would it make him lose his clothes?”

“A game of bluffs. Gil is notoriously good at it, and Jaal is a handsome man. I could see Gil talking him into a bet.” While Evfra was still processing that sentence, she – without making eye contact – asked, “Are angara all so… cavalier about nudity?”

Evfra coughed spewing a bit of his water across the table. Ryder scrambled to explain her question only making Evfra feel more embarrassed.

“He and Liam were just exchanging armor, and I saw them. And, well, Jaal was naked, and he just walked out – and I saw everything – not that I was looking, but I mean he just walked through the whole ship. I mean, everyone saw everything, and I just thought maybe you guys were just okay with that. Maybe?”

Evfra laid his head in his hands and groaned. “I will speak with him.”

Ryder’s hands flew frantically about her face. “No, it’s not a problem. Really. I just misunderstood. He and Liam were doing some sort of cultural investigation, and we all assumed that it was normal.”

“It most certainly is not normal in social circles. With family, perhaps, but socially… Never.”

Ryder paled, “It is my fault then. I had told Jaal that the crew is like family, and – “

“He is a part of your crew, therefore a part of your family.”

Ryder nodded not meeting Evfra’s gaze. He didn’t know how he felt about Ryder and Jaal as family. The thought made him uncomfortable, because Ryder – despite being an alien – met all the criteria that a female needed to become a part of a family, and Jaal while having his own misfortunes was still equipped to offer what was necessary for a suitor to propose a union. Evfra became painfully aware that he was lacking in those qualities. He cleared his throat.

“Regardless, I take it that Milky Way species prefer clothing. I will speak with Jaal.”

“I don’t want to create an issue.” Ryder’s voice sounded terribly chastised, and Evfra grew increasingly unsure of what he should do if she were to cry at his prodding.

“It is not your fault that we do not understand each other,” he offered. “It will come with time.”

“Perhaps Liam is right, and it would be best to ask questions about each other?”

Evfra shrugged, “It will come in time.”

She pursed her lips at his answer. “General, I would like to avoid further misunderstandings of the sort. Imagine if I had mentioned this to the Moshae or Paaran.”

 _I wish,_ he thought to himself but replied, “What do you wish to speak about?”

He could almost see the wheels turning behind her blue eyes and thought suddenly that he had never realized that she was intelligent as well as bossy and beautiful. It was a thought that he should have realized much sooner, but he had been busy noting her other attributes, corralling Jaal, and doing his other routine duties.

“I don’t know,” she said slowly, “but can I ask when I think of it?”

“I don’t see why not,” he grunted trying not to look at her, because the water he twirled in his glass had suddenly become fascinating. When he did glance up at her, she was beaming, and he hurriedly downed the glass of now lukewarm water.

“We have an alliance to discuss.”

She straightened her posture becoming alert – her softness fading. “Yes, we do.”

Evfra was comfortable with the following back and forth of negotiation. It was something he was familiar with and often took solace within, but he couldn’t help a small part of him missing the smile that she had displayed towards him. He was impressed by the hard business side of the Pathfinder, but he was enthralled with the personable side of her and the contrast it brought. It was something that he had never seen in himself choosing to be only one. The vulnerability and openness of the other let him feel his kinsmen’s pity and worry for him – emotions for which he had no need. When they had compiled a list of available assets and possible trades, Evfra sent it to Paaran for her approval with an air of finality. He knew that he needed to pull away from this woman before it was too late. She stood in his door looking at him through her lashes, and every piece of loneliness that he had felt in his life pleaded with his mind to ask her to stay the night.

“Do you know your way back?” His voice was huskier that he had intended, and he hid it with a cough. She tilted her head for a silent moment, and Evfra wondered what information she was receiving and how he prayed it did not pertain to him.

“SAM said that he has not yet compiled a map of Aya.”

“Ah. It would be inconvenient if you were lost,” he sighed.

“It would,” she agreed. “For you.”

He walked ahead of her feeling her fall into step beside him. “For me how?”

“Well, I know where your door is,” she explained. “And there is the diplomacy thing. It would look bad if the high general lost the Initiative liaison.”

Evfra’s smile was hid in the dark, and the crinkle by his eyes felt unnatural, but something about the night and Aya’s chilled mist rising through the streets made his daytime life feel primary. He was living a secondary stolen moment that didn’t pertain to the reality where she was an alien, he was a general, and hostility was mandatory. Tomorrow would be different, but tonight was holding a piece of a life denied to him.

“That it would,” he agreed meeting Ryder’s eyes for a brief moment.


	8. Chapter 8

Evfra’s house was a mess. He looked at the dirty dishes in his sink when he came home and pushed up his sleeves. He cleared the table dumping it into the sink. When the hot soapy water filled the sink, he began scrubbing the dishes and placing them in the drying tray next to the sink. It took a moment before he realized that he was humming as he worked. He normally did the dishes for Jaal when he cooked although not necessarily promptly, but while it was therapeutic in a way, he didn’t hum. Humming was what Jaal did while he cooked. He briefly wondered why he would be in such a good mood, but the thought started to hit a bit too closely to home. He shrugged and dried his hands on a cloth watching the sink drain.

Ryder had turned to him that night smiling. “Thank you for walking me home.”

Rather than speaking he had simply waved his hand in a dismissive manner making that secret smile split her face hinting at promises that he was certain his tired mind had imagined. She turned tossing a wave back at him.

“Tomorrow.”

He had not voiced his agreement, but the sight of her swinging hips traversing the ramp to the Tempest and her words holding a promise had left him with a certain lightness in his step that he would rather not explain. That same lightness followed him through the streets, his kitchen, his shower, and to his bed. He fell backwards on his mattress and rolled to stare out his window from which he half-imagined he could see the Tempest peeking over the nearby roofs.

His comm blinked, and he rolled over to open the email. He barely went past Jaal’s name when he felt the damper come over his mood. He begrudged his friend irrationally, and it lent an uneasy edge to his happiness as if the slightest motion might let it crumble underneath him.

 _She is an alien_ , he reasoned. _She has no place in our city._

He sighed and rolled away from the window, the Tempest, and the Pathfinder. His bright feline eyes saw only the blank wall of his room lit with the Ayan moonlight. With time, they closed, and he rested uneasily.

He rose uneasily as well anxious to return to the safety of the office and his duties. He dressed after scrubbing his skin fiercely. He grabbed a ration bar out of the cabinet ignoring the dishes waiting for his attention. The bar was eaten before he was ten paces out of his door not filling him up in the least.

Work ran as smoothly as could be expected. Paaran was waiting at his door ready to discuss the alliance terms that he had sent her last night. She had much to say about etiquette and emails sent in the dead of night. Evfra turned a deaf ear to her admonishments pointing out that he had little time to listen to her cackling, and could she please simply make the changes in a curt manner? She fumed but resumed her business in a tight volcanic sort of way. It wasn’t until late morning that Evfra actually opened Jaal’s email.

_Evfra,_

_I hope you and the Pathfinder enjoyed your meal last night. I didn’t wish to disturb you. I did indeed play poker. I found it confusing which was why Gil did in fact win. I will try to learn and teach you some time. We need not bet our garments though. Ryder informed me that you were cross about that._

_Liam is an interesting man. He wished to break cultural boundaries. At times, I believe him to be pushy and offensive, but he means well. I remind myself of that daily, for we find small arguments daily. It is nothing to duel over. I now know that the Milky Way species is not as comfortable with nudity as our families._

_I look forward to you and Ryder closing the alliance negotiations. I hope that I have not made things uncomfortable between you two._

_Stay strong and clear._

_Jaal_

_P.S. I really am sorry for making the crew uncomfortable. I will try to avoid it in the future._

Evfra shook his head frowning at the comm. Families would swim nude at times or enter communal baths, but it was not done in society. He would have assumed that Jaal would be more careful, but the way Ryder led her crew fostered such a light atmosphere they must indeed feel like family. He would speak with Jaal today before the address.

His door opened, and he looked up to see the Pathfinder striding toward him. He laid down the comm pushing all thoughts of the night before that sprang to his mind to a remote corner. He rose and placed his hands behind his back. Ryder raised her hand in greeting and smiled.

“I expect you to take good care of Jaal out there,” Evfra said trying to steer the conversation away from something more personal. He noticed the confusion in her eyes.

“I will. I’m sure he’ll return the favor.”

The shallow tone in her voice seemed to make the words more of a formality, and Evfra thought that perhaps he had not been as forthcoming as he should’ve been. It somehow felt wrong for him to hear hollow words from her mouth, so he rushed to mend the situation.

“Don’t worry about him. You saved the Moshae. That earned his loyalty.”

She fidgeted as if she were as uncomfortable receiving the praise as he was with giving it.

“… Still wrapping my head around what you found at the kett facility. That… ‘exaltation.’”

“It must be hard for you – realizing what the kett soldiers are,” she said softer.

Evfra suddenly was weary as he accepted her concern at face value.

“Doesn’t change what we have to do. It’s war.”

They stood in silence for a moment letting the uncomfortable reality sink in until Evfra asked, “What do you need?”

The relief at changing the grim topic was evident in Ryder’s voice.

“You’ve been fighting kett a long time. Any advice?”

Evfra eyed her seeing a vision of her going into battle which gave him a cold shiver. It was not that she was a woman. He had sent many women into battle, but it did not sit right with him.

“Your war’s different from ours.”

Ryder shrugged, “It’s still a war – and we’re not prepared for it.”

“Wouldn’t matter if you were. The kett aren’t a conventional enemy.”

Ryder nodded pressing her lips into a line. “There’s no official angaran military? Just the Resistance?”

Evfra shifted a little uneasily as he thought how to word it. “Lost our fleets and armies decades ago. Kett, mostly. The rest fell to… internal strife. We kept fighting, but our civilians were disorganized. Poorly supplied. Leaderless. Decades of aimless defiance got us nowhere. I had to make the Resistance real.”

Ryder looked around the room a moment observing the hustle and bustle of his subordinates. “You’ve done well.”

The praise made him uncomfortably happy. “It is not just me. I believe that you have said something similar before.”

“Well, wars aren’t always won with numbers. In my experience, battles are won on hope and spirit. It takes a capable leader to inspire that.”

Evfra turned away at the compliment and looked out the window not wanting the Pathfinder to see him hoping that the quiver in his voice didn’t show through a translator. She was intelligent and showered him with too much praise. Usually acknowledgements of his success at leading the Resistance were laced with pity or a begrudging admittance. It was rare that it was laced with appreciation. Jaal had been the only one to speak with him so after the death of his family.

“Yes, I do try.”

Ryder stepped up beside him and leaned on the window sill looking out at the crowd amassing in the courtyard. Paaran had been organizing the revealing event all day. It would be soon time to inform the angara of the truth, and he dreaded having that conversation.

“It is nearly time,” he nodded to the square. “I wished to address my warriors beforehand, but Paaran insists that it is better this way. Jaal’s report has already been shared between the Resistance bases. Their respective commanders will be addressing them shortly.”

“We have a reporter, Keri, on the Nexus. I forwarded the statement to her. It will be broadcast sometime today.”

Evfra simply nodded and watched his soldiers begin to filter into the square forming small nervous groups. There were usually emails rather than formal announcements, but the Moshae and Paaran had demanded a more personal approach. Evfra had not been against it, but the prospect of being berated by so many fields of outrage made a public announcement feel like nearly too much. It was a shame that he did not voice to the women, because he owed his men that much. He would have talked to them regardless in the end not shirking his duty, but it was not something he would look forward to doing. The breeze caught Ryder’s dark hair swirling in her eyes making her blink. Her small blistered hands tucked the strands behind her ears, and Evfra was suddenly comfortable. He could tell that Ryder had led a leisurely life before Andromeda, and it was a point in her favor that she had acquired the red spots on her palms. It was even more telling that she said nothing in complaint. She hid her hands and looked at him self-consciously.

“Shall we?”

Evfra sighed letting what tension he held in his shoulders out with the breath. “It is time.”

Paaran and the Moshae were waiting near the erected dais observing the assembly with grim looks. Neither seemed to be willing to take the first step up the stairs. When they approached, Paaran’s eyes lit. They had known each other for a long time, and Evfra knew that she was simply itching to find something that she could take control over thereby exerting some small amount of normalcy in the chaos that did not belong in her beloved city. So Evfra allowed it.

“We have decided the Moshae should speak,” she said looking pointedly at Evfra challenging him to which his only response was a nod. “It would be best if I entered first. The Moshae will be second, Pathfinder third, and Evfra last. Pathfinder, are there any words that you would like to say?”

“I’m not sure what to say. If there are any questions, I will answer.”

Paaran nodded. “I believe that questions should be directed towards the leader of that sect. The Initiative probably has questions of their own regarding the… exaltation. I can handle civilians. Evfra will answer to his warriors. The Moshae will answer any pertaining to her own position. Is that clear?”

“I will help where I can,” said Moshae Sjefa gently laying a hand on Paaran’s shoulder. “Bridges should be crossed when necessary. Let’s not worry too much about that right now.”

Paaran nodded at her before turning to the Pathfinder. “I will speak to you about the alliance after this. It will feel good to have things settled.”

“I would like that, too.”

With Paaran’s instructions in place, the group walked onto the dais. Evfra stood with his head held high betraying no hint of confusion or weakness. His hands behind his back were his only betrayal. They clutched tight and white as he stood waiting for the crowd’s hum to die into silence. He wished to demonstrate absolute confidence to his men and emboldened their rage rather than their fear. Evfra felt Ryder glance at him and right her own posture. If the situation had not been so dire, he would have smiled. It reminded him of himself when he found his way to command. He had not known how to ask people to die for him or how to embolden them, but he had stumbled his way through correcting as he went – each death from a failure teaching an invaluable lesson.

The Moshae’s voice rang out across the square telling of her capture and journey to Voeld, how she suffered at the hands of the Archon, and finally of exaltation. The faces in the crowd were mixed, and he felt their fields pulsing wildly. His soldiers looked to him seeing his clenched jaw, straight back, and the spirit in his eyes. Their frantic pained looks turned to anger and outrage at what had happened to their people. He knew many were like him – grateful that their loved ones were spared this final outrage – and others like Jaal – who knew someone captured and quite possibly killed their own family. It was too much for some angara. The Moshae played the crowd with her heart, field, and words turning their fear and sadness to anger and galvanizing their will. Evfra was grateful that her presence masked his own field which clung tight to his body. He saw Jaal and a few crew members from the Tempest near the back of the crowd standing grim and resolute listening to the Moshae. He had often thought his life would be easier with her charisma that would even charm an alien.

Before he knew it, the Moshae had her fist raised in the air leading the crowd, and they were filing off the dais. He felt a clap on the back and turned seeing Ryder looking at him with her lips in a grim line. He laid a hand over her own which now rested on his shoulder and nodded at her. Alien or not – in this moment, they were fighting the same battle, and he was grateful for the support. Paaran whisked Ryder away to her office, and the Moshae stepped up beside Evfra eyeing him curiously.

“It has been a long time, since I have seen that look on your face, Evfra.”

“It is a difficult day,” he shrugged.

“That is not what I meant. You are blind to yourself.”

He sighed and looked down at her affectionately. “You would make a fine mother.”

“I am meant for other things, such as leading you.”

He smiled recalling the memories of growing up in the Moshae’s training. “If nothing else good comes, I am grateful that the Pathfinder has returned you to us.”

The Moshae laid a hand on his back and smiled before walking in the direction of the docks. He had valued her and her teachings much more after the deaths of his family becoming her best student simply through determination not to think about anything else, but he knew that he had been difficult and headstrong as most orphans were. He was a child that was stifling himself – something that she would always chide him about. Nonetheless, he had told the Pathfinder that bringing the Moshae back would mean more to Jaal, but he could have honestly said that it was his loyalty that she had earned. Moshae Sjefa was a pillar of angaran thought, and it was not as if his case were any more special than the other orphans of war, but he was glad to have her back.

The rest of his day was spent answering emails over the uproar. He appreciated his warriors that did not warrant a reply, for he was also supposed to be overseeing a scout mission on Voeld at that time. His tasks were spread thin with the strain of the environments growing daily, and he refused to neglect any detail settling for working long into most nights. Eventually, he had done as much as he could and left the Voeld mission with a warrior on the ground. Next, he picked up a datapad filled with stock reports.

A delicious smell reached his nose, and his stomach growled too loudly to be appropriate. He looked up to see Jaal smiling carrying a lunchbox.

“It is time to eat,” Jaal said placing the box down on top of the datapad that Evfra had been reading.

Evfra sniffed the air again before bundling the datapads into a stack and opening the box. “You don’t have to bring me food.”

Jaal shrugged, “There was extra when I cooked my own, and I would like to share a meal with someone. It is awful pathetic to eat alone.”

Evfra’s only reply was a noncommittal grunt. Jaal knew perfectly well that Evfra only ate alone unless Jaal barged in with food. The delicious smells were hard to resist, and he couldn’t let food waste especially when he spent at least an hour daily looking over rationing requests. He took out the sandwich and bit into it. The sweet liquid lining the golden bread contrasted with the peppered meat and spicy red vegetables and dripped down his face a bit. Sometimes he suspected Jaal of making messy food solely to make him uncomfortable, but the food would have been too delicious to complain too much. They finished their meal in companionable silence, and Evfra leaned back in his chair feeling full and sluggish. He didn’t normally eat heavy meals, and he sorely longed for a nap.

“Ryder is with the Moshae right now,“ said Jaal wiping his mouth almost delicately. “She contacted me saying that they would be returning from the vault soon enough. Apparently, Ryder’s SAM opened up some sort of map that corresponded to vaults on other worlds.”

“Does the AI not bother you a bit? Only the Pathfinder can use it, and does it not catalogue everything she sees?”

Jaal shrugged. “It is a strength that the kett do not have.”

“Sometimes when she is quiet, I think it tells her things that I myself do not know.”

“Does the AI make you feel insecure?” Jaal’s voice was even, but his eyes crinkled with laughter.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” responded Evfra vehemently. “I’m simply thinking of it from a security perspective. It wouldn’t do for a superior intelligence to gain insight into our inner workings.”

“Of course. It has nothing to do with how you walked the Pathfinder home last night – “

“She didn’t know how to get to the docks.”

“I also saw you hold her hand at the ceremony today.”

Evfra’s mouth opened, but he shut it immediately as he came up with no immediate excuse for that point. Jaal’s eyes twinkled with mirth, and Evfra knew that his friend’s tenacity would win in the end, so he relented.

“She is an orphan who became a leader without training. I suppose sometimes I see myself in her. Our positions, while not identical, are similar.”

“That is true.” Jaal was quiet a moment as he mulled over the topic. “Evfra, you could be adopted. Enough orphans from this war have simply joined another family.”

Evfra shook his head. “A family would be leverage. I will not ask someone to take that position.”

“As your friend, I worry for you. I know that you do not eat well and that you… refuse company, but I will be gone on the Tempest after this visit. You really should take better care of yourself.”

Evfra snorted. “You would make a good mother, Jaal. I’m your general – not a child.”

“Exactly. And the entire Resistance depends on you. You should look at your health as an obligation with as much importance as your work here.” He gestured at the datapads lying on the desk.

“Every mission is important. I cannot rest and let them sit by. The kett are waiting for a moment to strike. I must prevent that.”

“If being on the Tempest has taught me anything, Evfra, it is that one soul cannot handle the burden of command alone. You must learn to delegate. You have already seen yourself in Ryder. Learn from her as she could learn from you.”

Evfra thought of Ryder straightening her shoulders on the dais following his example. He supposed that the young inexperienced leader may have things he could learn. She had already done him the courtesy of following his example.

“… I will think on it,” he said slowly.

Jaal smiled. “That is all I ask.”

“So,” Evfra said, “What is this poker?”

At that moment, the door to Evfra’s office came flying open. The Moshae’s anger rolled through her field as she strode to his desk. Jaal glanced at Evfra before deserting him taking the remains of lunch with him. Evfra stood to meet her.

“I deserved to be told. You had no right to keep it secret from me.” Her voice was choked with hurt, and Evfra shivered hating himself.

“It’s an ongoing investigation. I meant no disrespect.” He knew she would find out about Vehn Terev eventually, but he did not relish the idea of facing her. It made him feel like a failure that one of his men would even consider harming her. It was his fault.

She was silent staring at him and assessing him. He knew his hurt and discomfort were clear. Eventually, she let out a breath looking back toward the door. Her next words were magnitudes calmer.

“Did Jaal know?”

“Of course not. Neither did the human,” He uncrossed his arms pleading with her to not be so angry and offer him forgiveness. Footsteps echoed in the office, and they both turned to see Ryder walking towards the desk a question in her eyes.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

“This isn’t your concern,” growled Evfra wanting to keep his shame to a minimum.

“It is now,” interjected the Moshae looking toward Ryder. “We need to find the kett command ship.”

Ryder nodded although she still looked stunned to see them fighting. The Moshae turned her head defiantly giving Evfra a hard stare that made him flinch.

“Tell her the truth about my capture.”

“Moshae, please – “ Evfra didn’t want Ryder to know that he was full of secrets, and it was his fault that his surrogate mother had been captured. What would she think of him?

“It may be our only route to the Archon.” Moshae Sjefa cut him off desperation in her voice.

Evfra sighed in defeat. “One of my men helped the kett take her. A Resistance commander named Vehn Terev.”

Ryder’s brows furrowed. “The Archon wanted her knowledge of Remnant tech… but why would Vehn Terev betray her?”

Evfra wiped his brow as if it could rub the confusion out of his head. Too many things had gone wrong in such a short time.

“I don’t know. That’s why I kept it quiet.” His eyes flicked pleadingly to the Moshae. “I’m working to capture him. Make him answer for what he did.”

His voice was faster than he would’ve liked, and the Moshae refused to look at him keeping her eyes focused on Ryder. The rejection sent a pang through his heart.

“You know where he is?” Her voice was dangerous and testy.

“Kadara port. My contacts are hunting him.”

“Contacts,” she spat, “you can’t trust anyone there. They deserted our cause. Our people.”

“And now they’re ruled by exiles.” He looked at Ryder. “From your galaxy.”

He knew the sneer in his voice was apparent, and Ryder didn’t deserve the blame for something that had happened much before her time. He knew that it was his own failure that he was angry at, but it would not stop.

“Vehn may know how to find the Archon – and his ship. We can’t leave this to a pack of renegades and outlaws.”

Ryder clencher her jaw before looking up at Evfra with steel in her eyes. “I need the relic that leads to Meridian, and I can handle my people. Let me do this.”

“I don’t like it,” Evfra said speaking more from that unknown part of him that seemed to arise when the Pathfinder was near rather than anything else.

“I don’t care. The Pathfinder is right.”

Evfra hated the edge in her voice almost as much as he hated the thought of the Pathfinder besieged by the savages at Kadara. He had no power to protect her there. He was not in control. The Moshae was angry, but she was correct. The Pathfinder needed the relic, and he admired her for her drive. It just didn’t sit well with him.

“I’ll transmit my files on Kadara Port to your ship,” he relented rubbing the back of his neck uneasily.

“Our traitor could have useful information. We need him alive.”

“That’s up to him,” the Pathfinder replied without any commitment.

“Be safe, Pathfinder.” The Moshae’s voice turned hard. “As for you, Evfra, we’re not done.”

Suddenly, Evfra felt like the child who had shirked his chores again. Ryder glanced at Evfra, and their eyes connected.

 _Be safe._ The words were on his lips, but all he could do was open his mouth letting silence rule. There was no need for him to say it, but he wanted to all the same. Ryder smiled at him, and her eyes crinkled softly.

“I’ll take care of it, Evfra. Don’t worry.”

“Who said that I was worried?”

He knew that he was being overly defensive, and he knew from her smile as she turned that she had figured as much. That was the second time he had seen that wave and her walking away from him. He gritted his teeth and swallowed. His throat felt tight, and he was beginning to think something absurd. He was almost thankful that Moshae Sjefa was about to put him through a seamlessly fused verbal beating and interrogation. At least, his focus would not be on the Pathfinder in the dirty dangerous Kadara port.


	9. Chapter 9

_Evfra,_

_I do not like Kadara. I see the Roekaar here. I know that you would agree with me when I say that Kadara is crawling with rogues and scoundrels. I do not like the Pathfinder talking to their leader, this Sloane Kelly. Her subordinate, Kaetus, is equally rude and distasteful. Sloane has Vehn Terev locked in the jail in the port. The contact that we met in Kralla’s Song has hinted that he would be an asset in freeing Vehn Terev and returning him to Aya for questioning._

_I think that this is the best possible option, but the Pathfinder is… different around this man. I observed their meeting from afar. He knows how to play women. I mentioned to Ryder that she needed to be careful with him – that his smile is… gilded. She rolled her eyes at me – a gesture that Liam explained signified exasperation. She does not take me seriously._

_I wish that you had used any other informant. The man had the audacity to order drinks and leave Ryder with the bill. Not even you could be that ungentlemanly. When Ryder mentioned it to him, he simply offered to buy her more drinks at a later date. Liam referred to him as a ‘cheeky bastard.’_

_I asked Vetra if this was typical of smuggler, while we were waiting to collect Vehn with the Resistance contact. She told me that being ‘smooth’ sometimes opened doors that would otherwise be closed. This makes me think that Vetra can be quite the seductress._

_Ryder is calling. We are solving some murder cases on Kadara at the moment. At the behest of Reyes. I must admit that I am not certain this is the wisest course of action. The fact that so many murders are occurring is reason enough to forego this wretched place. Ryder disagrees. She stubbornly says that people are people and continues activating monoliths, solving crimes, and aiding passersby. It is rare and comforting following someone with so much heart. I still would rather be on the Tempest._

_Stay strong and clear._

_Jaal_

Evfra rubbed a hand across his chin as he laid the comm down on the desk. The good news was that the angaran traitor was on his way to Aya to be judged. The Moshae had already had the final word on who was going to be his judge. She had gritted her teeth and said that the typical three panel judging team would be fitting, but she would keep her representative seat on the panel.

The informant was another story. Reyes had already contacted him requesting the payment for the operations involving the Roekaar murders which was something that he was ready to provide the funds, but he was not happy with the Pathfinder doing Reyes’ work for him.

He also was concerned with the _quality_ of work the Pathfinder would do if she was… fraternizing with his informant. Then again, it shouldn’t be any concern of his as long as the Roekaar were taken care of, and he only had to pay once. Of course, with the Pathfinder helping, it wasn’t as if Reyes could demand the sum that he usually did.

He quickly typed a correspondence to Reyes stating that he would not be paying the full price, since the tasks that he had commissioned were not necessarily being performed by him. While he agreed with Jaal’s sentiment regarding the Roekaar and Kadara, he pragmatically reasoned that he could not simply hand over a base of operations to them – which was why Reyes was used to monitor and – when necessary – end their activities. At the thought of the Roekaar, his shoulder ached making him roll it uncomfortably kneading it with one hand. It was the only wound that miraculously healed without a scar. He supposed that the inner scars were more than sufficient, so the bullet wound had smugly melted to reveal untouched perfect skin underneath, yet it ached terribly whenever his thoughts turned to places that they shouldn’t such as the Roekaar and the souls filling their ranks.

His comm blinked, and he picked it up flicking the Reyes’s response open.

_General Tershaav,_

Evfra always felt that the ‘General’ was said with a quirk of that obnoxious man’s oily smile as if he knew something that Evfra didn’t which – while probably true – made Evfra’s teeth grind and his canines press into his lips. With each job Reyes completed, he pushed a friendliness on Evfra that he was quite certain he had never reciprocated.

_You had not specified how or who I was to employ to complete the task, so I do think that anything less than the agreed upon sum would not be honorable. Although, the emissaries that you have sent me are very competent as well as fetching and performing their duties perfectly. I do know that you are a man of honor – as am I._

_Reyes_

Evfra clenched his jaw wanting to hurl the damned comm across the room. He had not given specifics, but he had expected Reyes to do his own work rather than using the Pathfinder who was on Kadara in his stead to do his own work. He hoped that Ryder would at least badger the asshole out of some of the money he was getting paid. And what was this nonsense about ‘fetching’ emissaries? Does Reyes think that Evfra sent Ryder to Kadara just so he could strip her with his eyes?

Evfra began to imagine Reyes sidling up for more drinks leering at Ryder until it wasn’t just his eyes that were stripping the Pathfinder, and the way that made him feel angry and uncomfortable stood hairs up on his arms.

He remained in a sour mood all day. Paaran came by to ask him about attending a banquet for officials which she should have known better than to even ask. He had never once put the entertaining area in Paaran’s suite to any use. She had come herself to his apartment to badger him into coming the first time thinking her bull-headedness would get the grumpy angara to drink wine and chat about whatever meaningless drivel they chatted about at soirees. She received a curt ‘no’, and a door slammed in her face. To the woman’s credit, she banged on doors rather loudly and for much too long. This time was no different. She asked. He glared silently letting his anger flow off him and fill the room. His staff left first, then Paaran sniffed and raised her chin swiftly turning on her heel and walking straight out of his office. She slammed his door for good measure.

The next few days continued that way as email after email simply consisted of Jaal spewing his hate for Kadara and the continuing infatuation of Ryder and Reyes until he had the whole Resistance wishing Ryder would let Jaal get back on the damned Tempest. They crept like mice through the office, resorted to emails rather than conversations, and – when he did order food - put his food in front of him like he was an agitated fiend. If it hadn’t been for ravenously ripping through his supply of ration bars, he probably wouldn’t have even ordered – a blessing that his warriors knew. Evfra opened his desk at the end of the week to find that someone had placed an entirely unopened pack inside it. He narrowed his eyes surveying those in the room before shrugging and ripping open another one. One could almost feel the sigh of relief. Evfra did, and he wished he hadn’t.

The Pathfinder had completed Reyes’s tasks, and Vehn Terev was arriving today. He had enough reasons to have a bad day without people’s fields pressing in on him with all their unnecessary feelings. The vidcom blared, and he started. He stared at the thing waving his had nonchalantly. His warriors were more than happy to leave him alone. He walked to it and pressed the green button forgetting to use the mirror this time.

“Pathfinder.”

He knew his voice was harsh, and he knew he should be nicer, but all he could hear in his head was Jaal’s damned schoolgirl chatter about Ryder having the gall to look Reyes in the eyes saying, “You look like the typed who enjoys the chase.” Her voice would lilt. Her smile would part halfway. And since it was a human and not a surly alien, she wouldn’t turn away. She wouldn’t wave at him as she walked away. Reyes wouldn’t be seeing her backside.

Her eyes widened, and she stared at him for a silent moment probably wondering where this venom and anger was coming from. She had saved the Moshae. She had restored two vaults now. She had returned Vehn Terev to him. What reason could he have for speaking to her that way? He didn’t even want to answer that question. It seemed embarrassing and futile – two things that were definitely not like himself.

“Vehn Terev will arrive today and will be judged tomorrow.” He raised his chin and folded his arms as he said it daring her to call out his tone and harsh demeanor.

She chewed on her lip. “That’s… good. I’m sure the angara – you – need closure.”

“Yes, the _angara_ do need closure.”

The silence stretched for a while. Her eyes bored into his own until he felt like he had to fidget. He had to move her gaze forcefully from his own, or he would simply combust under her open guileless face. She looked away first to his relief and shifted to her left clasping her hands behind her back.

“I’ve been working with your informant. He mentioned that Vehn Terev would be there soon. I wanted to be at the trial in case y-“ She licker her lips. “For cultural cohesion.”

Evfra watched her glance at him skittish. _His informant_ , he thought. _She called him my informant._

“I wanted to be there … General.”

Her wide blue eyes looked up at him as if she had broken a promise – as if she were guilty, and he felt silly for being momentarily relieved that Reyes was still ‘his informant’ while he was still simply ‘general’.

“You can be,” he said knowing the words came with thorns.

But she seemed to simply erase the sharp edges as they hit her. Her face transformed into a sweet smile, and she breathed out a sigh of relief. Evfra was off-balance as his words left no mark on her as they did many others. He didn’t know if he should admire her as a brave soul or discount her as an idiot with as much self-preservation as a piece of toast.

“I didn’t know if that would be too nosy,” she explained with a small laugh that did not befit a leader at all.

“We are allies,” he said, but he knew his voice sounded weak with reason. He also unwillingly let a note of hope creep into it as he felt his spirits rising at the prospect of the Pathfinder visiting.

“I wish I could go.”

He stopped. “There is no reason you couldn’t.”

“Well, Reyes says I need to go to a party with him tonight. There’s no way that I will make it back to Aya in time for the trial.”

 _Reyes_ , he cursed in his mind. The name fit badly on his tongue, and he wished that he could wash it away. He heard a shout aimed at the Pathfinder, and she looked away focusing on the voice. Evfra coughed making her glance back at him before focusing on him again entirely.

That was definitely not what diplomats should do. Evfra was not by any means a diplomat, and he knew that much. His cross demeanor picked at the action telling him that he was not important enough to warrant attention. Another more annoying voice pointed out the _Reyes_ obviously was.

“General, I have to go. It’s important.”

The apology in her eyes only made Evfra stiffen more.

“Your duty lies with your crew. I understand.”

And he pushed the button to end the call. His small moment of triumph was brief and unsatisfactory as he prowled back and forth in front of his desk. He couldn’t keep still, and nothing he did seemed to fix it. He picked up reports walking and reading simultaneously. General Hekt needed something again. Eos outposts were requesting weapons. Havaarl was doing surprisingly well with the Initiative science team – something that tacked memories of the Pathfinder along with it annoyingly enough. But Evfra was not settling.

He finished his pile of datapads, made his calls – much to the recipients’ disdain, and stalked down to the Resistance training room to fight his energy away. He trained until the poor angara running the training room sheepishly opened the door for the Moshae. The man wanted to go home, but he was stuck until everyone trained as much as they wanted. It was a rule that Evfra had made to encourage his warriors. He glanced up at the clock wiping the sweat as well as the annoyance with the attendant away.

The Moshae studied him as he walked toward her his chest heaving and his mouth handing open panting. His forehead more relaxed than it had been in days, yet his frown line stubbornly insisted on staying. She closed her head and sighed shaking it.

“You should be home,” she admonished knowing she was a broken record.

He shrugged and took the towel that she held out to him. He simply dried himself off and sat on the step that separated the training room from the waiting area. Her tongue clicked, and he winced.

“Vehn Terev is here and in a cell. You missed his entrance.”

“The warriors knew what to do with him,” he gritted his teeth thinking that a cell was too luxurious for the bastard. He knew it was partially his desire to destroy something at this moment, but he also genuinely hated the man and wouldn’t mind adopting Sloane Kelly’s method of sticking his head on a spit.

“You are their leader, Evfra. They should look to you.” She sighed when he said nothing. “What is the matter?”

“Nothing,” he said standing and tossing the towel into the bin which the anxious angara took with relief finally getting a start of cleaning the training room.

“I am not an idiot,” she said crossly sounding every bit like a true mother. “You always throw yourself into things with this recklessness when you have something on your mind. Do not bother telling me that you are just ‘training’. I know you, Evfra de Tershaav.”

He hated when she said his full name. It reminded him of every time he had shirked his duties under her tutelage, and he was not that child anymore as she was never his true mother.

“The reports are piling up, and I could not be in the office for another moment.”

Her head tilted, and she made a sound of consideration as she eyed him. “I worry about you.”

“There is no need for that.”

“You have not taken a partner yet, and you do not look after yourself. I fear one day you will retreat into that shell and never return to us.”

His skin crawled at the typical angaran frankness. Even now he felt her field pressing at him with worry and love – a mother’s emotions. It had been such a long time since he had felt that.

“We are in a war,” he explained as if she were an idiot. “Why would I marry when I may die any day? Besides I have no family to offer a mate.”

“You are young and strong, yet you lack companionship. I feel that is reason enough. And…”

He wished she wouldn’t say it. He didn’t want to hear it.

“You do still have some family.”

Her voice was quiet – careful, and he hated it. He hated being protected like he was made of fine glass. He was a warrior, and he did what was necessary to keep him strong. She knew that, but her instincts that led her to foster him in her home made her push him towards a piece of his past that he didn’t want to acknowledge.

“My family is dead,” he said flatly rubbing the aching ghost wound.

“Evfra, she may –“

“They are dead.” He wouldn’t look away from her and neither would she. It was probably why she could put up with him for so many years. She was nearly as stubborn as Paaran.

“Regardless,” she said her voice soft but edged, “I can think of a few matches with whom I’d be willing to introduce you.”

He rolled his eyes. He realized the gesture that he had practiced in the mirror after hearing Jaal’s description was strange to his species, and it made Moshae Sjefa’s brows raise in surprise. He realized the mistake much too late.

“Not Paaran,” he said gruffly looking away from her.

“Not Paaran,” she replied slowly, and he could feel the wheels turn in her mind calculating.


	10. Chapter 10

Evfra drank his coffee black – or the similar sludge the angara used to wake. He reasoned that his temporary enjoyment was not worth the calories in either sugar or milk. It was this pragmatism that made his home nearly spotless. The only thing on his orderly shelves was the dust from simply living. The hum of the city could be heard outside his window. It was the day of Vehn Terev’s trial, and he was mentally preparing himself. He already hated the man for his deed, but he couldn’t shake the wrongness of being the final judge. It was his burden – one he knew that he was strong and capable enough to make.

He drained the cup and looked to the window. A large yellow flower sat on the sill. It was his only houseplant. Jaal had brought it home one day, and he had stared at it in disdain refusing to care for it. He remembered when his true mother and he had worked in the garden before his life had went so wrong. While his mother had grown food and his plant was simply decoration – something he pointed out to Jaal as ludicrous, the memories would come back to haunt him whenever he saw it making him almost skittish of the plant. So he watched it. It’s bright yellow blooms wilted, shriveled, and fell. When Jaal had returned to see his gift being neglected, he also refused to take care of it or – better yet – take the damned thing away. He simply inquired after it his big mournful eyes saying volumes about how Evfra regarded this symbol of their friendship until Evfra begrudgingly watered and tended the thing with a care that would be more appropriate for a surgeon. The houseplant was now thriving. Yellow blooms burst all along the single tall stalk, and its lower leaves pointed straight up to the ceiling standing tall and proud. Jaal had never commented on it again but smiled when he had noticed. Evfra didn’t say anything either. He simply placed it conspicuously in his living room window.

He took the plant down now, mixed some fertilizer and water, poured it into its pot, and set it back on the sill. The water soaked down into the cracks in the earth, while he plucked a few barely existing weeds from the wet ground. The annoyance and reminder had somehow relaxed him, but he refused to get another plant. He wasn’t ready for twice the memories yet. He could barely handle seeing his mother’s smile as they sat together washing the vegetables and fruits from the family gardens. He had always loved reaching as high as possible into the trees as if the boy who would always be little could stretch to grow. His mother would hold his ankles tight against the steps of the ladder smiling fondly at him letting him drop the fruit in the baskets on the ground. It was something simple that most angara had done, but it was the simple things that had begun to erode with the war and the Roekaar. He shook his head at the thought.

It was not time for pointless examinations of his past. He checked the leaves for pests before turning to put on his boots and heading to the Paaran’s office. The Moshae, Paaran, and the newly arrived human ambassador – probably the one the soiree was thrown for – were talking animatedly when he arrived. Their eyes flicked towards him. The ambassador favored him with a nod and a polite smile which was much more than the acknowledgement that the Moshae or Paaran paid him.

“Who should we send,” asked the Moshae looking at Paaran. “I believe the idea is genuinely valuable.”

“We can’t,” said Paaran shaking her head. “Everyone here is necessary. Besides there is already an angaran ambassador there. He can meet the Initiative council on our behalf.”

The Moshae clicked her tongure her field humming with disapproval. “If we are invited, we should send one member of the higher command as well. We should know our allies inside and out.”

“None have been sent here,” said Paaran crossing her arms with disapproval. “No offense, Ambassador Rialla.”

The human waved a hand. “None taken, but you are mistaken. The Pathfinder may not be involved constantly with running the Initiative from the Nexus, but she is a member of high command as are all the Pathfinders. They are consulted on matter and issues that pertain to outer problems as well as internal affairs. We have reports from Aya from her, and a detailed account of your status on kett Resistance.”

Evfra’s eyebrows rose with this. If he were not mistaken, she seemed to have just said that the Pathfinder had reported back to the Nexus on Aya’s defensive capabilities. It was not that he wouldn’t have done the same, but he wondered how she had found the time. She seemed to have been with him and running various errands while on Aya, and Jaal had not reported anything of the sort.

The two women mulled over that for a moment feeling that if the command of the Initiative was as Rialla described it may be impolite to not send an emissary from their team. Aya was headed by Evfra, Paaran, and the Moshae. It would not do to have all of them leave nor only one. Their jobs were too important to the functionality of the angara.

“I can’t leave right now,” sighed Paaran exhaling out her nose and relaxing her previously crossed arms. “With the trial and the introduction of the Initiative into our society and us into yours, there are cultural clashes that I deal with daily.” She pointedly looked at Rialla. “We deal with them.”

“I am not ready for a journey,” said the Moshae. “I have students that depend on me, and I am doing much more counseling that usual with the discovery of exaltation. Many angara are coming to me convinced they have killed their true mother, a sibling, a cousin… It is not feasible.”

The women all turned simultaneously to look at Evfra expectantly. He shifted back on his heels crossing his arms. He was being ganged up on by all the harpies. It was suddenly very lonely being the only man in management here.

“There is a war.” His answer was flat to his own ears.

“Perhaps the Nexus can provide a military tour to compare defenses. I’m sure your experience would be particularly valuable,” Rialla offered.

“I can send a commander.” Evfra knew Heckt was just as busy as he, but the commander stationed in Havarl should have a greater amount of freedom than any others.

Paaran winced. “The Initiative has honored us with a high government official. It would be preferable to send an equally qualified individual.”

“I do believe the Pathfinder and General Tershaav are not only equal but on good terms.” The Moshae said the words in a musing voice with her sharp eyes studying Evfra’s deepening frown.

“That is not how I would describe it.”

Rialla paled. “Has the Pathfinder offended you in any way? She had said that she was researching angaran customs to prevent this. I’m certain she meant no harm by her offense.”

Evfra felt all their eyes turning to him – Rialla frantic, the Moshae inquisitive, and Paaran threatening his life if he didn’t clear his blunder.

“We are simply lateral management. There is no offense,” he grumbled sullenly under their gazes.

A small sigh escaped Rialla, and she smiled. Evfra noticed that not all human’s smiles were quite so attractive. Rialla had that fake pasted smile never reached her eyes. She also had no wrinkles as if her face had never been used. He found it unsettling.

“Evfra has been planning to train an assistant,” offered the Moshae clasping Rialla’s hand in what Evfra had learned to be a Milky Way handshake. Her fingers wrapped around the small hand completely engulfing her tiny fingers. “Once that is done, I’m certain he will be a fine representative for Aya. He is the leader of the Resistance, and his expertise is invaluable to the kett eradication. His help and your technology will go a long way to ending this war.”

Evfra clenched his jaw. He knew that he was in no position to give the Moshae any piece of his mind after what had happened under his watch. He would simply need to find an escape at a later date. If she made him get an assistant, he was certain the assistant could visit the Nexus rather than him. His skin crawled thinking about the closeness of all the new aliens. 

Rialla nodded towards the door and said, “I don’t wish to keep you any longer. I know that you have other business today.”

“Yes,” said Paaran turning to Evfra and the Moshae. “Shall we?”

Her jaw was clenched tight, and her brows furrowed. At one time, Evfra and Paaran had been close, and while they were not entirely friends, he still recognized her old habits. She had always made that face when she was about to do something necessary and unwanted. He knew the little girl would always cry after the task was completed and she thought no one else could see her. He wondered if the woman did the same. The three walked out the doors and into the courtyard. Rialla trailed behind stopping at the edge of the crowd.

The same dais was erected in the same square. This place had heard so much bad news the past month. He wished something good could happen here to offset that, but it was not today. A table was set upon the dais with datapads setting on it. Each jury member stopped by their datapad and waited somberly. The cool heat of the afternoon didn’t fit the tense murmur in the crowd, and birds were singing. The whole trial felt surreal.

Vehn Terev was ushered through the courtyard by two warriors holding standard issue military weapons. He kept his head low, but Evfra could see his eyes looking up scanning them. The pang he felt in his chest and the frantic itching of his old wound questioned him. How had his leadership led to this? Vehn Terev had so little faith in him that he’d rather side with the kett.

“Vehn Terev,” the Moshae proclaimed carrying her voice to the crowd’s outskirts, “You are accused of aiding the enemy in the capture and possible exaltation of a high-ranking political official for personal gain. How do you plead?”

Vehn Terev raised his chin with an utter look of defeated anger crossing his face. The worn lines of his eyes were pulled taut against his face as he clenched his jaw and sucked in a breath.

“At the time, there was no hope of winning this war, so I did what I thought necessary for my people. If that meant handing over the Moshae – you, then so be it. I am guilty for loving my people.”

The crowd burst into outraged shouts: “Murderer!”“Traitor!”“Execute him!”

The words swam from angry mouths spread so wide that their canines glistened in the sun, and Evfra felt saddened by the frenzy of his own people. One woman – one of Terev’s mothers – stood with a slack-jawed expression as tears simply fell from her cheeks. The fields flowed over the courtyard infecting those nearby with rage and pain, and all the while, Evfra knew that it was his poor leadership that had caused the breach. Maybe he should simply step down. The Resistance didn’t need an assistant. It needed a new general altogether.

“Silence!” The Moshae’s voice was strong and powerful, and her field washed crystal clear and cold over the crowd quieting them down to a gentle simmer. “Vehn Terev, did you know of the fate that your victim would face?”

“I… did not. And for that I am sorry. I was not certain what would happen, but I didn’t know of the exaltation. I swear it.”

Evfra saw the Moshae’s clenched fists relax, and he felt a surge of empathy for her.

“Terev,” he said careful to keep his voice flat, gruff, and hard showing no weakness, “You are aware that traitorous behavior is grounds for death in the Resistance.”

“Yes.”

“We have read the reports from the Pathfinder, Jaal Ama Darev, and the Kadara port on your confessions,” Paaran said eyeing the man as if he were of no more importance than the dirt on her shoes. “Considering your continued denial regarding your knowledge of exaltation and of your status as a fellow angara, we have come to an agreement that should you have plead guilty to the charges we would install you as a caretaker on Aya working for the people.”

“I am to be a slave then,” spat Terev vehemently.

“You are to serve your people,” growled Paaran, “under supervision, since you clearly do not understand how to do it independently. After two years of service, you will be eligible to appeal for your freedom. Further decisions will be made then considering how you demonstrate your dedication. Do not attempt to leave Aya. Your post is here, so here you will remain. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Terev growled the words as his head sunk against his chest.

“Dismissed.”

Evfra watched the simmer raise to a boil almost immediately. The woman at the front reached toward her son pleadingly only to have her hand knocked away by one of the warriors. The citizens would be angry for a time. They would shame him, but he would be an example. Do not betray your people. Evfra did not think that any clearer sign could have been created.

The trial drained Evfra, so he did something most unlike himself. The weather – as he had noted earlier – was particularly good today, and he had no wish to answer or dodge the questions of his warriors or meet the angry demands of the young recruits who had no idea what a war was really like when actually fought. He could practically see the young men barging in demanding Vehn Terev’s head on a pike like the Kadara outlaws. It was a nice day, and he had had enough of the madness of politics. He flagged down a warrior who warily approached.

“General,” he said eyeing him as if he may bite.

“Gods, man, are you a soldier,” grumbled Evfra.

The man straightened his back and barked a more befitting answer, and Evfra simply crossed his arms enjoying the man’s squirming.

“Cancel the day. Go to my office and tell the staff that I will not be returning today.”

The warrior blinked at him startled. “Yes, General. Any other messages?”

Evfra chewed on his lip for a moment before adding, “Go to the Moshae’s office. Tell her that I will consider the liaison.”

The man nodded solidly before Evfra swiveled on his heel and began striding toward the tavetaan. An hour later he was riding in a shuttle with a fiend sandwich wrapped in wax paper. The shuttle was one of the public travel crafts packed with people – some were already those from the Nexus. An asari sat across from him reading a datapad. Two humans frantically chattered about what they were going to do at their destination. Their words not quite loud enough for him to make out around the wind whipping the sides of the shuttle and the pop of his ears as they started to lose altitude. 

It was a small village and the first stop on the shuttle. It was barely anything. Most of the angara lived in familial colonies. Tourism had declined significantly with the war, so the suburbs had never grown to anything approaching the sprawling metropolis that was Aya’s capital. The most influential familial homes were on Havarl, so those interested in history and culture were not often on Aya. It was the waterfalls and beauty that attracted people to Aya. As he had thought, the asari and the humans were going to the small town as well. There was a waterfall nearby that the angara of the village had open to the public. It was usually used as baths further down the winding river that lazily flowed to the side of the village. But he was there for the falls. The few angara that debarked peeled off the street at various family homes, and the aliens and those remaining dropped off at the irrigated baths, but Evfra kept walking until he sweated and panted up to the waterfall.

He heard it before he saw it. The light rumble made his steps quicken until the blue pool at the base appeared. It was less deep and more wide with low rocks scattered around the edges. He sat on one and pulled out his somewhat squished and soggy sandwich. His mouth was dry, and he smacked his lips together feeling it grow drier still as he watched the water ripple. He cupped his hands drinking his fill before sitting down again and eating his sandwich. 

He hadn’t wanted to come here in a long time. It was where the Moshae would sometimes take the children to play on days when she wasn’t busy. She would sit on the rocks with him, Jaal, Paaran, and the others splashing, fighting, and making disasters as they usually did. It was the walk, the accomplishment, and the memories that made this place special, It was also one of the only places left where he could be truly disconnected from the world. His comm wouldn’t reach here, and the silence was so deafening that he loved it. Even in his home, he knew he could be summoned at any moment to deal with a crisis, but here he was at the beck and call of nobody. It was a temporary freedom that he needed in short doses. He lazily wondered if he could enjoy that more often if this damned secretary idea panned out. 

His eyes closed leaving only the cool mist clinging to his body and the sound of the waterfall. For a moment, he thought that he heard a bubbling warm laugh and bright blue eyes shown on him. Every line of her face filled with a smile as she stumbled out of the water on the smooth rocks beneath the surface. She leaned into him smelling of the kind of wet that comes with a river rather than the filtered treated water of the city. Her mouth opened, but he never got to hear the words, because he slept peacefully for the first time that week in that disconnected little town. It seemed that here where the Initiative, the Nexus, the kett, nor Aya could not touch him he could at least imagine the Pathfinder was secretly and sweetly his.


	11. Chapter 11

Evfra was nervous, and he shouldn’t be. It had been weeks, since he had walked up to the waterfall and had his… delusions. She was coming to Aya today, and Paaran had made a big to-do about it. There was to be a festival that evening and fireworks. His hopes were cautious, small, and persistent. Jaal had continued sending him transmissions throughout the days. He ranted about Ryder getting drunk with Reyes and being irresponsible. He railed about the cursed woman dancing on tables and making a fool of herself. But she had also rejected the Charlatan – Reyes with the gilded smile. Evfra had smiled at that with an air of triumph. He didn’t know what would become of him and the Pathfinder, but he found a glittering satisfaction knowing the Charlatan would not have her.

He had received the news that they would make a stop on Aya last week, and Paaran had started the planning for the festival. She had pointed out that the square could use a bit of happiness after all the nasty business conducted there. The Moshae had nodded saying that the Pathfinder would need an escort. She may have tacked his name on the end of it pushing the responsibility onto him.

He had no reason to be happy about it. The conversations that he and the Pathfinder had had the past two weeks had been curt and a little bitter after he had hung the vidcom up on her. Jaal had pointed out in his letters that the woman had quizzed him mercilessly on the best insults for angara. It was clear that she was angry with him. He only hoped that running her team to death through numerous deadly missions had somewhat calmer her anger.

_Evfra,_

_Ryder is planning on docking in Aya today. She says that she is not angry. I do not believe her. None of them have fields to tell for certain, but she stomps more often. The krogan is the only one that is not avoiding her. He told her that she was ‘cute’ today. It did not go over well. Humans can be quite fierce. Luckily, I announced that I had dinner prepared. I took over cooking after I was no longer a guest. Believe me. It is more of a blessing than a job._

_We are preparing to board the Archon’s ship after Aya. It will be a dangerous mission. Perhaps deadly. I do hope that you patch things up with Ryder before we leave. She will not say it, but she was quite hurt by your rejection. I think Reyes turned out to simply be a bandage that was ripped away too soon._

_I believe that most of the crew was relieved that Reyes was not a permanent fixture on the ship. I share the sentiment. Please consider it._

_Stay strong and clear._

_Jaal_

He had never been good with women. He was short and ill-tempered. His personality certainly did not make up for his lack of good looks:  his slight build and scarred body. All he could offer was status – a status that he would hopefully give up in the future.

He was in the office when the Pathfinder arrived. The Moshae had come to his office to tell him that she had arrived and had caught him looking in the mirror.

“You are handsome enough without primping,” she had said with a laugh as she wiped some nonexistent dirt from his brow.

“I had something in my eye,” he replied with a blush for he did not ‘primp’.

“I have been thinking about matches,” she said squaring his shoulders and looking him over. “You do have many possibilities. Not many still speak your language.”

Evfra frowned. She had not said your family died, so only your distant relatives still speak your familial tongue. She may as well have. Each family had their own small internal language knitting them closer than ever. Native languages speak to the heart more than common tongue, so it was custom to marry the other half of your heart teaching them your language, your heart, so both parties would become one. Familial languages evolve rapidly. He doubted if those distant relatives could still understand all his words.

“I have many options when the time is right,” he replied gruffly avoiding the uncomfortable implication.

“The Milky Way aliens use translators. None of them truly know our language. I believe the Pathfinder would be interested in learning it.”

“I’m sure that Paaran could arrange a teacher of common tongue,” he replied vaguely.

Moshae Sjefa only smiled at him. “Perhaps you could teach her some words when you show her around this evening.”

He only snorted a laugh. The Moshae couldn’t be suggesting what he thought she was suggesting, but it was in her smile and her subtle insinuations. The time of her bitterness had already expired, and she was back to being his surrogate. She smoothed his collar and smiled fondly at him.

“If only your true mother could be here,” she said wistfully.

“She’s dead,” he said flatly stiffening under her hands.

She frowned up at him. “Evfra… I wish – Oh. It is your life. I only wish you happiness.” She patted his shoulder firmly. “Go meet the Pathfinder.”

He slithered out of her arms and strode out the door with a sigh of relief. He didn’t want to think about that today. He was going to be Paaran’s darling diplomat doing his duty. He would meet the Pathfinder. It would be professional, and if it happened to make his heart fast, he would walk slower.

Ryder was standing talking to Vehn Terev on the terrace. He was complaining about how he was the angaran government’s reformed pet. A speech that not many on Aya would tolerate. He was bitter, but that was understandable to a point. Ryder turned away from him shaking her head her jaw set. Evfra nearly smiled. It was much the reaction he had when a warrior brought a complaint to him over it. She looked up catching sight of him. He raised a hand in greeting, and her gaze turned to steel.

It wasn’t like he didn’t expect it. He had wronged her, and she was wary as much she should be. But she raised a hand in return, and his brows relaxed a bit knowing the anger that Jaal had described had subsided a bit.

“Pathfinder, it is good to see you.”

She looked wary as she replied, “Certainly.”

He frowned at the formality then cleared his throat. “There is a festival this evening. Paaran organized it for morale. I’m supposed to invite you. To escort you.”

“Forgive me, General, but you do not seem to be the ‘escorting’ type.”

She had him there. Personality was not his forte. “There was nobody else free,” he shrugged as if it mattered little to him whether she came or not.

“I can take care of myself,” she pointed out crossing her arms. “I’ve killed more Remnant than I could count now and been busy terraforming planets. Besides I don’t really want to stay here tonight.”

He could hear it in her voice – that silent ‘I don’t want to stay _with you_ ’ pointing out all the mistakes he had made until this point, and he became frustrated at himself and her for making him resort to this pathetic groveling for attention that he couldn’t seem to rationalize anymore.

“You’d rather drink after you win the war,” he quipped folding his arms to mirror her own.

Her lips quirked at the corners nearly giving him a smile, and that little success made him queasy.

“At least you know who is going to win it for you, General.”

He had no good comeback for that, so he glared at her until her smile turned into a laugh. It was not the full belly laugh that he would have liked, but it was a start. When she uncrossed her arms, she rolled her shoulders, and he was caught watching the muscles ripple under her shirt - something that seemed to please her.

“I’ll need to tell my crew that we’ll be docked for tonight.”

He nodded. “And I will escort you.”

“What am I,” she snorted. “Cinderella?”

He blinked in confusion at her, and she waved a hand.

“A fairytale,” she explained unhelpfully. “You can just tell me where to meet you.”

“Outside the Tempest,” he said testily stepping forward to press his point. “I will escort you.”

Her eyes opened wide before she blinked at him. “Geez. Sure. You will escort me.”

Her impression of him was comical and a little insulting, but he had gotten what he wanted. He had completed the assignment that he’d been given, so he strode back to his apartment in a cloud realizing when he got there that he had never set a time to meet her. He thought for a moment about sending a message, but his hands were uncharacteristically shaky, and jitters were jolting through his body. He showered even though he was not dirty and cleaned his teeth flossing even though he didn’t regularly. Lastly, he stared in his closet selecting a slightly better outfit. He didn’t want to seem like he was trying to impress anyone, but he wanted something more comfortable than his uniform – something looser. He couldn’t think of any other thing than standing at the foot of the Tempest when the Pathfinder emerged. He looked out the window seeing the yellow flowers swaying in the breeze framing the top of the Tempest looming from the docks, and the hairs on his arms stood up nervously.

He knew he shouldn’t be, but he was. He shouldn’t even be escorting her. She was right. She was the Pathfinder. She had done things much more dangerous than go to a festival on Aya, but the Moshae would want him to be beside her this evening. It was duty. At least, he told himself that, but even he was not oblivious enough to think that it stopped at that. He was also painfully aware that it had to stop at that, so he would allow himself this night with her.

He arrived at the Tempest and stood straight and tall with his arms crossed at the base of the ramp. He could see his warriors casting nervous glances his way, but there were fewer than usual. Most would be enjoying the festivities by now. Whispers and fields told his that while they were wary that their general had come to check on them, they were also curious as to what business he had at the Tempest. His disdain for the Milky Way aliens was a well-known fact. Rather than looking at the Tempest where he wished to focus his attentions, he leveled frowns at the warriors fending off the intrusive gazes.

“I’m underdressed.”

Her voice was embarrassed but edged with a laugh at her own expense. He turned seeing her in her usual Initiative garb – the white and blue track suit with short sleeves. He had not thought to tell her that she could dress comfortably, but a piece of him had wanted to see what she looked like when she was not an envoy.

“It is adequate,” he shrugged. “You will be representing the Initiative.”

“It would have been nice to not be the Pathfinder for a night,” she sighed looking at him through her lashes. “Especially when you are not being the great and mighty Resistance general.”

“I am always the general,” he snorted. “Who has said otherwise?”

“Ah. Well, Jaal said – nothing. Really, who listens to Jaal?”

Evfra cocked his head to the side not mimicking her nervous laughter. It was forced. Being the great and mighty general had put him off-balance, but with her comment, he was more interested in what Jaal had said to her. He opened his mouth to ask her, but she breezed past him.

“So shall we?”

He uncrossed his arms with an affirmative grunt. The Pathfinder had made sure to walk ahead of him to avoid the question. He was sure of it. When he stepped beside her, she didn’t look at him, but her face was red. Her brows were creased together slightly. The walk to the square was shorter than he would have liked. He was also a little perturbed that he did not feel in the slightest bit that he had ‘escorted’ her. With her fast pace, she had set their course – not he. She looked over noticing his frown. When she said nothing, he snapped at her.

“What is it?”

“Ah,” she smiled giggling a little. “I was just wondering if you were actually upset.”

“Actually?”

“Well, you always look like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

He cocked his head at her sighing and uncrossing his arms. His body relaxed. “I do not understand your phrasing. I wasn’t aware there was a ‘wrong’ side of the bed, nor do I think that it would give me a bad day to wake up on it. Also, I’m not truly upset.” He looked out at the crowd unwilling to meet her gaze. “I simply was tasked with escorting you, and I feel that you have led me to the festival rather than fulfilling my duty.”

Her smile brightened, and her eyes softened as she looked at him. It was the same look Paaran had given him all those years ago – sometimes still today, but it never made him shiver the way the Pathfinder’s gaze did. She stepped closer to him looping an arm through his. When he froze looking from her arm twisted around his to her gaze, she laughed at him pulling his arm up until they were linked like a chain.

“Then escort me,” she commanded in a lilting voice.

He jerked his head back to the crowd with a nod and a swallow. His mouth had turned dry. He pulled her into the crowd adjusting his stride to match her own. The unnatural angle of her knees made the pacing awkward, but each misstep or trip whether him or her made the Pathfinder laugh which he liked. He especially like when she tripped putting all her weight on their link. He could feel his arm flex as it went rigid to hold her weight, and it made him giddy to support her weight. The fields of those that recognized him pulsed with curiosity as they passed through the crowd until there was a break near the tavetaan. She pulled her arm from the link leaving an emptiness that he wished he could fill again.

“Are you hungry?”

He nodded stepping up to the counter and waving the bartender over. He ordered something for himself then turned expectantly to the Pathfinder.

“I haven’t exactly eaten a lot of angaran food,” she shrugged. “I’ll have what you have.”

Evfra frowned at her before remembering her earlier comment. “I’m not upset,” he explained hurriedly earning a raised eyebrow from the bartender. “The food is fine, but I ordered a strong drink. Would you prefer something more… sweet?”

She tilted her head to the side. “Can I try yours?”

Evfra nodded a smile playing on his lips as he ordered her a water. He didn’t know if the Pathfinder had done it for his own sake, but it felt nice providing for someone. It wasn’t truly providing, but it would suffice.

He glanced at her hand, hesitated, and said, “Follow me.”

He was not bold enough to lead her to the booth, so he simply turned trusting her to follow. He felt a tug on his rolfjinn and knew that she had caught an edge in her hand. It made him smile feeling the slight tug as she followed him to a darkened table a bit further from the bustling bar. When they sat, he felt the little pull disappear. She sat down as if it were natural. He did the same, but his good humor stayed with him.

“What is the festival for,” she asked her chin propped on her hands. Her eyes scanned the crowds. He noticed that she was watching the krogan and the dark male human at the bar. The male frowned when he saw her tucked away into the balcony table, and she averted her gaze quickly.

“Morale,” he said gaining her attention. “Paaran organized it. We have had many blows leveled against the anagara recently, so it seemed fitting to spend an evening enjoying our successes.”

“I see,” she said. “Liam is doing something similar. He wants to show a movie. Everyone has been chipping in with ideas. That’s what I was actually doing earlier. Shopping. Everyone has ideas. They just can’t seem to walk out and buy something.”

The annoyance in her voice made him chuckle. He was rewarded with a smile that cut his way playfully.

“I agree. I have people on five planets now, but they can’t order supplies by themselves. I sometimes think that is my job more so than commanding an army.”

“I know, right? Then there’s the feuds within the ranks that you can’t seem to put out. If I have to hear Vetra complain one more time about Liam working shirtless, I swear…”

“They need to work out the disputes amongst themselves. A ranking officer is not the human resources department.”

They both smiled at that. Ryder even giggled a little.

“Our jobs are starting to seem more and more similar,” she laughed. “I guess it doesn’t matter if you command a crew or five planets. People are people.”

“That is a strange sentiment about aliens.”

She shrugged. “I don’t see how we’re so different. We get angry, make good and bad decisions, fall in love... Our culture may be different, but that is more interesting than bad. It gives us something to share.”

“Richt tavaa navaal,” he said nodding with an amused half-smile.

She tilted her head frowning and listening – probably to her SAM. When no response came, Evfra shifted nervously in his seat. A young angara approached setting their food and drinks on the table. Evfra nodded his thanks at her hoping the food would distract Ryder. But it didn’t work. She looked back up at him leaning across the table. Her breasts nearly touching the food. He jerked his eyes back to her face.

“The translator didn’t pick that up. SAM says it’s a familial tongue?”

“Hmmm, yes.” His voice had a higher pitch to it, and he coughed continuing, “It’s my familial tongue. My mother used to say it to us. I believe it roughly translates to ‘sharing is caring.’”

Ryder leaned back cutting into the meat on the plate satisfied with his explanation. “Tell me about your family.”

“You’re not getting my personnel file,” he replied gruffly taking a swig of his drink letting the familiar heat flow down his throat and settle in his belly.

She giggled at that. “I just like to know who I’m working with.”

 _Working_ , he thought. _Just working._ His mood soured.

“You want to know what it’s like being me? I wake up every morning to fight a war. I send people to kill and die. If I’m lucky, there are more dead kett than Resistance when I go to sleep.”

He refused to look at her staring down at his plate, so he was startled when her warm hand timidly settled on top of his own which had been gripping his silverware without his notice. He looked at her small strange fingers curling around his fist and slowly raised his eyes to hers.

“That’s a hell of a burden.”

Her voice was small and comforting, and he sighed relaxing. When the tension eased out of him, she pulled her hand back and began busying herself with her food. He did the same not knowing how to follow the soft empathizing statement, and he cursed himself for ruining the mood.

“You know,” she ventured, “my father died when we arrived here.”

“Jaal mentioned that.”

“I figured he would. I mean, that’s why you let him join my crew. For the reports. But – I don’t know – I wanted to tell you. Dad always believed we’d find a home here. I don’t know why he chose me to be his successor. Sometimes I think if Scott had woken up like he was supposed to, Dad would’ve preferred him. I mean – Scott was – is – military. I’m just a researcher.”

Evfra shook his head at her. “Research is a more worthy pursuit than war. Nobody wants to be in the business of war. Besides that, whether by coincidence or purpose, you were the right choice. You should let your achievements speak for themselves.”

She swallowed a bite of her meal and looked up at him. He thought for a moment that her eyes looked wet. She blinked and looked down at her plate again fidgeting under the table. He couldn’t feel a field from her, but the sensors in his own told him where she was.

“Is that what you did? How did you become this mighty leader?”

Her voice was quiet and choked, but she tried to cover it with her usual smile and teasing. He tilted his head back draining his drink letting it fall to the table in a loud smack. He watched the ice clink and the glass sweat as he tried to arrange his thoughts. He wasn’t certain that he wanted to tell her about his rise to power. It wasn’t a part of his life that he was proud of nor a particularly happy tale, but he wanted to be honest with this woman.

“I meant what I said. To study, to learn, to teach and invent… Those are worthy pursuits. My family wasn’t particularly wealthy, so I stayed at our family village most days working. But when the Moshae came, I would beg to sit at her feet and study. I was not the best student – not at first. There was too little time to study on the farm, but when my family… My mother couldn’t contain her hatred. The farm died. Moshae Sjefa took me into her home. I was older then. I studied, but in those times, the tides were turning from research to strategy. Singlemindedness will raise you to great heights.”

He clenched his jaw stealing a glance at her blue eyes trained on him. Her mouth was pressed in a grim line, and she held his eyes steady and unflinching. The sounds of the festival melted into the background, and it was as if they were alone on that little balcony, and the whole of Aya would pay them no mind. Black hair swirled around her cheeks, and he wished to touch it. He wondered if it would feel soft – if perhaps it would comfort him.

A loud boom followed by crackles and pops awoke both of them from their quiet comradery as colored lights blossomed in the air above Aya. The fireworks burst in quick succession in bright blues, greens, and reds. He wouldn’t look at her instead turning his face towards the show leaning back in his chair. His leg stretched out hitting hers. He felt her stiffen then relax, and he let the warm heat where they touched linger. When the colors faded from the sky, they sat like that for a while in silence.

“It’s just dust, you know?”

He looked at her carefully studying her calm demeanor. The waiter startled him a bit when he sat down another drink for him, and Evfra sat up in his chair shifting. They were separated again, and the sticky warmth of where they had touched in the humid night remained etched in his skin.

“Yes?”

“It’s dust,” she repeated. “Fireworks are just dust. It just looks pretty after they add fire.”

He sighed. “I’m really not good with human metaphors.”

“No,” she laughed waving her hand. “It’s a bad one. I was just thinking that maybe you just needed some bad – some fire – before you were what you are now. I think it’s kinda… beautiful – how life shapes us. Especially with you. You’re where you can do the most good for your people.”

He blushed, and he didn’t even try to hide it. His life wasn’t beautiful, but when she said it that way, it started to seem fitting – not right or just – simply fitting, and he felt for a moment that he belonged in the Resistance, in the age of the Milky Way, and maybe even at this table.

“It’s stupid, huh?”

“No. It’s… nice.” He looked at her then quickly back down to his drink. “But you should pick a better metaphor. That was even bad for Milky Way standards.”

“And you could do better,” she huffed, and he could see that she was pretending to be angry. Her pantomime made him want to smile, but he simply clicked his tongue and raised his chin haughtily.

“If I felt like it.”

“Well, I believe someone promised me a sip of that drink.”

He held out his hand gesturing for her to take a sip. She picked it up and sniffed it. A single eyebrow raised at him, and he widened his eyes at her as if to insist she go ahead. She did. She swallowed it and made a face.

“I see why you never smile,” she said between gulps of water.

He shrugged. “It helps.”

“So you do have a sense of humor,” she gasped.

He raised his glass in a mock toast to her. “Only when I’m not drinking.”

She laughed rising from her seat and leaning over the table toward him with a look on her face that reminded him of a sly predator. A look that he was more fond of than he would like to admit, but his body was doing that for him. He gulped thinking that he was glad in this moment that she had not dressed for the occasion.

“I expect that you will escort me the next time I’m on Aya,” she asked nonchalantly. “Sober, of course.”

He didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the night air that inspired him, but he leaned towards her relishing the surprise on her face letting his field lick out towards her.

“Gladly,” he growled.

She turned red almost immediately and leaned back suddenly all business.

“Then next time.”

He leveled his gaze at her. He wanted to say for her to be careful, but he couldn’t get the words out of his throat. The acknowledgement of the danger ahead of her held no place in this night of festivities, but he had to say something. He had to let her go to her destiny as he had to go to his, so his voice nearly broke in his next words.

“When you return to Aya…” He swallowed. “We will speak again. Stay strong and clear.”

She nodded, and he wondered how this small creature could inspire so much fear and hope simultaneously. He wondered why the thought of her leaving to board the Archon’s ship made his soul feel so cold. He watched her walk away again that night leaving with the dark human that glared at him with his lips pursed, but she also looked back over her shoulder their eyes connecting one last time, and he knew. He knew that he had to see her again – that she had to come back, and selfishly he knew he cared little for the galaxy at that moment and solely for himself.

 


	12. Chapter 12

_“Ship docked. All passengers free to disembark.”_

Evfra looked up from his datapad. He had taken a shuttle that was transporting some civilians to the Nexus. Paaran and the Moshae were adamant that he should go, and he thought that the trip would help him take his mind off of everything. He wondered how the Pathfinder’s mission had went. Jaal had simply said that they had succeeded. They had found all three Milky Way arks now. But the way that Jaal had danced around the topic left him uneasy. He reread Jaal’s most recent message once more as he waited for the boarding port to clear.

_Evfra,_

_The salarian ark was connected to the Archon’s ship. They are close to exalting some of the Milky Way species. Ryder survived and retrieved the relic. I was not on the mission, so I do not know the specifics. Ryder would be more apt to inform you about what she saw and what happened on the ark. I do not wish to say more. You should speak to Ryder about it in person._

_She would’ve been on Aya sooner, but the Moshae has informed me that my family has joined the Roekaar. She offered her assistance. I accepted. I’m sorry that I am taking time away from the main mission, but it is more important. We will go to Havarl first. Please understand. I must make preparations._

_Stay strong and clear._

_Jaal_

Evfra didn’t blame him. Jaal had always been attached to his family – as was fitting, and Evfra thought well of Ryder to offer assistance. Jaal might as well be his own blood, and he wished the best for him. He only wished that Jaal would’ve asked for his help instead. He wrote a brief message offering any assistance he could by way of transporting Jaal’s family or weapons on Havarl. Jaal was his brother. If he couldn’t physically be there, he would offer what he could.

He stepped out into the light of the Nexus. The air was dry here, and the artificial sun seemed real enough. He was impressed. The Initiative had done well to create an environment where there was none. From this technology, he couldn’t see why they thought terraforming was so very extreme.

“General de’Tershaav, we heard you were arriving. It is an honor to meet you. I am the Director and can answer any questions that you have.”

The high nasaly voice came from an alien that he had not seen before. It was probably a salarian. The man’s amphibious skin and large soulful eyes looked as if they should be the least threatening of the group, but the presence of the man made his skin crawl and his field prickle. He had been threatened by Paaran to be on his best behavior, but he had never been one to listen to Paaran. Evfra clenched his jaw thinking that she should’ve come herself if she hadn’t wanted him to screw things up. But he didn’t have to speak. A krogan, a turian, and the angaran ambassador walked up to stand directly beside the salarian who sniffed at their intrusion.

“Tann, you did not tell us that we were expecting a guest,” said the krogan her gravelly voice making Evfra wonder if she were threatening the salarian or simply speaking.

The ambassador approached putting up his arm for an angaran greeting. Evfra responded in kind.

“General de’Tershaav. Kallal de’Damal, Ambassador. I do not believe we have met.”

The man was formal without being friendly. Evfra immediately liked him. He assumed this man was chosen specifically for this puzzling dichotomy of likability and guardedness. It unnerved him a bit, but he simply nodded firmly at the man in greeting.

The turian stepped forward. “Kandros, Military.”

Curt and to the point. Evfra warmed to this familiar territory.

“Well,” Tann said dismissively stepping out in front of the others gathered at the docks, “if there is anything that I can help you with, do not hesitate to ask. After all, we must work together to survive.”

Evfra crossed his arms. “With all due respect, the angara are already surviving in this galaxy.”

“Of course.” The salarian sounded like he was humoring him, and Evfra already lacked a sense of humor under normal circumstances. “Do not hesitate to ask me anything. I will be in the Pathfinder’s hall.” He nodded toward the krogan and turian. “Carry on.”

The silence was deafening when the salarian walked away. The remaining individuals did not seem pleased with their superior. A beep sounded, and the ambassador looked at his comm.

“I have a meeting,” he apologized. “I will be in the cultural center, General.”

Kandros stepped forward to fill the gap. “I assume a military man would like to talk defenses.”

Evfra nodded. “That would be good. We need to be ready to meet the kett.” He looked to the krogan. “I believe that I missed your name.”

“I was… interrupted,” she said looking meaningfully to where the Director had disappeared. “I’m Kesh. Research. We’re actually a council.” She sighed. “You have access to all of our databases. Well, you boys have big plans to discuss. If you need me, I’ll be in my office.”

Evfra nodded. The krogan was a female and still intimidating. The slimy Director was awfully brave to test her. In a duel, Evfra had no doubts as to who would win. When she returned the nod, he looked to Kandros.

“Defenses.”

Kandros nodded. “And offense.”

Evfra grinned. He thought they would get along nicely, and they did. The tour was easily interesting. The turian ran ground missions constantly showing him his platform. The software would make running missions from his office much easier. Kandros also had a complex network of personnel that managed rations and weapons. If Evfra took nothing away from this, he was going to take the software that gave this turian enough free time to give him a tour of the facilities.

“What do you think?”

Kandros was standing with him on the bridge looking out over the city, and Evfra didn’t know what to think. With each ark, the Nexus seemed to sprout more weapons – become more defensible. Offense was also very strong as Kandros had pointed out smugly as the battery stations along the rim.

“Impressive.” It was what he came up with. It certainly was not wordy, but Kandros could tell from the way the surly general’s face had become less and less disgruntled that he was enjoying their adventure.

“How is your front?”

Evfra’s mouth quirked up at the corners. “Impressive,” he repeated.

Kandros made a rumbling noise that Evfra recognized as a laugh after a minute. He was getting more used to the myriad of sounds from the Milky Way. Each species was unique yet also similar. He assumed it was a side effect of living in such close quarters for so many millennia.

“Are we the second contact?”

Evfra nodded. “So far I am preferring this one.”

“Must be difficult. We’ve been surrounded by different species our whole lives.”

“Like humans?”

“They’re the most recent, but they do make an impression.”

“That they do.” He watched a woman working diligently at a screen. She had cropped brown hair and was biting her lip. He noted that it did not give him the same shivers the Pathfinder did.

“It must be so strange,” Evfra remarked, “having all that hair on one’s head. It seems like it would get in the way of battle.”

“I say the same thing,” Kandros chuckled. “Proper warriors don’t have distractions, but it’s something they like. If you want to know more about us, there is a vid database here. I wouldn’t mind giving you a copy.”

Evfra didn’t know what to say, so he simply nodded and followed Kandros to the coputer. The turian explained to a tech what he wanted, and the tech scurried away. This militia commander was someone to be admired in Evfra’s opinion. His subordinates innately recognized his power and did his bidding without question. It was all-in-all a smooth operation.

“It will be loaded onto your shuttle,”Kandros explained handing Evfra a slip of paper with his order and dock number printed on it. “I hope it helps. It’s got some good entertainment. I’m partial to the history section personally.”

“Paaran will love this.”

“Got a lady back home? There’s some romance films on there too.”

Evfra snorted, “No. Just a governor.”

Ah. A _Director_.”

“Not so bad as that,” Evfra replied. He wasn’t certain if he would be a bad representative if he elaborated on that comment.

Kandros shrugged as they stepped onto the tram. He pressed the button for the docking bay. “I hope not. Tann – he’s difficult. We _are_ equals, but he tends to think the decisions are his own. Really, feel free to ask me or Kesh anything. Tann is supposed to be the political man, but we can help as well.”

“I never liked politicians. It would be so much simpler to be blunt.”

Kandros nodded and looked at the clock. “I know that you only planned on staying the day, but I really can get a room for you. I’d even take you out for drinks tonight. It’s not often I get to talk to someone who knows his way around a gun and isn’t scared of offending a superior.”

Evfra grimaced. He like Kandros truly, but Aya was where he was needed.

“I have a war to win.”

“I know how that is,” he sighed. “I’m just glad Ryder didn’t actually die. We almost lost another Pathfinder.”

Evfra started at that his back stiffening. “Ryder died?”

“Not really. She came back. Apparently, the AI did something to kill her then brought her back to life. There was a big stink about it in the anti-AI factions.” Kandros tilted his head quizzically. “I thought you would’ve known.”

“I should’ve.” Evfra didn’t bother to hide the anger in his voice. “Could I use a vidcom here to connect to the Tempest?”

Kandros nodded. “The one in the Pathfinder hall connects directly to the Tempest, although Tann is there.”

Evfra grimaced. He didn’t want the overbearing Director listening in to his conversation. He was pretty certain that neither Ryder nor Jaal would appreciate that as well. He turned the idea over in his mind tapping his foot and clenching his jaw. It was a long journey back to Aya, but surely this ridiculous woman couldn’t manage to die again during the ride. Or would she? The very thought made him more anxious than he wanted to admit, so he chose to believe the former.

“It can wait,” he growled not even bothering to conceal his disapproval.

“If you’re looking to occupy yourself, might I suggest a vid on the trip?”

Evfra took Kandros up on the offer accepting a small memory card and an adapter between angaran and Initiative technology from one of the stores. When he offered to pay for it, Kandros had waved him aside impatiently saying that he only expected a couple beers when he came to check on Aya’s defenses. A trade Evfra was happy to make. He had been suspicious of the Milky Way aliens, and while some were distasteful, he had found others that he quite enjoyed.

He boarded the shuttle that seemed more like a storage facility than a personnel transport. All the bodies inhabiting it had seemed to be replaced with crates containing Nexus goods. Paaran would be happy that her economic treaties were doing well. It was a job for which he had no patience. He flicked on the datapad and thumbed through the movie database. He wasn’t certain how to look up human movies. It seemed all the races were simply bundled and packaged equally with interspecies liasons being frequent, so he scrolled until he saw a human male on a cover. The man had dark eyes and a square jaw. He briefly wondered if this was the human version of handsome? If so, he was certainly not dark with his blue skin flecked with white, but he clicked on it anyway. The vid did not calm him, but he knew that he was stuck on this transport and focused.

The man was strong and muscled. His arms swung wide like a fiend as he tossed the enemy gang members over his shoulders and squeezed off shots that would never be life-like. A culture that had started being shaped by war such as the angara would immediately notice all the combat pitfalls of such a feature, so combat vids had become increasingly unpopular in the last years. They hit a little too close to home. But Evfra had lucked out. The heroine was a human female. She was fair unlike Ryder. She was dainty and had yellow hair that shone like the sun. Apparently, the gang had imprisoned her, and the hero’s main mission was to free her. It was all very lost on the gruff angara who thought this man a bumbling beautiful idiot and the woman a simpleton. He would rather see a recruit toss the sculpted man out of the training ring than simper and purr at him. But then again, Paaran had always said that he was a cynical ass which was partially why they hadn’t ever reached the idyllic matrimonial culmination their parents had wished.

After much too long watching vids, Evfra felt the shuttle dock at Aya. It was still barely daylight there, and he hurried to his office frantically pushing the vidcom. It rang over and over as he paced in front of it. He couldn’t sit still any longer. Ryder’s face barely blinked on the screen when Evfra released all his worries on her in the form of rage.

“What is this I hear about you dying? Am I not your partner? Should you not keep me informed on such matters as your life?”

“Evfra, I didn’t know you cared.” He knew she was trying to laugh it off and mock him, but that only served to fuel his tirade.

“Gods and spirits! Of course, I care! I do not want to learn from a mere acquaintance that you have died!”

Her eyes opened wide as he stood there fuming and glaring. He looked every inch the pissy general that his subordinates had come to expect.

“I was busy. With Jaal. On Havarl.”

“And you couldn’t spare a single message?”

“Evfra, look. I’m alive, okay? I did what I had to do to escape the Archon. I _survived_.”

She gestured at her body showing that she was intact, and he studied her. He had to admit she had faced a great foe and – yes – survived. He knew he was really not angry. He was simply worried that she had been taken away from him, and it was silly. She was not even his, and he was overstepping his bounds has a work acquaintance – a contact – by letting himself get so attached. Anyone could be lost in this war. It was one reason he maintained a distance from all.

“Yes,” he said clenching his fists, “you are alive. I apologize. I simply… didn’t want to rebuild the alliance with someone else. It would be a shame to lose someone as competent as you.”

Her eyes narrowed, and he knew from the way she pursed her lips that she was angry with him. “Really.”

“Of course, Pathfinder.”

Her silence stretched, and Evfra felt like a scolded child. He had embarrassed himself and gotten too worked up over something that shouldn’t matter to him. She had every right to be angry at him.

“I was happy you were worried about me,” she ventured, “but if it’s just because I’m the Pathfinder, I understand.”

He bit his cheek making a decision. His voice stuck in his throat giving it a gravelly sound. “Perhaps I see you as more than the Pathfinder.”

He crossed his arms daring her to say more. It made his admittance seem like more of a challenge than a confession. That’s what he always was – a challenge. Paaran and Moshae Sjefa reminded him of it to his face – one with anger and one with love. Jaal said as much with his motherly tendencies as he made luch and cleaned caring for Evfra like some sort of sour child. And even in love, he was difficult as he stood there daring Ryder to accept him. He was becoming impatient watching the smile play at her lips threatening to mock him in his vulnerability.

“Smile, Evfra,” she said in a soothing voice. “I don’t bite.”

He sniffed not deigning to answer her. Her smile lines filled out, and she laughed at him making his face color brilliantly.

“I’m glad we’re friends.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Are we?”

She hummed and spoke in a question as if she weren’t certain of the answer. “Is that what the mighty general wants? If he did, I think he’d call me something other than ‘Pathfinder’.”

He rolled his eyes at her. “Are you really well?”

She nodded. “Dr. T’Perro says that I can finish the mission on Havarl whenever I wish. Although, she’s pissed about SAM.”

Evfra was pissed about SAM. He could take comfort that at least someone was scolding the Pathfinder for her idiotic stunts – stunts that worked and would only embolden her suicidal behavior. She looked off to the side. Jaal came into view behind her.

“Pathfinder, the shuttle is ready. I would like to leave as soon as possible.” Jaal looked up noticing Evfra for the first time.

“I’ll get ready.” She turned to Evfra reaching for the disconnect.

“Wait, Ryder. I wish to speak to Jaal.”

She nodded. “Stay strong and clear.”

He returned it, and the two angara watched her walk purposefully away. Jaal’s view was decidedly more extensive to his own, and Evfra coughed to break his gaze.

“The Roekaar.”

“Yes, my mothers have told me that is where they are. I can’t let them join. I know that you hold the same disdain as I for them.”

Evfra nodded. “If I can help at all, I will.”

“You have helped enough with the weapons and armor. It is up to me now… and Ryder.”

“It is dangerous to bring her there.”

“She offered,” he shrugged. “And with all due respect, you have not seen her in combat, Evfra. She’s beautiful as well as dangerous.”

He didn’t like Jaal’s lingering gaze, and he certainly didn’t like his comments.

“Richt tavaa naval,” said Jaal making Evfra pale. “I didn’t recognize it at first. It wasn’t common tongue. She said you taught it to her. I don’t think she knows the significance of it.”

“Did you - ?”

“No, I didn’t tell her, and you don’t have to worry. I would be happy to see you with someone, Evfra. But – “ Jaal raised his eyes with a challenge lingering in them, and his voice matched. “If you hesitate, I will be ready to fill in the gap – so to speak.”

“That is against Resistance code,” growled Evfra.

Jaal chuckled. “When have you ever intimidated me, Evfra?”

“Bring her back alive.” Evfra’s eyes were narrowed dangerously, and he felt his field hum around him. For once, he was not grateful the vidcom did not translate his field. The venom in it would back up his sentiment quite well.

“For you and for me,” Jaal replied.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suffered from writer's block this weekend, so it's a bit late. I hope you enjoy the start of Evfra's loyalty quest. I'm having difficulties suddenly when it's time for them to get a little fluffy. Please let me know what you think, because I'm hoping I didn't screw it up.

Evfra was unhappy. After Jaal’s outright declaration, he had been feeling unsettled. He was uneasy and jealous, and the obvious success of their mission had not helped things. He was glad Jaal’s family was safe. That wasn’t the point. The damned Roekaar leader had been parking himself in the Resistance headquarters and following Moshae Sjefa around like a lost puppy ever since his position had become obsolete. It irritated him to no end every time he spotted Akksul rounding a corner. The man was a snake in the grass, and Evfra half-believed that he wouldn’t have turned himself in if his followers hadn’t simply told him to go to hell after Jaal’s little display. It was the talk of the headquarters. Ryder had a gun trained on the vagrant when Akksul fired at point blank range and missed Jaal. Some reports also reported a grievous wound, but Jaal had messaged him afterward saying they now had matching scars. Some reports also stated that Ryder flung herself into Jaal’s arms and nursed him back to health. Evfra had decided some people were mindless gossips.

To make matters worse, he had received another message the same day. The mother that he had killed in his mind and heart had written him, and he couldn’t quite read it for the past two days. It lurked in his mailbox as if it were reaching out and tugging on him. It was from his mother. He had thought of her as dead for so long that he was not quite ready to think of her as alive again. His shoulder ached at the very thought of it. He tried training and burying himself in his work, but it wasn’t nearly as effective with this assistant that the Moshae had trained. The man – thankfully it was a man – was almost too capable. Evfra ended up with more time on his hands than he knew what to do with. This resulted in him training more, and it was ultimately what landed him in the Resistance medbay.

The doctor even had the audacity to look at him crossly as if he were at more of an inconvenience than Evfra was. He had his wrist wrapped and was told to not shoot or fight at all. This left him in a worse mood than usual. The little blinking light on his comm pestered him and reminded him every second of the waiting email. The Moshae had even inquired about the light. She had not been pleased when he simply glossed over it, and he had a sneaking suspicion that the Pathfinder had been sent to his office that day simply to inquire after the blinking light the next time the Tempest docked.

She knocked on his door with a smile, and he had not been prepared to see her at all. He scrabbled up from his desk leaning too heavily on his injured wrist with a curse. Her immediate concern crossed her face as she walked briskly to his desk.

“Evfra –“

“Really, it’s nothing,” he said cutting her off. “The physician thinks I’m much more fragile than I am. I’d like to see him in the training ring one day.”

She shook her head at him. “Really, Evfra. And you chewed me out about dying?”

He snorted. “Do I need to point out how completely different that is?”

She laughed a bit taking his hand in her own. If she noticed him go rigid, she showed no sign of it.

“Does it hurt?”

“Not really,” he murmured watching her eyes scan the wrapping. He didn’t know when they had become friends that touched each other, but he was glad it happened. The only way he was getting to hold a girl’s hand was if it was injured.

“Well,” she said looking up at him, “the Moshae said that I should come check in on you. I suppose this is what she meant?”

Evfra knew perfectly well what the Moshae meant, and it was certainly not his barely sprained wrist. His eyes flicked to the blinking comm light before he realized it. The Moshae was interfering again. The woman was infuriatingly open with her love and well wishes for him, and he could only be grateful Ryder didn’t feel it.

“Shouldn’t you get that,” she asked nodding at the comm.

He snatched his hand away but not in time to keep his field from shocking the Pathfinder who yelped and looked angrily at his hand. He felt bad for only a moment before the look of indignation settled comfortably on her face. He couldn’t help letting his chuckle escape.

“So that’s how it is? You get off on hurting me?”

“I apologize, Sara,” he rumbled feeling the hum run all the way into his belly.

She puffed her cheeks out and looked away from him. “At least I made you laugh. By the way, are you busy?”

“I’m always busy,” he said tilting his head.

“Fine. Then I’ll ask Jaal,” she huffed turning on her heel.

At the mention of Jaal, Evfra remembered the challenge, and he leaned across the desk grabbing her forearm looking more desperate than he wanted. She looked back at him in surprise, and he straightened smoothing down his shirt nervously. His fingers twisted the ends of the fabric roughly. He was not good with initiating social gatherings, and he knew it showed.

“I’m going to the tavetaan. If you’re hungry…”

She looked him up and down. Her gaze stopped and rested on his hands gripping his shirt, and he was suddenly more embarrassed than he had ever been. He strode out from behind his desk to the door. When he heard no footsteps, he glanced back to see her standing with her arms crossed and a smile on her face.

“Are you coming or not,” he growled.

“You are such a veshanaan,” she scoffed but kept her smile as she walked to join him.

The pair selected a secluded table on the balcony again. A large palm stretched over top of the table adding a little shade on one side. Evfra seated himself in the shade, and she stopped and looked at him for a moment before walking around to his side and pulling the chair roughly beside him. She sat in it and placed her arms on the table without so much as a glance in his direction. He knew that she should be sitting on the other side keeping her distance, but he liked feeling her close and would be lying if he said that he hadn’t planned the arrangement. Their backs were to the small garden, and they could look out on the others seated around them. He was pleased to see that none of them were his own warriors.

“Evfra…” Her voice had a wandering quality as she propped her chin on her elbows and looked up through her lashes. He turned copying her.

“Sara.”

Her eyes went to the blinking comm light on his forearm, and he put his arms down rapidly turning to look out over the balcony. His jaw worked as he chewed on his lip. He didn’t know how to breach the subject of the light at the moment, and he wondered what Ryder would think of his predicament. He had told her before that his family was dead and gone, and he was certain that she would not take having been lied to well.

“You’ve said that your father died upon reaching Andromeda. What was he like?”

She made a face and sat up straight. “So you’re prying. Any particular reason?”

He shrugged and simply sat silent until she sighed and gave into his request.

“Dad was obsessed with his work before we left. It was all very secretive. I’m just now finding out what it all really meant. He built a sort of quest into SAM. It unlocks memories of his as I grow into the Pathfinder role. I’m not sure how to explain it.”

Evfra watched her twirl her glass for a moment leaning his chin on his hand. She bit her lip and didn’t look at him. Her father must’ve been a brilliant man to design such a system, and he imagined that it would be frustrating being his daughter and watching him wrap his life in shadows and secrecy.

“Mom was dying. He wanted to save her. I realize that now. He took this project – designed SAM – to keep her alive. I’ve seen the memories and heard the recordings. SAM says there is more, so I’m kind of… scared to see what’s next. I don’t want to watch her die again through Dad’s eyes.”

He took the glass out of her hands moving it to the edge of the table to be refilled and tentatively – gently – laid his fingers over her own. She stared at their hands with her lips drawn into a straight line but didn’t resist which he took as a good sign.

“What was she like?”

“Strong, capable, smart… It’s easy enough to see only the good things when I’ve missed her for so long. At the time, I didn’t even want to really be around them. Mom and Dad fought all the time. She was ready to go, and he didn’t want to let her go. Scott and I were caught in the middle, but we all loved each other. I should’ve shown it more though. I hope Dad knew even though that rift was between us for so long.”

“She sounds a lot like you,” Evfra said. “If your father loved her so much to risk this journey and give up their final hours despite their discord, I do not see how this ‘rift’ as you call it would make him doubt his children.”

Her fingers awkwardly intertwined in his own, and he didn’t look but somehow knew she was smiling.

“Thanks, Evfra. Even if the words aren’t true, it means more to me than you know to hear you say it. Other than SAM and Lexi, you are the only other person I’ve talked to about this.”

“Nobody?” He knew that he was fishing, but he wanted to believe that through some turn of events he had become more favored than the others. He was not the type of person that one confides one’s confidences in, but for her he would like to make an exception.

“Nobody,” she confirmed.

He purred at that and returned the grip on her hand. “What about Scott?”

“Evfra, as much as I enjoy talking about my idiot brother, I know something is bothering you. Something to do with that damned light that is driving me nuts.”

He tried to pull his hand away wanting to fold back up into his shell, but she held onto his fingers tightly making the effort seem pointless. Her blue eyes were hard when she looked at him although not cold nor distant – simply ever present, and he knew he had a much greater chance of moving a mountain than dissuading the Pathfinder.

“My mother sent me a message.”

Sara’s face scrunched up in confusion, and he grip relaxed letting his strangled fingers breathe again. “You told me your family was dead.”

“They are – were. To me, at least. The Moshae was always quick to remind me that my mother still lived, but I never wanted to hear it.” He rubbed his shoulder. “She… joined the Roekarr after the kett killed the rest of them. It was only she and I left, but it was not enough to heal her hurt and anger. I had hoped for awhile that she would come back, but…”

“Did you get to see her again?” Ryder’s voice was soft and quiet as it reached his ears, and he suddenly wanted to cry. It was not the same when anyone else had comforted him. Paraan was kind enough at first but quickly fell to impatience. The Moshae was infinitely understanding in a way that a superior who knows more about the world and life is. Jaal was filled with tears, and Evfra always felt that he was comforting him by the end of the discussion, so it became bottled. But with Ryder it was simply still, quiet, and a bit too much like home to keep his wits about him. He put his free hand on his thigh digging his nails into his flesh to stave off his momentary weakness. He didn’t want this to be done in public.

“I did,” he replied with a gravelly voice. “She looked me in the eye on the battlefield right before she shot me. It was that day that she became dead to me, but now that you have given Akksul’s rogues pause, she wants to…” He swallowed.

“I take it you haven’t read the message.”

“No.” His voice had faded to a flat emotionless bass. She held out her hand, and his eyes flicked to her open palm and back.

“We could read it together. If that would help.”

He was empty and still as he maneuvered the comm between them, and she flew through the screens and opened the message.

_My son,_

_It has been so long. I know that you probably hate me. I have hated you for so long. You had gone against me after your father’s and siblings’ deaths. The Roekaar was all I could see as the right answer. These kett who took our family from us stole my sanity as well. I realize that now._

_I abandoned my son. I shot my son. I’m not proud of it. It seemed right at the time. Akksul said that it was right, but I had a mind of my own however clouded in fear and rage. I will always regret leaving you when you needed me most. I was reminded of that when Akksul fired that gun at the Darav boy. It was you and I on the floor of the Forge._

_I understand that you do not wish to speak with me nor forgive me, but if you find that within your heart to tolerate me, I would like to see you. I would go back to our family’s community, but it is no longer my home. It is lost, but I will search for it once more. If you want to see me even slightly, I will be waiting._

_I cannot convey the regret I feel for my actions. Truly._

_Your mother_

The Pathfinder sat back in her chair and looked up at Evfra, and he knew what she would say before it came out of her mouth. He knew, because she had guessed him right up until now, and she was the only person that would be able to push him out of the capital.

“I always regret not telling Dad that I loved him. I wouldn’t want the same for you.”

“I should go,” he sighed. “The Moshae said as much after that bastard Akksul told her of my mother’s resignation. It seems you not only saved Jaal’s family but my own.”

They sat in silence for a moment letting the breeze blow past them as they finished their drinks watching the other patrons mill about the tavetaan. They had come at an unusually calm hour, but the area was quickly filling. He didn’t want to be here in the press of the crowd, and he started to stand.

“I’ll go with you. If you like.” Her voice was small, and her face was earnest as she looked up at him, and his field reached out to her once again, but this time it was warm rather than biting.

“I’ll meet you on Havarl.”

“I’ll wait. There’s no sense in us traveling separately. Besides, you haven’t seen the Tempest. I would think the mighty general would have some valuable insight into what we could improve to give us an advantage over the kett.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Perhaps I have a few ideas.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I'm late. I hope that it's worth it. I know that people were expecting to meet his mother in this chapter, but one more until that. I'm trying to make this section as perfect as possible, so restarting chapters is becoming common. Enjoy!

Evfra sat his duffle bag on the bunk in the crew’s quarters that the doctor had pointed out to him. She was a very inquisitive and friendly sort, but Jaal had been correct about the prying questions. He felt like the woman had a field of her own the way she stripped him down to his biology with each glance. Usually, that would’ve made him uncomfortable in a totally different way, but her gaze was all too clinical. He thought that the only one she viewed as more than a patient was the krogran. Their playful jabs and her nagging reminders made them a little too close for casual.

“So, you’re blue,” asked the dark human Evfra had come to know as Liam. Jaal had informed Evfra of their ‘culture shock’ method of adapting to each other, and he was not looking forward to experiencing it. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“And you are brown,” he replied. “Are we going to keep saying obvious facts?”

“Woah. Someone is prickly.” The human held his hands up in protest, and Evfra had the distinct feeling that he was being mocked.

Jaal clapped Evfra on the shoulder tugging him slightly into his chest. “It is his nature.”

Liam looked back and forth between Jaal and Evfra. “Woah, Jaal, I didn’t know you had the general in your pocket.”

Evfra snarled and plucked Jaal’s arm from around his shoulder with disdain turning back to his duffle.

“He gets like that,” Jaal replied letting his field lick up Evfra’s spine. It made him queasy and a little angry. He had enough rumors floating around Aya. He didn’t need them on the Nexus as well.

“Must be hard to deal with.”

“You have no idea.” Jaal’s good-natured rumble of a laugh filled the crew bunkroom.

“When will we be leaving Aya,” asked Evfra without turning. He was anxious to get moving in the same way that he didn’t want to get moving. A part of him simply wanted to walk off the ship and tell the Moshae that if she wanted to go visit his mother she could go do it by her goddamned self, but he knew that wouldn’t go over well. Ryder was right. He should at least attempt to make amends on his own. Otherwise, the Moshae was likely to show up at his door with his mother in tow and little explanation to show. This journey was beginning to take on the form of a jittery death march.

“General de’Tershaav, our approximate departure time is at 1500 hours.”

He jerked and looked around him to locate the animatronic voice but saw nothing. To his displeasure, Jaal was outright chuckling, and Liam had a smile that failed to hide a snicker that turned into a snort.

“I am SAM,” said the voice. “Jaal has spoken to you about me, but I am only accessible through Initiative gear which you are lacking. If you have questions or concerns, you can address me directly on the Tempest or via an Initiative headset. The Pathfinder has given you clearance. She has also asked me to inform you that you are due to meet with Doctor T’Perro before we disembark.”

Evfra licked his lips. He wasn’t certain which concerned him more: the Pathfinder apparently concerned that he would carry some rare and unknown disease to her crew or that he was simply talking to thin air. His eyes darted to Jaal’s as he was not certain where to look for this as there was no body to speak of, and he felt looking up to the ceiling as if the AI were some sort of heavenly god would feel too odd.

“I have been introduced, but the I don’t know the location of her office,” he replied slowly.

“I will take you,” replied Jaal patting him on the back and walking out the door. “You will like Dr. T’Perro. She is charming and intelligent. Just don’t ask too many questions. One word answers. Otherwise, you may drift onto uncomfortable topics.”

“I hear you,” came an annoyed voice across the hall.

Jaal rumbled again pointing to the room before leaning into Evfra’s ear to whisper, “Good luck.”

Evfra swallowed and strode purposefully into the office. The asari was looking over a datapad by one of the beds. When he caught a glance, he noticed that is was a detailed angaran anatomy chart which gave him pause. After a moment of uneasy shifting, he shook his head at himself. It was ludicrous that a doctor knowing anatomy would make him nervous. It should comfort him.

“Ryder says that you have an injured wrist,” she explained. “Wouldn’t want it getting worse while you’re with the Initiative. For the duration of the journey, you are a member of the crew and will be cared for as such. Sit down.”

He sat on the bed that she gestured towards. “It really is a minor injury. Ryder should not be concerned.”

Dr. T’Perro held out a hand with an air of authority that was demanding, so Evfra presented his arm.

“That is what I said after Moshae Sjefa forwarded your medical records at Ryder’s request, but she worries about you more than most.”

Evfra knew he should be happy or angry depending on which ‘she’ was worried for him. Although he was still stuck on the Moshae having the audacity forward his records. It was not as if he were against the agaran open sharing policy. He simply was not too fond of it when it applied to him. So he decided to take a different tactic.

“The Moshae should know better than to worry.”

“No,” said Dr. T’Perro with a glance that clearly said that he was a dense fool. “Ryder was worried. Moshae Sjefa simply forwarded the records.”

He didn’t know how to reply to that, so he sat forward in the chair and let the doctor examine his wrist without paying too much attention to the process. He was too focused on the thought of Ryder worrying about him. It annoyed him in a way and threatened to split his face into a smile in another. He knew people worried about him despite his adamant push to dissuade them, but that was the angaran way. His people would worry about any of their species, because they had never learned to hide that aspect. It would show in their fields if not their faces, but these Milky Way aliens were decidedly different. Their body was the only thing that showed emotion, and he had not picked that up during his and the Pathfinder’s earlier conversation. She had given sound heartfelt advice and expressed concern, but the expression had seemed detached to him. He had thought she had made a quick assessment of his wounds, judged them non-lethal, and forgotten them, yet if the doctor’s words were true – and they must be with the records as evidence, the Pathfinder had thought of him after their talk. He had lingered in her mind as she had in his, and he rather liked that idea. He simply hoped her worry would not consume her and treat him as if he were fragile, because fragile was not a word to attribute to a general.

The doctor dropped his hand and keyed in something on the datapad. An angaran anatomy chart appeared on the row of screens to his right. It was a gold and orange toned system on a black background with a label etched in the corner in a curved script that he could not read. The translators that the Initiative had issued him only worked on voices leaving him at a loss when he tried to read anything in the ship. He would mention this to Ryder, for while simultaneously being an inconvenience, it was a safety hazard as well. He didn’t know how Jaal had functioned so long under these conditions. Doctor T’Perro touched the chart’s wrist highlighting it on the screen and added notes to the side of it before closing the charts.

“I don’t believe that I need you anymore. You are free to go,” she said facing him and holding the datapad to her chest. “If you feel any discomfort or need anything medical, do not hesitate to come see me. Also, if you feel inclined to donate to my research attempts, I will take any samples you see fit to give.”

Evfra felt his neck shrink into his body. Jaal’s stories about the doctor’s requests had made him wary. He loved research. It had been his passion before the war, and while donating blood or skin tissue was acceptable, he knew that the doctor had approached Jaal for far more private bodily secretions, and he did not want to begin down that path. He felt the impression of false hope that the normal formal pleasantries would give would simply be a stepping stone to the awkward conversation.

He folded his arms across his chest and let the frown fall where it felt most at home. “No.”

The Doctor’s eyes narrowed. “I see. Very well. I suppose that I shall see you in the mess hall.”

“Do we not need to strap in for take-off?”

She waved a hand dismissively. “Kall is brilliant. Don’t let him tell you otherwise. His experimental model for gyro spacecraft configuration in the crew areas has eliminated the safety concerns of unrestrained take-off. Much better than any salarian or turian invention beforehand. Don’t go into the Nomad’s area, but anywhere else is perfectly stable.”

Evfra opened his mouth only to be abruptly cut off.

“Don’t ask me to explain it. I know the bare bones. I am a doctor – not an engineer.”

Evfra nodded. He didn’t think the doctor was simply being rude to him – which he deserved after his flat rejection. He had been on the receiving end of denied materials, and it had always made him angry enough to frequent the tavetaan at unseemly hours. It was probably not the best idea, but it served his purpose.

“Even in our largest ships, take-off and landing are still the most dangerous times.”

“Perhaps you can ask Kallo about a joint project to integrate the system.”

The anticipation made his field hum, and the asari looked at her datapad. Her eyes lit up, and she leaned forward.

“What are you feeling right now?” The question was frantic and close making Evfra pull back. His field stopped humming and sucked into his body like a second skin charging. He knew he should dissipate it, because he could imagine this woman touching him. He didn’t want to shock her too badly, but he did feel cornered.

She looked at her datapad again. “Ah! It’s gone! What are you thinking now? Is it different?”

He was thinking that the woman was fine and calm a few moments ago and was now much too excited for him. He glanced at the datapad.

“I have been developing a program to read angaran bioelectric fields. Jaal has said that you communicate with them as well, and I wanted to have a way to read that side of the angara as well. It seems the program works, but I still need to calibrate the wavelengths to the proper emotions. I believe it will be most useful in allowing us to better understand one another.”

Evfra had like the lack of fields and the safety it had brought him among the Milky Way aliens, and he was none too happy that it was about to disappear, but the woman was brilliant. He was a little jealous of her accomplishment and her happiness in it. It was a satisfaction he would never get leading a war effort. He was excited nonetheless at the possibilities it could produce. His thoughts flickered to Ryder.

“Could it also work in reverse to give other species the means to create fields?”

Her head tilted. “What a novel idea! I had been so focused on understanding the angara that I never thought it would be easier to understand us if we possessed all the linguistic aspects of the species. Unfortunately, this is simply a reader, but you have given me a new application to incorporate into it. Would you mind helping me test it later? Perhaps I can try to emit a field, and you can tell me what it means?”

He looked at the woman’s wide excited eyes and twitching fingers thinking she could probably emit a field all by herself right now, but he nodded.

“Perfect,” she breathed turning back to the wall of screens. “I have work to get done. Come back if you need me, general.”

He slid off the exam table and left the room. There wasn’t anybody in the hall, and he heard banging from the last door on the right with a slight dose of swearing and decided that was probably somewhere he did not want to be, so he decided to look in the left-hand door. When it slid open, he found a stainless-steel bathroom. Everything was shiny and had no signs of use. Fresh towels were folded and stacked along the wall. He tried the other door connecting to the room to see it slide open to the crew quarters. It was empty. He stood awkwardly in the doorway unsure about a locking mechanism for the shower before settling on showering anyway. Nobody intruded on him, but his shower was quick and rushed due to his own paranoia. He was sitting on his bunk unpacking his things when Jaal’s head poked into the cabin.

“I’ve fixed dinner,” he said with a lilt in his voice that at any other time would have made Evfra wary rather than him simply grateful to see a familiar face.

Evfra sighed and followed Jaal to the door that had previously had the swearing coming from it, and he was certain the voice had not been Jaal’s own. Liam passed them in the hallway carrying two plates of food.

“Did you remember to put Dr. T’Perro’s supplements on the side,” Jaal asked as he passed.

The man spun on his heel holding a plate up like a trophy. “You know it,” he replied before disappearing into the doctor’s office.

When they went to the door, Ryder was standing inside a frown on her face, and her eyebrows knitted together.

“Vetra,” she growled into her comm, “I swear to God if you do not come here and get dinner I will cut your wire connection, so that you _can’t_ work.”

“Alright,” came the exasperated reply. “I’m coming. Just let me finish this last transmission.”

“Ten minutes,” replied Ryder before clicking the comm off.

“You show her, kid,” laughed a graveled voice in the corner. The krogan held up his drink in a salute before taking a swig of the golden syrup concoction.

She took a plate that had been prepared on the counter and sat at the table finally raising her eyes to see Evfra. He thought he saw them light up and crinkle nearly to a smile at the edges, but he may have only imagined it. He did notice that she had an open seat on either side of her, so he reached for a plate and promptly received a smack on the hand from Jaal. Evfra drew his hand back more in shock than pain then crossed them and glared.

“That one is for you,” said Jaal pointing to a plate already placed on the small table.

Evfra growled his disapproval before taking the plate and sliding it to the seat beside Ryder. He looked from her dish to his own. Her plate boasted a mixture of exquisitely prepared angaran food and Milky Way delicacies prepared in a way that while lacking somewhat in presentation was obviously no reflection on the taste. His own held solely angaran dishes that clearly showed with the scars and black dust on them the difficulty levels of each selection as expressed by an amateur. The havash – a simple tuber paste dish that was a light green when prepared properly – was the closest thing resembling food. It only became worse from there. The rylkor steak was a great cut that had been turned into charred leather – flavorless and chewy. The last dish was a simply mixture of purple plant matter which was prepared simply by tearing up the leaves, but when selected improperly gave it a bitter acidic taste. The sauce on top was generally clear and thick like a syrup after it had been boiled properly. It was not supposed to be thin and wispy.

He looked at Jaal and glared. He didn’t know why his friend would insist on giving him this badly cooked food when he had treated everyone else to such delicacies. Jaal sat on the opposite side of Ryder who Evfra noticed was watching him intently.

Jaal mouthed “eat it” to him, and since hospitality and his friend demanded it, he put the first bite into his mouth. It didn’t taste as badly as it looked. It was worse, and Evfra silently thanked Jaal for all the wonderful meals he had prepared for him in his apartment. He simply didn’t know what he had done to deserve this treatment.

“So… do you like it,” asked Ryder. Her lips were drawn into a hard line, and her hand gripped her own fork with white knuckles.

Evfra looked at Jaal behind Ryder who was nodding emphatically.

“It was… good,” he replied trying to tie his field tightly to his body, so nothing of the lie would show through.

She smiled and turned back to her food cheerfully. “Good.”

Jaal winked at him.

Evfra wasn’t certain of what had just happened and was thankfully distracted from it by a loud asari bursting into the room. She took a plate and practically slid into a seat across the table. She fanned her face with a hand.

“That is one sandwich that I’d like to be in.”

Her grin was saucy and made Evfra fidget. He glanced down the table to see Ryder glaring at the asari, and Jaal simply smiling with the glint of a proud predator in the way his canines could be seen in his smile. His field twisted around Ryder in a way that Evfra was keenly aware that he disliked, so he sent his to do the same falling and filling in the gaps slowly prying Jaal away from Sara. Jaal looked at him in amusement and knowing. Evfra turned his attention back to his food abruptly but kept his field tightly around the Pathfinder.

“Wow,” the asari replied. “Are you three actually…?” She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

“No.” Ryder and Evfra both replied at the same time: her a hiss and him a thunder. They looked at each other.

“Oh,” replied the asari and pointed her spoon at Jaal. “That leaves you for me.”

“I have noticed you looking,” Jaal replied his voice low, but humor being present as well.

She giggled. “You should start looking back.”

Evfra glared at Jaal. He didn’t know how the man could challenge him for Ryder’s affections then so shamelessly show favor to another.

“Peebee,” sighed Ryder in exasperation.

“Don’t worry, Ryder,” said Peebee looking directly at Jaal. “I’m a part of the crew now, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Jaal’s grin widened, and a good-natured laugh escaped him. “So Peebee, I heard that you updated the remnant that you built?”

The asari and Jaal promptly began a conversation that may as well have been private for all the attention they were showing the others seated at the table. Evfra noted that Jaal’s field was no longer threatening to envelope Ryder, but he didn’t feel a need to remove his own. After all, Jaal could try again at any minute. The krogan got up and began rummaging in the cabinets behind them.

“Kid,” he said, “where’s the weak human alcohol stashed in here? I told Gil that I would bring him a beer for our card game this evening. It’s krogan tonight.”

She turned in her seat brushing Evfra’s arm. The heat lingered long after the touch.

“Second cabinet to the left. No. Up. Oh. Sorry. Third. What’s krogan?”

“We’ve been switching. I always lose at poker. He always loses at my games, so the person who brings the game brings the beer. It helps warm the loser’s spirit.”

“Sounds more expensive for him.”

The krogan laughed. It was an abrupt grating sound fitting him well. “He hasn’t figured it out yet, and I’m not telling him.”

Ryder shook her head grinning. “Your secret is safe with me.”

Evfra felt her brush him again as she turned. It seemed more lingering and firmer than the first, and when he glanced at her, he caught her eyes that quickly looked away. Her cheeks became pink.

“So,” she said twirling her fork absently in some angaran vegetables, “I’m glad you like the food.”

She looked up at him. Hope shone through her blue eyes, and her small smile was tentative, and suddenly he understood. Perhaps the doctor was right, and he was a dense fool.

“I would like to compliment the chef in person. It must not be easy cooking food that you have never tasted before.”

Her smile widened, and Evfra felt the hairs on his arms stand up sending a shiver through his field. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Jaal glance at him.

“I know it’s not as good as Jaal’s,” she said.

“It’s better,” he said. Realistically, he knew that it was a lie, but he wasn’t being very rational at the moment. The thought of Ryder’s frustration as she cut the vegetables unevenly and burned something yet again made the meal taste more excellent than anything Jaal’s skill had ever prepared him. He still wasn’t certain that he wanted to eat it daily, but with Ryder’s determination, she would probably be at least as good as him eventually.

“I remembered that you liked the potatoes, but I thought you might want something more homey. I swear I cook better human food than angaran. Lexi said that it might make you sick though.”

He was pretty sure the amount of charcoal was going to make him sick, but it wouldn’t do to mention that at this time. “I would like to try it even if it has a chance of making me sick. Just not before a mission.”

She beamed, and Evfra let a a small smile spread over his face as he turned back to the food. It tasted better already.

“I’ll plan something,” she replied busying herself with her own plate.

Evfra noticed Jaal smiling at them lovingly from the corner of his eyes, but he resumed conversation with the asari so fluidly that Evfra couldn’t be certain, so he continued swallowing the meal as best he could trying to not let it touch his tongue on the way down his throat. On his third trip to the bathroom that night, he took Lexi up on her offer of medical assistance. It was still worth it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evfra's familial tongue is in italics. I hope you like it even though it's terribly late. Also, I updated it, because I found Evfra's mother's name.

Evfra stood on the deck of the Havarl port looking over the twilight planet's lush jungle. It was as if Aya's color scheme had been skewed, and he hadn't called Havarl home in years. The home planet was lived on by families with much more honor than his own. His family had not deserved their space after the turn of his mother to the Roekaar legions, so he had not made an attempt to prevent their farmland from being replaced. Thus, his home had been overgrown or overtaken for all he knew. Aya had become his home. The Moshae's improvised school for orphans had been a bed and a steady uneventful daydream that was more reliable than a single young boy fighting off the jungle and its predators for the plantation.

He leaned on the rail letting the cool steel bite into his arms and remind him that he was home. He was back where his life began. The cries of rylkor could be heard in the distance. They were the most vicious predator on the planet. He remembered setting the traps to bait them as a boy and watching them take the poisoned meat to their young. With that perspective, he did not see how the Milky Way species could be any more destructive to the worlds as his own could be. He couldn't blame them for clearing the new spaces for their own research anymore than he could blame the angaran plantations for warding against predators.

The angaran shuttle pilot came to stand beside him, but he did not look at her. Instead he continued gazing in the direction of his childhood home far over the edge of the high walls. Surrounding the spaceport area. Originally, it had been a nature preserve until the kett overran the cities in the battle leaving the park the only land that was still dangerous enough to keep the soldiers back. At that time, the rylkor and fiends were just as much troops as the angaran stragglers. It had been long enough since that time for the kett to be fought back bringing a sense of normalcy back to the planet, but the port had stayed, and the wildlife had expanded beyond the high walls.

"Will it be much longer, general?"

The woman's tone was polite, but her field told a different story. She was a civilian and not beholden to his command, and he knew that he was not the best of company, and she could be making more money as a ferry without the time restraint.

"She's coming," he said feeling the breeze swirl around his face bringing the scent of earth, decay, and wet leaves that was so familiar to him.

The woman huffed and walked back to the shuttle. He stood and keyed in a message to Ryder asking if she could please hurry, but when he started to push send, he was not entirely certain he wanted to get into the shuttle at all and hesitated. If Ryder didn't show up, he could simply return home on a civilian shuttle using work as an excuse. The Moshae would frown at him but leave him be about the affair for at least the next month. Paaran would be grateful enough to give him more tasks to fill up the time his new assistant had freed. All in all, the thought of it was more tempting than riding to meet the mother he had killed in his heart and soul. He rubbed at his shoulder which had been itching and aching the entire day. Doctor T'Perro had given him medication to calm it, but she and he both knew it was all in his mind. The wound had healed years ago, and his medical records would have stated that as well as his lingering doubts about that very concept.

"Evfra."

He turned to see Ryder striding up to meet him. It was the first time he had seen her in her armor. It was mismatched and bore deep scars in the metal. They were silent witnesses to her own trials in this unknown galaxy, and somehow that calmed him – the acknowledgement of the past. His own armor was rarely worn, but it was the same set that bore the patched bullet hole in the shoulder from that day. He had no other set, because he couldn't seem to part with it nor don anything else. It had been in the back of his closet until the Pathfinder invited him onto the ship trying to be forgotten. It was somehow fitting that he wear it to meet the woman who had both inspired him to join the Resistance as well as leave the field of battle.

"Ryder," he said letting his field flick toward her and drink in the shape of her. "I thought you may have changed your mind."

"Of course not," she replied with a smile. "I would never go back on a promise."

The shuttle rumbled to life, and the pilot cast them an irritated glance. She reached for the railings around the shuttle doors and stepped inside with a small huff at the exertion. He started to follow her then hesitated with one hand on a side rail. His mouth pressed into a frown as he looked down at the single step attached at the shuttle base. Ryder's gloved hand entered his vision, and he looked into her eyes. Her face was determined, and the nod that she gave him was full of her strength. He grasped her forearm in his other hand and pulled himself into the shuttle. When they were buckled, the captain gave a brief rundown of all the things that the passengers were not to do in her shuttle lest they be dropped wherever she could land. Evfra was lost in his thoughts through it all and was surprised by Ryder's snort of laughter. He glanced at her.

"It's just funny," she explained. "My mother used to point at warning signs on the stations and tell me that the sign was there, because some idiot had done the very thing they were warning against. And I just got the picture of an angaran attempting to climb out of the shuttle in the middle of the flight."

He snorted as well at the thought. "There was a sign at the station saying that articles in the station were not to be fed to the rylkor."

"See," she said her eyes wide and insistent. "People are just as dumb across all species."

Evfra put a mock serious expression on his face. "Although I do believe that sign was put up after the humans built a base."

"Oh, you," she said playfully punching his arm. "You should see some of the signs the Nexus had to put up after the angara got an embassy."

He smiled at her hiding his fear and anxiety behind her good humor. He wondered if she could tell that he was scared even if she couldn't feel it the same way an angara could. He could feel his field wobble faintly around him laced with the uncertainty of the coming hours. He was grateful for it either way. It was much easier to focus on her smile than the future.

"Why were you late?"

She rolled her eyes. "Kallo and Gil were at each other's throats. Kallo doesn't want to change the ship, and Gil wants to adapt it to Andromeda. It created friction. Hopefully, it's over now."

"Your engineer's point of view seems the most sensible. You didn't know what you would encounter here. Now you do."

She shook her head. "It's more than that. Kallo's people who built the ship – he's the only one still living and here. It's sentimental not practical. Gil is right, but Kallo's heart is in the right place."

Evfra hummed and laid his head back against the cold rumbling steel interior of the shuttle. The pilot had splurged on the seats and the thick rubber carpeting on the floor leaving the walls bare. He let the chill seep into the skin on his head as he looked at the curve that eventually turned from wall to ceiling. He knew the pain of being left behind, and Kallo's plight was similar enough.

"Adapting," he began slowly, "is the same as growing. Your pilot – Kallo – he will mourn his loss, but he will take pride in what has changed and been built by your Initiative together. It is extending the soul of his crew."

"… I will probably tell him that."

He let his eyes slide down to meet her blue ones. "It is not so wise."

She laughed at him. "Even you sometimes have wisdom."

He purred. Perhaps it was being back on Havarl that was making him easy and sentimental. He felt cracks and shifts in his armor that were widening leaving him feeling naked. He wished to ride in the shuttle and never touch down certain that his unusual good humor would evaporate upon landing. His fingers jerked when he felt the touch of the Pathfinder's hand on his, but he didn't turn his head. He looked out of his peripherals to see her staring straight ahead. Her lips were drawn in a straight line, and he could tell her jaw was clenched. He let her hold his hand and settled back into the cold metal of the shuttle to wait. She relaxed beside him, and they rode in silence.

The ship whirred and wobbled slightly before it escaped the air currents running over the trees to hover slowly downward. The feet underneath struck, gave, and settled in quick easy consensus. The pilot called over the intercom for disembarkation with a smug glint to her voice. Evfra uncurled his fingers from the Pathfinder's and leapt down hitting the hard ground with a heavy thump. The weeds were clinging to life in the little clearing, and his boots crushed the small green creeper into the ground. He set his jaw and swallowed before looking up.

They landed at the foot of the orchard. The houses of his familial community would be in the center of the compound on the other side of the trees. He hadn't known what to expect. In his mind's eyes, he had seen the old compound turning into a ragged heap. The dirt paths formed simply by many feet overgrown. The orchard's trees dying and overtopped by the ever encroaching jungle. The compound itself in greater ruin than his young body had left them. It had been foolish for him to try to upkeep the compound with a depressed mother that lurked more like a ghost than a parent. She had done nothing to help his endeavors, and if she had, he was certain they would've died on this farm. Their distant family would never encroach on their territory as long as they were still laying claim to it. But the orchard was thriving. The paths were dotted with angara selecting fruit. The rational side of his brain knew that in a war with uprooted families the allure of an unguarded compound without a familial claim would offer promise – not only of food but the status that Havarl brought with it. The chance for new money to grow into old money's space.

"I guess it's not just your mom," said Ryder.

His lips drew into a line. The angara here were not his relatives – not even distantly. He knew that he had no reason to feel more anger at her. He had not stayed here either, but his heritage was gone nonetheless. Neither he nor any of his family would ever be able to lay claim to this ground again as anything other than hired hands. It was a thought that he had known the day he left and thought that he had accepted, but it was still difficult to see it in another's hands. He almost rather the forest overtake it.

"No," he replied keeping his hard gaze forward and his response brief. The angara nearest the shuttle had begun to whisper to their neighbors, and he saw a young boy sent up the path. Whoever was responsible for this operation would be meeting with them shortly. He strode up the dirt path that he knew so well yet was alien to him. It would not do to look unwelcome here. Nobody knew if he was expected or not at this point. It would be foolish to let hostility breed.

Baskets of upwa fruit lay along the path. The rich bright purple flesh was polished to a sheen and fat. Along the trail some had been dropped and trampled as the adults systematically ferried them to the front of the orchard. Ryder was looking around in wonder at the ordered chaos of the pickers. Children were in the high branches squawking the familial tongue and tossing fruit both down from the high branches and occasionally at each other to the vocalized dismay of their parents. It was familiar to Evfra and both infuriating and comforting.

" _Life goes on_ ," he muttered under his breath.

"What," asked Ryder.

He shook his head and gestured to the compound. An angarran male and female were watching. The man was older but looked to have lived an easy life. His face was etched with smile lines, and he had his hands tucked inside his pockets. His glasses hung from his cowl and made his eyes seem wider than they were giving him an innocent open appearance.

The woman was probably matched in age, but her face held lines that showed sadness and pain. Her skin was marked with scars from the war, but Evfra saw only the mother from his past that laughed when he threw the upwa at her and occasionally threw it back when nobody was looking. His breath caught in his throat and came heavier than he wished. Ryder sped her steps passing him and extending an arm to the man.

"Pathfinder Ryder," she said with a firm greeting of which any man would be proud.

"I have heard much about you," he replied with a smile and a glance at the woman beside him. "Rvik Fersh. This is my family." His arms spread in a gesture to encompass the whole of the compound.

Ryder nodded pleasantly. "It certainly is impressive." She turned to the woman who before she could extend her arm began speaking.

"Joevett. Joevett de Tershaav," she said both strong and lilting. "We've met before Pathfinder although not introduced properly."

If Ryder was affronted by the denial of a greeting, she didn't show it. She smiled at the woman and inclined her head.

"A pleasure."

Joevett's eyes flicked to Evfra who was still trying to figure out how to greet his mother. Her face showed no sign of either sadness or fear both of which Evfra felt inside himself. He hoped he showed no outward signs of it either. Gently, he felt the familiar caress of her field not pushing on his own but simply touching as if to be assured of his presence more than probe. It was at this touch – part of the soul of the angara – that Evfra saw the mother he had once known hidden under the layers of guilty decisions and utter black of loneliness, and he simply reached to her. She fell into his arms seeming so much smaller than all those years ago. His hands gripped at her clothes, and he felt wet drops dot his own skin. Their fields melted into one another, and he knew her once more. After his breathing slowed, he pulled back from her cupping her cheeks in his palms.

" _Mother_ _Joevett_ ," he whispered as he thumbed a tear from her cheek.

" _My son_ ," she said her fists tightening on his front, " _I can not say how sorry I am for leaving all those years ago. At the time, it seemed right_."

" _And I cannot forgive you yet… but I have missed you_."

She swallowed and looked to Ryder who was standing by Rvik. " _I also have some things that I must learn to do_."

She reached and pulled his forehead to her own with a deep breath. Evfra breathed her in as well. Her scent was different but familiar, and it put him at ease the same as it had all those years ago. When she untangled herself from him, he looked toward Ryder pushing his gratitude through his field and entwining it around her. He didn't know what the future would hold, but it was a new beginning. It was more than he would have had if left to his own devices.

Rvik smiled at Joevett tenderly before looking to Evfra. "As a host, this reunion puts me in an awkward situation. I believe that it would be less so with food in front of us."

"Yes," nodded Joevett. "Pathfinder, Evfra – I would be honored if you would join us."

Ryder placed a hand on Evfra's shoulder and squeezed. "We would be delighted to."

Rvik smiled and turned leading them up the path to a modern structure. Pasha fell into step directly behind him. Evfra looked at Ryder, and she pushed him gently towards his mother and fell behind him. It was strangely comfortable to have her at his back. If there were an alien that he trusted, it would be Sara.

The building was familiar to Evfra. When his family had been here, it had been built of more traditional materials: woods, home-made clay mixes, and roofed with the traditional palm fronds. The rylkor were notorious for finding shiny objects. The new sheen to this trailer was simply the modern answer to their traditional fronds. The door swung open to reveal a tidied home. It was modern and enclosed, but Rvik had taken great care to not mask the old wooden frame and tastefully arrange rugs and furnishings to seem more attuned to the traditional way of life. Blues and purples offset the dark wooden trim which ran half way to the ceiling leaving the metal showing the rest of the way. Bark had been shined to a shimmer along the boundary and danced in the light of the fire at the far wall. A low square table dominated the room and was being laid with food and drink. Upwa wine and a bowl of the fruit sat in the center. Haash wrapped in the luminescent leaves of the kurav plant sat piled on a platter. The smell of fresh fiend wafted through the room. A collection of cheese cubes was arranged alongside the wine. It was different from the human cheese which he had heard was made from domesticated milk animals. The colors were the same – whites and yellows flecked with greens and blacks – but it was mainly made from plant sap concentrated and hardened into cubes. The meal was typical of first class angaran dishes in the city and the normal fare of the farming country. Although he didn't know if it would be to a human's taste.

He sat tucking his legs underneath him and resting on his knees. Ryder took the place beside him. He watched her fold her legs until her knees were crooked leaving her ankles crossed in the center. The movement was curious to him. He had always known her knees had bent unnaturally, but he had never been close enough to notice until now. His eyes flicked up meeting her own before he let his embarrassment get the better of him. His mothers had taught him better than to stare at guests – alien or not.

Rvik began filling his plate. The grilled fiend and haash rolls dominated most of it – apparently his favorites, and he poured everyone a generous glass of wine. He watched Ryder take a hesitant sip of the wine and delighted in her sudden surprise at the flavor and the subsequent gulp. There had been no refreshments since leaving the Tempest. He turned his own attentions to his food eating more rapidly than he should've. He had missed the taste of Havarl – an expensive indulgence on Aya. When the meal had been cleared, his mother stood and left the room going off to what he remembered to be the kitchen. He would've guessed a man such as Rvik that had done little to change the decorating wouldn't have bothered to move whole rooms.

"Business," said Rvik grabbing Evfra's gaze. "I want you to know that I have abided by the martial law imposed on property rights that Paaran Shie has issued."

Evfra had probably signed the papers simply to get Paaran out of his office, but he didn't want to seem ignorant. He also wanted to know what that meant for his family home and his mother. It was a sobering thought that she would return only to push herself into his apartment on Aya. There was much that needed to be sorted between him, and his cramped apartment during his war was not the place to start settling it. It was almost becoming common for Ryder to notice his discomfort and save him, and she didn't fail this time.

"What laws would that be?"

Rvik leaned forward lacing his fingers together in a lattice. "Due to the food shortage for the troops, any land being unfarmed or vacant turns over to whomever has farmed and cultivated it for at least six months. I have been here ten years."

"That seems awful fast."

He shrugged. "People were hungry. Hungry troops lose battle. Morale drops. It was the sensible thing to do."

Paaran was sensible. Evfra hadn't cared where the food had come as long as his men had full bellies. It was a measure that he could not dispute.

"And my mother?"

Rvik turned back to him, and his formal expression softened – the lines around his eyes creasing. "This was her home at one time – her life. What my family knows of this land cannot equal her knowledge. She is valued and welcomed here. As are you. One day this war will end, and you will need a place."

Evfra like the conviction in that last sentence, and it unnerved him to think of a future that wasn't certain. He also like this man that laughed and treated his mother kindly despite her past. The next thought was sudden. He wondered if she had told the man why she had left – where she had been. His jaw clenched, and he swallowed. He did not want to be the one to tell him. He glanced at Ryder. Rvik had been kind to her as well even if he stared a little curiously. He didn't think the country folk would have seen an alien, but she was certainly treated as any other would be. He also knew that without the hostility of some the Resistance would not have been formed.

"Many joined the Resistance," said Rvik quietly staring in the direction she had disappeared. "Not all of them still believe such things. Pathfinder, I believe that you had something to do with it."

"We are allies," she said simply.

"Yes," he smiled fondly. "So it should be."

His mother entered the dining room carrying daan cakes. He had always loved those. When she sat them down, Rvik laughed and thanked her touching her hand and lingering there, and Evfra thought for a moment that his mother lingered as well. He took a cake. The white bread crumbled like sand spilling all over his shirt front. The honey in the center oozed deliciously into his mouth. Ryder giggled and wiped a bit of it off his chin. He glanced at his mother to see her and Rvik doing something similar – he laughing heartily and her with a shy smile. How strange it would be if this place became his family home once again.

"These are delicious," said Ryder emphatically.

His mother smiled a bit but tried to hide it in a nod – a gesture that he supposed he would grow used to it, because she had changed as they all had, but he could still see the woman who had raised him. He looked at Ryder and loved her smile and her laugh as the daan crumbled around her mouth and dripped from her lips as she held a hand underneath to catch the crumbs. He reached with his napkin to wipe it from her mouth and loved how her cheeks turned pink, and her eyes crinkled in happiness.

" _Thank you_ ," he said with a smile, and it felt right.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet. :)

He stood outside of Ryder’s door on the Tempest. He wanted to knock or call her on the comm first but couldn’t bring himself to do either. He was also not too fond of standing outside her door. He didn’t know the alien protocol of entering the private chambers of one who isn’t family, and it bothered him that someone might see him standing and tapping his foot there. He supposed he could always duck into the bathroom. He could be waiting for it and not the Pathfinder.

He only had a few precious hours left before they would reach Aya, and Sara would be on her way to another system doing something dangerous and he in his office with only the attentions of Paaran and the Moshae for company. He was certain the Moshae would be there. She would’ve probably been ecstatic that he and Ryder had made this trip together for many reasons:  the family reunion and the currently not so unwelcome notion that he and Ryder made a good match despite their differences. He simply didn’t want to be quizzed about it. It is one thing to be happy and another to be interrogated and made to analyze it. He had done enough of the latter during his work and didn’t want to analyze it himself much less to another person.

Ryder’s door slid open to reveal her standing with her arms crossed. The corner of her lips was being tugged down against its will, and her left foot was tapping the floor – a perfect picture of feigned impatience. Evfra stood straighter and lifted his chin loosening his fists at his sides. He would stay in control. He would not mess this up.

“SAM tells me that you’re lurking,” she says.

“I do not lurk.” He knows he does as well as she, but he didn’t want to admit his shaking hand any more now than ten minutes earlier.

“So I suppose there is nothing you were wishing to speak with me about?”

He clenches his jaw knowing that she will turn away from him without an answer. “You said that I could see this SAM.”

She shakes her head and runs her fingers through her dark hair, and he wonders again if it is soft. The reaction to this harmless pondering had once given him so little reaction. He remembers her photo all those months ago and how it had simply been a piece of an alien – strange and ethereal, but now it was a piece of Sara, and his field hummed and prickled at the thought. It did not make him calmer.

“Come in.”

He steps forward into her quarters not certain where to look. It was tidy and compressed. The white bed was crinkled where she must’ve been earlier, and her desk was scattered with papers. A slowly turning blue globe was on his right and a screen layered in a black and gold grid showed on the other end. He assumed that SAM must be an electronic, but now that he was here in the Pathfinder’s room, he didn’t know where to turn. SAM may simply be a program not housed in here at all, and his excuse may be found out to be just that. He heard her laugh behind him, and the hairs on his back stood from the sound.

“SAM,” she said striding to the blue globe, “Evfra wishes to meet you.”

“General Tershaav and I have already been acquainted.”

“I said ‘see’,” Evfra corrected. “You are an AI after all.”

“It is impossible to see me in my entirety. My processes were built to understand emotion by leaving embeds from my creator. ‘Meet’ is a more applicable term considering the circumstances.”

“SAM is more human that you would think. My father designed him with technology that was banned for that very thing. He’s intelligent – not just a tool.”

Evfra simply grunted running his hand across the desk absentmindedly. “Does SAM function as your translator?”

Ryder tilted her head. “Yeah. Without him I doubt I would be able to understand you or the remnant. He’s just has an intuitive intelligence to figure languages out that the standard issue translators don’t have. Angaran for example – SAM configured the data pack through your speech patterns which was then packaged and downloaded to individual standard translators. Is there a malfunction with it? He can make updates if the words don’t translate well.”

“No,” Evfra said shaking his head never taking his eyes off his hand tracing the edge of the desk. “I understand you well enough. Only speech. I can’t read the datapads that don’t have the translator previously installed.”

She began to move away. “I’m sure we can find a way to fix that.”

“That’s not – “  He moved too quickly. Her head jerked and confusion lit her features. He was being obtuse. He knew so little about human culture that the significance of his questions was lost on her. An angara would have figured it out by now, and Evfra in his own backwards way found this thought comforting. He didn’t have to observe protocol with her or feel the weight of custom. She would be none the wiser, so why was it so god damned important that he do this? Why was it so important that he do it correctly?

“What is it Evfra?” Her tone was concerned and searching, and he understood the desire to help embedded in it without a field to touch.

“You have never heard – truly heard – angaran. When you speak, I hear common tongue – not your language. It is disconcerting to have never heard you speak.”

“That’s all this is? You just want to hear me talk?”

He shrugged but considered her eyes as his brows pulled down into a frown. “It is not the way of things. One must learn to truly communicate – not simply rely on technology.”

She smiled at him and stepped forward coming so close that Evfra could feel her heat and his pulse. His breath caught as her hands fell upon his collar and flicked his translator. The vibration of the sound detector was silent as she stood there. The initial smile at the surprise on his face slowly melted away as her eyes darted examining him, and he froze feeling his movement would break the moment.

She said something to him her voice breaking on the last note, then words began pouring out of her mouth. The translator had captured her accurately in tone, lilt, and emotion, yet he preferred this jumble that had no meaning in his mind. Between her expressions and her sounds, he felt for the first time that this woman did possess a field. She sighed and leaned her head into his collar. Her breath ran down his chest, and his heart pounded after freezing instantly. He swallowed knowing his coloring had changed and wondered if she would notice how she tore him apart.

“It’s English,” she said leaning away.

The translator had been flicked back on, and he had not noticed.

“Er, yes.”

“So it’s your turn,” she said adding some distance as she wrapped her arms around her and peered through her fallen hair. She was as breathless as he, and it made him wonder what she had said in that brief moment.

“My turn?” His brain was not functioning as it ought. Too much blood had been redirected to stop his heart attack.

“I want to hear angaran.”

“Won’t SAM translate?” He glanced at the blue globe, and she shook her head.

“I told him not to.”

He pressed his lips together and crossed his arms. “Is this… English the language your family speaks?”

“Yes,” she answered tilting her head. “My family and millions more. It has mostly become the working language of humanity. There are others though.”

“How many?” He was stalling as he tried to decide what he wanted to do. Should he teach her common, or should he make this something much more personal?

“Oh, I don’t know:  a dozen major and couple hundred minor. At least, the ones still spoken today?”

“So few?” Evfra shouldn’t have thought that this would have the same significance in her culture as his own, but it made the thought of reaching out this way feel cheapened somehow to him.

“Evfra, why did you want to hear me speak?”

He uncrossed his arms and leaned against her desk. “Common tongue is for business, but learning a family’s language is… more personal. Private even.”

He wouldn’t look at her. He didn’t want anything to show. His cracks opened all too easily around her, and he was afraid of being broken again by the rejection. He had begun to hope too much during this journey. Jaal’s winks and little nudges towards the Pathfinder had made them closer, and she had seemed happy with the light touches and shy smiles. If it would not work, he would like to keep simply this.

“I believe that I said that I wanted to hear angaran.”

His stomach dropped, and his lips pushed together. She didn’t want him, and it hurt. He had broken their friendship and ruined their closeness. He was so wrapped in these thoughts that he nearly missed her next words and thought he had heard them incorrectly all the same. He looked up at her with wide wet eyes.

“What?” His voice was quiet - barely a breath.

“Your language. What’s it called?”

“Tershaav.”

“Tershaav. I would like to hear Tershaav.”

Evfra gulped and slowly stood. He was afraid she would change her mind. He was afraid that she would take it back. He was afraid that without a field it would be harder to hear his heart in the words. He was afraid that it had been too long for him to remember the words. But he reached for her anyway – the same as she for him, and he cupped her chin in his hand which was shaking. She noticed. She had to notice, but her eyes never left his own. The blue of Voeld looked at him, and her hair brushed his hand. It was soft.

“ _To speak another language is to speak to the mind. To speak my language is to connect to the heart. I… You…”_ He searched her face for a moment. He knew that he was not traditional. He had no lands to offer her and by all rights shouldn’t be able to propose that someone enter his own family. With no assets, his only option was to enter another, but he knew that she had come to this galaxy for the differences. He licked his lips, and instead of ritually inviting her to join him, he said, “ _Let us connect together._ ”

He leaned down and brushed her lips hesitantly with his own letting his field tentatively dance across her skin. He felt through it when she raised her hands before they wrapped around his neck and pulled his lingering touch deeper into her. At her insistence, he wrapped his field around her completely. When it broke, she was breathing heavy, and her face was pink. He caught a hand as it slid from his shoulder and kissed it.

“Sara Ryder, you are an amazing creature.”

“Evfra de Tershaav,” she smiled, “what did you say to me?”

He colored and moved away from her a bit. “I want to teach you my language. It’s how one knows another, and I – “ He glanced at her connecting with her eyes for just a moment. “I wish to know you.”

Her fingers slid into his awkwardly as they wound around the mismatched digits, and he leaned toward her without looking. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and they both stared out the window at the rushing stars.

“I would like that,” she murmured, and his heart soared. It was no surprise that a smile spread across his face.

“I would know you as well – if that would please you. I don’t know very much about the humans.”

He felt the smile against his bicep. “It would please me very much.”

 


	17. Chapter 17

The stack of finished supply reviews and area movements had steadily grown today, and Evfra was feeling tired but accomplished. It had been a little over a month, since his and Ryder’s conversation had started to open a new chapter in his life. He was still getting used to the emotional side of things, but his work was steady and never changing. Ryder had her own duty, too. He was actually quite happy about that. They were both busy, and he had little time to miss her amid the paperwork, and new hours that the assistant provided had quickly filled with a training regimen for both him and his soldiers. He was glad of it. Some days he had felt that the time he spent behind a desk was going to atrophy his muscles. It also helped that he could improve the physique that he so often hated. He had no high opinion of his body’s desirability, and it felt more urgent to make changes now that Ryder was in his life.

The news of their new relationship had not gotten around as quickly as he had thought. Of course, Jaal found out first. It was a small ship. Everyone knew when someone made romantic entanglements. Evfra had been nervous about that conversation, and Jaal had not been on shore leave to express it in the loud overwhelming way that Jaal does everything, but Jaal had been happy for him.

_Evfra,_

_Ryder has been asking me about the angara in much more detail lately. I had taken it for interest in me at the time, but when I insinuated that, she simply held her chin up and told me about you and her. Unfortunately, I can not help her practice Tershaav. I will admit that while a little disappointing on my end I was overjoyed. We will have to celebrate when I am next on Aya._

_Stay strong and clear._

_Jaal_

The letter was a letter after all, and Evfra had to take the words at face value. He remembered Jaal’s challenge with clarity, but he also remembered the way he and Peebee had talked on the Tempest. He assumed his friend had other options, while he could not imagine an alternative to Ryder. He also didn’t want to imagine that. The woman had pushed him out the door of the Tempest with a wink and a shove leaving him to fend for himself until she returned again. The brief contacts that they had were choppy and disconnected. Towers had not been established on Eladen yet, and her comm frequently dropped on patrol. He had been dictating his requests and thoughts to her at times in Tershaav. The familial tongues were never written. Common was the only form of written language, so she would learn from SAM’s compiled lessons chopped from his voice modules. She had responded flatly to him that when she returned from the field she would speak with him then in Tershaav. He was anxious for it, but the wait would be worth it.

He turned looking out the window towards the distant horizon. Aya was much larger than the tropical city, and he absently wondered what she may want to see first. He had grown fond of his secondary home finding the lush and bright changes almost preferable to Havarl, and with each passing day where he had gotten a taste of the future, the connection had grown in strength.

It was during one of these musings that Moshae Sjefa had come to him with a secret smile nudging at the corners of her mouth. She was the second to learn of the new development between he and Ryder and – strangely – not from Jaal. It was the abrupt end of the rumors of his and Jaal’s domestic relations that triggered the questioning. She had been pleased and had cried upon hearing Evfra confirm the truth. He was embarrassed at what he thought was an overreaction, but he held her anyway.

“I was afraid that you would always be that lonely and hard young man that came out of the jungle,” she had blubbered in his arms.

He had rested his chin on her head and stroked it fondly. It was a bit embarrassing for him, but he had found it hard to care when she welled with so much love for him. “You sound as if I’m hopeless,” he said in his customary hard voice but kissed her head once more.

She laughed and sniffed pushing away and wiping her eyes. “It has crossed my mind.”

Paraan had been informed in turn. Her reaction was brusque and filled with frost. She would lighten with time, but she saw the death of his line as something lost to the angara and was not fond of interspecies liaisons when leading to that end. If the kett had perhaps not been the way that they were, it may have been different by now, but the Havarl families were supposed to demonstrate stability. It would take time, but the Moshae was well underway to proving to Paraan that this development showed the level of success in the angaran diplomacy efforts. Paraan took her duty to her people seriously, and Evfra didn’t begrudge her these thoughts. He would happily give up his place on Havarl if ever one became available to try this with Ryder.

Paraan had also brought up other topics for him to consider – such as children, but in his typical fashion, he had balked crossing his arms and stonewalling her. It still bothered him, and he wondered if he could give her any semblance of the Milky Way normalcy. She had brought him bits and pieces of his life back, and he hoped he could do some of the same for her. To this end, he had begun to scroll through the trove of vids that Kandros had given him on his visit to the Nexus. When the militia commander had visited to inspect Aya’s dreadnaughts, Evfra had cautiously ventured the topic – asking which pieces exemplified human relationships. Kandros had openly pointed to the romance sections and less openly pointed to the pornography section with human in the tag. Evfra had ventured to both during this last month. The romances were somewhat dull and uneventful, but he could see the high points. He watched most of the pornography with a look of a deer in the headlights. Some kinks were familiar and others he thought must definitely be _Homo sapien_ specific. Eventually, he simply turned that off as he had no way of even guessing what Ryder would want and also hesitant to even think about crossing that bridge. When Kandros offered to point to some of his favorites, Evfra hastily declined.

His comm blinked at his desk and the two simple words made all the lack of missing Ryder’s voice and presence flood into him at once. As with his alarms, he had pushed all his newfound loneliness and excitement to the back of his mind until Ryder made herself available again.

_I’m here._

He grabbed his rolfjinn and rushed out the office not caring who or what his field brushed on his way. His eyes never wavered from the path ahead of him, and his brisk walk left him breathless when he stopped in front of the Tempest. Ryder was standing on the docks simultaneously directing the loading of supplies and conversing with a colonial supplies master, and all he could do was look at her. Her hair had been chopped shorter during the month, and the cool Ayan breeze was blowing it in her face as she absently tucked it behind her ear.

“No, I need three crates of ammunition – not two. I’ll pay double. No, not for all three – only the third one.”

Her brows knitted as she haggled with the angara, and Evfra thought it was perfect. He felt someone bump his shoulder good naturedly. When he looked at Jaal, the angara had a sly grin on his face, and the wrinkles around the corners of his eyes were apparent.

“Work never ceases,” Jaal said nodding toward Ryder.

Evfra simply grunted his assent not knowing how to proceed with his friend. Jaal’s field was not touching his, and the uncharacteristic onrush of warmth from him made Evfra nervous about the encounter. Jaal’s eyes were sharp and caught his hesitant glance. He uncrossed his arms and side. His field washed out and down as if a long over filled dam had broken in him.

“I was not so attached to her, Evfra,” he said and glanced at the two asari standing to the edge. Peebee was emphatically badgering the Doctor T’Perro who had set her jaw and trudged towards the town entrance trying to be as oblivious as possible to the bouncing woman beside her. They were certainly polar opposites. He turned back to him after a moment.

“I am happy to see you happy. Truly.”

The warmth of Jaal’s field surrounded him and made his armor weaken and melt with relief. “It is… different,” Evfra replied without looking at Jaal and hoping to hide the coloring in his cheeks.

“Everything is different,” Jaal snorted. “The Milky Way was apparently a very troubled place at the time they left. I have been spending much time at the cultural center.” He clenched his teeth. “They narrowly avoided a war. Apparently. Only to find another.”

Evfra’s eyes widened. He had not once thought of why they may have left – only that they had. He had been too focused on the kett and seeing them as the enemy rather than looking for reasons they may have been the victims.

“Was it kett?” He knew it was a long shot. Different galaxies would have different species.

“Something called Reapers. The information is still sifting through. Apparently, communications would have been faster, but the relays for it had been destroyed in the aftermath. The transmissions are much slower, since they are still adapting and developing new technology to send and receive reports. The important thing is that they won. It gives me hope that we will as well.”

“I too.”

Ryder’s gaze turned to meet his own, and she smiled tucking a dark strand behind her ear. He nodded at her and couldn’t suppress the light smile that graced his face. Jaal’s hearty chuckle broke through the moment, and he clapped Evfra on the back. The gesture that would have been much too close for Evfra’s small comfort zone somehow put him at ease. He assumed that he was simply becoming sentimental in his old age.

“Perhaps your affections should be louder.”

Evfra frowned and shrugged away from Jaal’s hand. “You and the Moshae will be the death of me.”

“She would like it.” Jaal held his hand as if presenting Ryder to Evfra, and he drew his brows together to try to hide the coloring on his face.

“It is not as if she is deaf.”

Jaal shook his head. “You do not understand women, my friend. They enjoy loud noises – especially when they make them.”

Evfra was not ready for this, and Ryder had to choose that moment to approach him and stand before the pair. He squirmed, and Jaal grinned turning his attention to Ryder.

“What are you two plotting,” her question was quick and easy.

“We,” said Evfra emphatically with a hard look at Jaal, “are plotting nothing.”

Jaal laughed. “Simply weapons training this evening, Pathfinder. Evfra, I found a new upgrade on a weapon a kett soldier simply did not need anymore.”

Evfra raised an eyebrow. “I’m sure that he was devastated at parting with it.”

“Yes. He was – until I gave him something better to worry about.”

He couldn’t help it. He cracked a smile and shook his head. Whether or not Jaal had been true in his intentions toward Ryder, he was glad that his gain was not a strain on their friendship. He even dared to hope that Jaal may have been a part of the engineering of this relationship with his carefully timed shoves and pushes. If he had been aboard the Tempest, he might have had an answer to that question.

“I look forward to seeing it.”

“I’ve been getting a lot of experience,” Jaal replied winking at Ryder. “I am a superior shot now.”

Evfra crossed his arms and raised his chin. “We shall see. I have had much more free time for training with the new assistant.”

“I am looking forward to it.” Jaal clapped his hand on Evfra’s back with a grin before looking to Ryder. “I will return in time for disembarkation.”

Ryder nodded at him, and Evfra’s stomach fell. The stunned expression on his face said more than his words could have. He had wanted to see Ryder. It had been so long since their conversation on the Tempest, and the flood gates of his emotions had been released at her arrival making the month of worry and loneliness all too close.

She ran her hand through her hair. “I was going to tell you. We leave for Meridian tonight. I wanted to resupply at Aya… I wanted to see you before I went.”

His crossed arms fell at his side, and he reached for her hand and held it tender and loose. His jaw clenched and worked as he tried to shove the emotions back inside his field. He had wanted to do something special for her, but there was no time.

“I didn’t realize it would be so soon.” She had mentioned that it would happen in messages, but he had always assumed that their time would come before that. The worries intensified at the thought of Sara venturing into the unknown again. He had never been comfortable with that. To be the first on the scene meant to be prepared for anything, and he hated thinking of Sara taking that risk.

“There’s no reason to wait,” she replied without moving her gaze from their hands. “The arks are here. The colonies are established. The planets are stabilized. It’s time.”

He sighed and squeezed her hand briefly. “You have done wonders – things that I had tried and failed to accomplish in the past years. You are amazing and capable and strong, and yet I…” He licked his lips and swallowed feeling the lump in his throat. He didn’t want to tell her that he feared for her. He didn’t want to let her think that she might fail in any way, but he had a lifeline now, and he feared to let it go.

“ _I return soon_ ,” she said.

Evfra’s head jerked up in surprise. The pronunciation was clunky at best, and the conjugation was bad. The words felt hollow without the appropriate field accompaniment, but the sound was the sweetest sound he had heard since coming to Aya. His eyes felt wet, and he blinked it away.

” _You’ve been practicing_.”

She laughed a little, and her cheeks flushed. “I don’t know what you said. I haven’t gotten the vocabulary down well enough yet.”

He shook his head and wrapped her in his arms clinging and burying his nose in the soft black of her hair. “Come back safely,” he whispered into her neck. He squeezed her more gently before pushing her away a bit. She had a ship to stock, and he had to meet with Jaal. Time was not on their side, but it would be. He would not take it for granted.

“I will be waiting.”

She nodded and grinned the uncertain grin of a soldier. “ _Stay strong and clear._ ”

 


	18. Chapter 18

Evfra saw the kick coming. The angaran soldier’s powerful hock pulled toward his chest in readiness, and Evfra watched the muscles shift and flex in preparation. The taste of sweat filled his mouth as he licked his lips, clenched his jaw, and rolled underneath his opponent’s kick. When he came up into a crouch, the soldier landed and spun mirroring Evfra’s own stance.

“What are you doing,” yelled the battlemaster from the side of the arena. “Attack!”

Evfra drew his brows together and ran headlong at the soldier who put his hands up in defense. Evfra dropped into a slide nearly ten feet from the man and grabbed his ankle using it to slow him and turn his body effectively knocking the angara off balance and onto his face. Before the opportunity slipped past him, he straddled the man and held a dagger to the side of his neck.

The master clapped once signaling the release of weapons and the match’s end. Evfra stood and extended a hand to the fallen soldier. The soldier grasped Evfra’s forearm and pulled himself to his feet with a groan. They were both sore and soaked after the match, and Evfra hoped that this would at least force him to sleep this evening.

“Tershaav,” the old master said shaking his head, “your opponent is not going to let you stand around while he gets into a position for you to kill him more easily. Strike when the opening presents itself.”

Evfra nodded taking the offered towel from the man’s hands. The battlemasters were an acquisition after Havarl’s sages were placated with the planet’s restoration. The branch had previously deemed Havarl more pertinent to the war effort than the other planets, but with the balance being restored to Havarl’s ecosystem, the sect had relented and sent several masters to each planet to train recruits at main bases. Evfra’s knowledge was extensive, but the old man that could barely lift a sword had a lifetime of training and battle readiness that he simply could not imagine at this point. He was an invaluable asset to the Resistance.

The old man had handed the soldier a towel as well and was berating him for his missteps in the duel as well. Despite the harsh words, the old man’s field was flecked with the warmth of a father. Criticism was easy to take when you knew the lack of it may kill you. It was even easier to stomach when the one giving it showed the care that the old man did.

Evfra walked into the showers that were offset to the side of the training arena and laid the towel on a bench outside the communal shower. He stripped off the sticky weighted training gear feeling the damp cloth stick to his skin. The smell was what bothered him the most. The sour scent of sweat came out his boots and filled his nostrils. He knew if he didn’t change it would rapidly change to the scent of mildew. He touched the shower pad and moved the dial to the red end letting the heat soothe his aching muscles. His free time consisted of worrying over Ryder and Jaal, so he had decided to fill it with as much training as possible. While his body complained, his reflexes had begun to hone, and he had more muscle on his small frame. The lines of his collar had become more defined – quite handsomely he thought, and his thighs and calves showed the faint indentation of a muscular line. He was not certain what human women preferred, but to an angara, his physique had improved. Of course, the training wasn’t for such vain reasons. It was merely a benefit. He knew that a conflagration was approaching, and he wanted to make it out of it in one pieces – in two pieces, actually. He had someone to protect now.

He rubbed the soap over himself, rinsed, and dried tossing his dirty training armor in the wash bin and reaching in his locker to find the clothes that he wore earlier. He pulled on a black shirt, standard issue leggings, and boots. He sat on the bench a moment before reaching inside to finger the new rolfjinn in his locker. It was made by his mother – Joevett. She had become quite the domestic at Rvik’s compound apparently. She had resumed her role as storyteller. She had not said as much, but she had always hand sewn garments for the children while telling them fantastic tales of their ancestors and the glory of the Havala. The embroidered tags at the rolfjinn’s edges attested to this. He pulled it to his face looking at the crest of the Tershaav family in the middle.

Like all peoples, the angara had fought well enough amongst themselves before the arrival of the kett. Havala, Voeldar, Ayanna, and Eladeena had not simply coexisted peacefully. They had only united when the threat of the kett had encompassed them as a species rather than a nation. The angara had to accept that prolonged war had never benefited any nation, and it was worse when there were two simultaneous wars. The most powerful families of Havarl had naturally fallen to positions of power rather than the younger nations, and the governments had not entirely been forgotten yet. It was becoming farther and farther from the common citizen’s mind however due to the influx of the Milky Way aliens. It was harder to see differences in one’s own species when a galaxy’s worth of life forms was outside one’s door. Yet the crest still had meaning to him. It reminded him of days before the war had invaded his life, and it was relatively peaceful.

He pulled the rolfjinn over his head and stood. His comm buzzed and blinked as he picked it up. He pressed the talk option on it.

“General Tershaav.” It was Pasha – the secretary found courtesy of the Moshae. “You have a call on vidcom.”

His breath caught in his throat a moment before he replied, “I’m coming.”

He rushed to the office and punched the button on the vidcom without bothering to look in his mirror. He hoped that the news from Meridian was good. He hoped Ryder was well. But it wasn’t Ryder’s face that appeared. It was Jaal’s, and he looked troubled. Fear spiked through Evfra’s heart.

“Sara… Is she -“ He couldn’t finish the sentence.

Jaal shook his head and smiled a little. “No, of course not. I wouldn’t let your future wife get hurt on a mission.”

Evfra let out his breath and shook his head choosing to ignore Jaal’s word choice. “How did it go?”

Jaal relayed the details of the mission starting with falling from the Tempest and the kett waiting for them. When it came time to speak of the first tower, he hesitated and shifted on his feet. His hands clasped and unclasped. When Jaal was ready, he looked up at Evfra with soulful eyes.

“We’re not real. All the stories the sages tell of how we were born and reincarnate… All of it. It’s not real, because we are not real. The Remnant – they made us as we are. We found angara in pods – like the kett and exaltation, but they were not living and had never been. SAM said that they were… templates.”

Evfra thought the story would eventually make sense, but each revelation in Jaal’s uncharacteristically soft voice was more shocking than the last. He had never been very religious. The time for that had passed when his family had died. People saying that he should watch for their reincarnations had nearly driven him mad. Bit tongues were common in those days. For that reason, he had not been so surprised to hear the sages were spouting nonsense. But the angara being created by the Remnant was a stretch that he had not thought to reach. He would have accepted without question that they had evolved to their present state, but to be created by a god that is merely an ancient life form was different. The angara had no grounding route in the evolutionary tree. Scientists were going to have a field day with this news. Where was their place in the world? Were the worlds, vaults, rylkor, and fiends all products of the same fate? Did the Remnant play creator to the extent of whole planets or were the angara special – the only engineered creatures? Did they intend for the angara to become sentient? The questions that the revelation brought up were infinite, and Evfra knew that like the questions he had faced in his youth were without definite answers.

He blinked and focused his eyes on Jaal. This would be more of a shock to his friend. Jaal had always half-believed the sages and the romanticism of seeing his family reincarnate. He had taken comfort in religion rather than pushing it away to numb the pain like Evfra. He could only imagine the turmoil that Jaal’s field was producing at a moment like this. He knew that his friend couldn’t feel it, but he sent his field out anyway to envelope the hologram – to say that he was not alone. He licked his lips thinking back to his youth and gathered his thoughts.

“What will you do about it,” he asked in a measured voice.

Jaal put his hands on the desk and let out a great sigh. “What can I do about it, Evfra? It is done. We are here – angara or template.”

Evfra waited to let Jaal run through his own thoughts. He didn’t want to push his cynicism onto his friend. He understood if Jaal wished to still believe the teachings despite Evfra’s long held conviction that they were utter rubbish, but he did not want Jaal to change himself due to Evfra’s opinions only to regret the change at a later date. He wanted it to be Jaal’s choice.

Jaal looked up making eye contact with him. “I am simply a creation – not my own.”

“That is not true,” Evfra barked and crossed his arms. “You are Jaal Ama Darav – a man that I am proud to call my friend. You were not created to be that way. You have chosen your path when others may have been more rewarding or even easier. Besides if you want to believe the angara are programed to become a certain way, we are long past that. We can not even remember the face of the Remnant – let alone adhere to some absurd genetic guidelines.”

Jaal’s smile cracked a little, and a fond look came into his eyes. “You are stubborn as ever, Evfra.”

“I’m not going to let some bastard from thousands of years ago tell me how to live my life nor call him ‘god’.”

“I suppose you are correct. No god would purposefully make somebody as cantankerous as you when they could have a far more lovable population like me.”

Evfra frowned, but it was obviously forced. Jaal laughed, and Evfra smiled.

“Do what is in your heart, Jaal Ama Darav.”

“I will remember this the next time you tell me to stop being too damned trusting.”

“Don’t,” sighed Evfra rubbing his brow. “Did you get Meridian?”

The conversation quickly turned into a mission debriefing. Jaal relayed the details with a much lighter air about him. The tone only turned serious when he mentioned the Meridian engine. Evfra had hoped that they would have found Meridian, but there was to be another step in the journey. It made him feel foolish for thinking that Sara and he would have some time without the backdrop of the war for a bit – not that he would let that stop him from making plans. They would just have to be scaled much smaller. He also felt foolish for fearing for Sara’s life when Jaal made mention of turning the Remnant ship into a battleship. It was marvelous, and Evfra once again wished that he had been with the woman to see it. He could think of nothing better to do than to hold Sara against him as they watched the kett destroyers turning into fireworks.

“Evfra.” Jaal’s voice turned him back to reality. His friend’s gaze was fixed on him and shone with a love that Evfra had always found uncomfortable and a little embarrassing. The feeling was mutual, but he always enjoyed it more when it was nearby but not seen nor heard.

“Thank you.”

Evfra crossed his arms and looked squarely at Jaal. “It was the least I could do. A troop’s morale is a general’s responsibility.”

Jaal laughed softly, “I am proud to call you my friend as well, Evfra.”

Evfra shifted his weight to his right foot then his left. It made him happy to hear it, but the happiness was too visible – too uncomfortable, so he simply nodded his assent.

“Stay strong and clear, my friend.”

“Yes. Stay strong and clear – my friend.”

Evfra looked up at his mirror to see his colored cheeks and shook his head trying to clear it. He had been blessed many times over by Jaal’s friendship, but he had never openly said it. It made the threat of losing it too close to home. To admit one’s attachment made it seem all too easy to lose the one that you were attached to, so Evfra had always stayed silent. He now had attached himself to more people than he had ever in his adult life, and it was making him nervous. His field flowed arrhythmically around him making it impossible to pin to his form or control, and he knew what came next – a press conference with Paraan and Moshae Sjefa.

He keyed in a note to each in his comm asking them to meet in his office at once. He would once again brief his soldiers first and the common citizens afterwards. He didn’t know if the sages would appreciate this. If he knew religion, they would find some way to turn it so that everything still made sense. It would simply take time. Scientists would more than likely clamor to put in leave requests to be stationed on the ship which meant more paperwork and more stern refusals. He hoped this assistant would be just as capable of saying ‘no’ as filing reports and filling out supply requests.

He opened his comm once again, and his fingers froze above the keys. He wanted to see Sara, but he understood that she needed to report back to the Nexus before her visit – which was fine if irritating. His fingers lowered pressing each letter deliberately and slowly.

_Sara_

He erased, wrote ‘Ryder’, and erased again. Her name was better.

_Sara,_

_It brings me great relief to hear that you are safe. There is another battle ahead, and while I understand there is not much time left beforehand, I would like to meet with you on Aya. If this is agreeable, send me the date and time of your arrival._

He drummed his fingers on the table and leaned on his elbow as he tried to think of how to sign a letter. He didn’t know if he should pick a human ending – which he wasn’t even certain of what that was – or stick with their usual angaran tradition. His mind turned back to his conversation with Jaal, and Evfra decided that if he were throwing around labels today he didn’t see why he should stop now.

_Stay strong and clear, my love._


	19. Chapter 19

It was not a good day. Early that morning he had received word that a raid on a kett base on Voeld had gone badly. He had sent a guerilla force of twenty men aiming to infiltrate and take down the base with stealth rather than superior numbers. The base had been implicated in harvesting angara from a disappeared town in the region for exaltation. He had no illusions of saving the townspeople, but he did want to prevent it from happening again. Unfortunately, it was a bad call. His conscience kept nagging at him that he should have sent more forces, yet his rational mind knew that not even that would’ve been a guarantee. His men had been slaughtered. The troops had been expected back two days ago, and a flyby today had confirmed the carnage. The snows had become more infrequent, since the vault had been activated, so the bodies had been left lined neatly outside the base as a message and a warning. And now he had to address his troops about the findings of Meridian with this news circulating under the currents. The whispers in the halls as he had walked through this morning haunted him. The base still needed to be destroyed, and his men were going to view it as a suicide mission now. Because he had made a bad call.

His head was in his hands as he stared at the datapad in front of him. The photos of the bodies were grainy, but the message and implications was clear enough. He had been here before. When he had orchestrated his first mission, it had went wrong as well, and each failure held the years of accumulating guilt with it.

He swiveled his chair to stare at the street below him. The market was buzzing today. People had come into town to hear the council’s announcement. He assumed with the news making the rounds they would expect an effigy for the fallen in Voeld. It would be broadcasted live, and he needed to reform his guilt into anger before that happened. Nobody followed a disheartened guilty general, but they followed rage and strength. He would muster those before the conference. It had been decided that the Moshae would speak yet again as the genetic templates fell more in her area of society, but he had a job beforehand.

He pressed the comm and promptly heard Pasha’s polite inquiry.

“Can I help you, sir?”

“Put out a call to all Resistance personnel to gather in the ground floor chamber of the training hall. Now.”

“Yes, sir.”

It was barely a moment before he heard Pasha’s measured tone come over the building wide speakers. She sounded steady and professional during the announcement even if her tone lent itself to a more calming effect than Evfra would have wished. He wiped his face with a hand and glanced out the window one last time. There was an angaran child with one of its mothers sitting on the fountain’s edge – a rare sight. In a war, children are both a curse and a blessing. To raise a child only to know that it would be conscripted and possibly die is a terrifying sacrifice – one that Evfra was grateful he had never had to face. Civilians were becoming an endangered population unto themselves. Every angara would be a trained soldier by the next generation. Perhaps a quaint Voeld town would be safe then, but it would lack the laughter and ease that kept slipping through his fingers.

He stood and straightened his clothes and rolfjinn. He had worn his mother’s again today. It was a bit of comfort that made him feel stronger somehow – more whole than he had been. He tightened his field down again and scowled. He would ensure the kett would pay for what they have made him do – for what they had forced the angara to become.

The voices in the training area died when he stepped through and arranged himself on the balcony. He squared himself, lifted his chin, and clasped his hands behind his back. His anger was what he needed now. His strength was what was required.

“Soldiers.” His voice boomed and echoed against the high ceiling. “A small covert team of operatives was sent to infiltrate and demolish a kett base on Voeld. They have paid the ultimate price in this fight for our freedom, and it will be honored. The base may stand today trying to demolish our resolve and mock the honor of our cause, but it will not remain. Every kett – every twisted body is another reason to ignite the fury of the angara and – with our allies – Andromeda as a whole. I will not rest – we will not rest until the kett scourge is broken and driven from our homes, and we are free to be a people again – the heirs of Andromeda.”

His speech was met with a cry of assent that was soon taken up by the other warriors. He released his field letting the anger and defiance in it swell and balloon to mix with his men. Their anger and bravery was more than he could hope, and he would be damned if he let them down once more. When the crowd’s noise started to dissipate. He squared his shoulders and sent a shot of electricity through his field touching his men’s and pricking each individual gaining their attention.

“There is one more matter to discuss. The Remnant ship was infiltrated by the Initiative and its Pathfinder successfully with the help of one of our own – Jaal Ama Darav.” A hiss of excitement went through the group at the news. The sages had foretold of a new land among the stars, and speculation had quickly spun the stories together.

“Meridian – while not found - is within our grasp. There was a discovery aboard what we now know to be a Remnant ship that is to be the announcement this afternoon. When the Moshae speaks on the matter, remember that our purpose is what determines whether or not we are angara. Being angara is about heart, strength, and character. These are traits valued by our people and chosen by our people. Do not forget that. We are fierce, strong, and clear!”

The crowd looked uncertainly at his vague statements but rallied at the final call. He let the pride show in his field. His men would need strength today for their morale. He could guide them as a whole, but it would be more difficult than turning Jaal’s soul had been. He raised his fist and roared showing his fangs and looking more like his feral ancestors and ancient warriors than any civilized being. His soldiers echoed the cry. When the sound died, he nodded sharply at the assembly.

“Dismissed.”

He took his leave. They knew the statement would be given in the main courtyard, and like he, they would go their immediately. Evfra pulled his brows together and kept his frame tight. His field sunk into him. He couldn’t let his emotions slack or change. The energy had to stay constant. He had a crowd to dance before, and it had to be perfect. Nobody could see inside him today.

The soldiers took positions along the edge. Paraan and the Moshae stood waiting for him. Paraan’s lips were pulled into a grim line, and the Moshae’s vulnerability showed in her red eyes, but her field told the story of resolve and decorum. He stopped beside Paraan without turning to look at her.

“Tell me we can do this, Evfra.”

He could hear the teeth in the voice without looking at her. “We are ourselves as we have been Paraan.”

“I heard what the kett bastards did to the warriors on Voeld,” she hissed. “Make them suffer.”

Despite everything that had passed between them, Evfra liked Paraan. She was strong beyond belief and filled with all the hard edges that make a warrior. She was a fierce mother to her Ayan capital, and she would rather die than let the war make it to her beloved city. Breeding may have little to do with shaping a leader, but it had everything to do with the honor and fortitude that this woman embodied.

“Glady,” he growled.

The Moshae motioned for him to climb the dais first. She and Paraan followed. The crowd’s murmur had grown when the soldiers had mixed back into the civilians. Everyone was asking what had been said by the general, but when his straight shoulders rose above the crowd, silence swept through the gathering. Moshae Sjefa took a deep breath and threw her field across them like a blanket – comforting and warm. She relayed the discovery in a reverent tone pausing for effect but without leaving gaps for conversation.

“We are not defined by past,” she said making eye contact with individuals in the sea. “The angara are defined by what we have done – what we have chosen to do. The future will sort in our favor, because we will it to happen. Do not lose faith.”

Unlike Evfra’s brash angered speech, hers ended fulfilling and uplifting. She was a born speaker, but civilians were different creatures than soldiers. They remained confused and muddled. A cry went up from the back. When Evfra spotted the man, he recognized him as one of Paraan’s elder brothers. He nodded at Evfra before snarling again and raising his fist. With each cry, the sound and number grew until the courtyard was encompassed with the same fervor that the headquarters had been. He glanced at Paraan who wore a fond smile as she watched her brothers.

“To Meridian,” cried a soldier. The others answered him in kind. Evfra envied them. Their brotherhood was something he could not experience, yet he was torn between that and the pride he felt at being the man to lead them – the pride and the fear of expectation.

The announcement ended after the crowd calmed. He and Paraan retired to their separate areas, while the Moshae stood in the courtyard counseling and speaking with any civilian who requested her presence. He was only glad that was not his job. He was spent from the charade of the strong general. It was like his alarms and compartments for life. The energy for that role had faded leaving a tired man behind. He knew there was much to do, and the failure of Voeld hung in his mind like a dark cloud. How could he guide his people to Meridian or – more importantly – the end of the war when he failed so often?

If the vidcom had not rang at that moment, he knew his mind would’ve gone places that he would rather it not have gone. As it was, he pressed the comm button and saw Ryder appear before him. Her smile sagged when she saw the state he was in. He had wanted their next meeting to be more congenial, but his plans were falling all around him at the moment.

“Evfra, what happened?”

The concern in her voice made him want to say – to tell her all, but after the day’s activities, he balked. He felt the nagging in the back of his mind saying that he was distracted right now. There were other things he should be doing rather than talking to a woman about nothings. Talking would not turn back the clock and save his team. So he snapped at her.

“I am fine.”

She crossed her arms frowning. “What happened?”

Her icy voice pulled his eyes to her, and he sighed. She was persistent, but he didn’t want the day to intrude – didn’t want the unpleasant thoughts to spoil his time with her.

“I do not wish to speak of it.”

Maybe it was the way his eyes reddened. Perhaps it was the sag in his shoulders that his normally excellent posture prevented, but she relented dropping her arms and letting a soft concern creep into her words.

“I met with the council and the Pathfinders. Debriefed them. Tann – of course – was an asshole. Suvi has developed a way to track Meridian. We’re placing probes on the way to Aya. I’ll have the data to take the final step soon. It’s exciting – and terrifying.” She rubbed her brow in consternation.

“You’ll succeed.”

She smiled up at him somehow reaching her eyes without showing her teeth. “Thanks. It means a lot to hear that from you – specifically you. If the great Evfra de Tershaav believes in me, I doubt the Initiative’s hopes are as unfounded as they seem.”

He didn’t answer. He only stared at his feet with his lips set in a grim line. She had hopes too high for him to achieve, yet he needed to achieve them anyway. Sometimes it seemed the nation and peoples as a whole believed in him much more than they should’ve.

“Tough day,” she asked. “Next time will be different.”

He snorted. “It has to be. I can not let another patrol die. I can not have more deaths on my conscience.”

“It will be different,” she soothed. He looked up at her and searched the clear blue eyes that he had come to understand so much. “We go to Meridian together.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Togther?”

“Yes,” she answered, hesitated, and whispered looking up at him through her lashes. “…my love.”

His field ran with tingles. The sheer thought of togetherness made him wish for it all the more. He wished to fight by her side. He wished to protect her. He wished to create a world where neither of those two realities would exist anymore. He wished that he could be distracted by her for all the days to come without worry and weight of the job set before him. The look of surprise on his face quickly turned soft and gentle as his silence increased the coloring of her cheeks and the shifting of her feet.

“ _Where would I go if not with you?_ ” He knew she didn’t understand his words, but he hoped she understood enough.

She tucked a strand of hair nervously behind her ear and licked her lips. “I’m looking forward to seeing you. On Aya. It would be nice – to have a day before we are Pathfinder and General again.”

He weighed it in his mind. “There will be silence two days from now. The men and the units will have finished preparing. There will be patrols but no attacks to be monitored. On that day, I will simply be Evfra.”

She snorted a laugh. “Even simply Evfra carries a weight with it on Aya.”

“If you would prefer, I could be General Tershaav.”

She did laugh that time – high and sweet. “While General Tershaav is a fine man, he’s a bit of an ass. I would prefer to spend my free time with Evfra.”

“And I with Sara.”

She looked at him with a small fond smile. “ _My love._ ”

He nodded at her. ” _My love._ ”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's late, but I've rewritten and edited as best I could. I hope it comes through:)

Evfra had not slept well that night. He had slept deeply but had dreams of waking only to miss the Tempest coming into port. It was a silly fantasy. If he did not see the Tempest, someone would tell him of its arrival, but he dreamed it all the same. The very thought of staring out his window forlornly with Sara having come and gone without a word made him feel like a simpering child, but there was something that made him wake in the night to look out the window.

The cool breeze and the sound of the night creatures chittering and scuffling in the quiet streets seemed surreal to him. The black sky was filled with stars that twinkled before hiding behind the skirts of the dark night clouds once more. The houseplant on his sill was damp where he had forgotten to close the window, and its yellow blooms were tucked safely asleep for the evening. He leaned against the sill and breathed in the night air feeling the quiver of anticipation dance through his field. He glanced at the houseplant and pulled it inside shutting the glass but leaving the curtains parted.

In the last few days, he had been browsing through the Nexus vid collection again trying to attain an idea of what a human relationship would be like – should be like. Sara had given him more than he felt he could provide as far as the comforts of home. He hoped to give her the same. Perhaps some Milky Way traditions could bleed into the Andromedan lifestyle. He was willing to try for her sake. Unfortunately, the only thing he had felt apt enough to give her was the glass of beautiful Ayan weeds adorning his coffee table at the moment. The angara had never had a tradition of giving or planting flowers – even less so now with the rapt attention on the war, but he had noticed the bright orange stalks on his walks to and from the Resistance headquarters. His bouquet was uniform and orderly, but he hoped that Ryder would like it.

He sat a carafe of coffee on the stove and went back to his shower to ready himself for the day. If anyone had asked him – of course, they would not, he wouldn’t have admitted to spending more time on his grooming than usual. He brushed his teeth twice – before and after coffee – and scrubbed until his skin began to turn a harsh purple. When he returned to the stove, the normally happily bubbling carafe was steaming from neglect. He poured the carafe in a mug and picked an upwa flavored ration bar from the cabinet. He had grown a newfound fondness for the taste since visiting Rvik’s orchard. Perhaps the upwa had reminded him of his home too much in the past, but he would never admit the change had anything to do with that subject.

He turned to see the first rays of sunlight streaming through his window. The day was promising despite all the ruckus the meteorologists had promised, and the hope made his wish it to stay that way. The yellow buds had unfurled at the dawn and bobbed in the breeze. Evfra picked up his watering bottle and walked to the sill, but his hand stopped when he reached to spray the flower. He would never admit that Jaal’s forced gift much like his forced care was dear to him, but the fact remained. He looked back to the unbroken orange of the weeds and – before he thought further – snapped the yellow bloom off at the base of the stalk. He tucked it into the side of the orange with greater care than he had gathered any of the other homogenous flowers. When he stepped back to admire it, a smile nearly crept to his lips already anticipating it blooming again within the next five years and presenting it once more to Ryder. If nothing else, he was a man of tradition, and he had already wished to adopt some of hers as well as to give his own. This seemed as good a place to start as any.

He swung the rolfjinn on his shoulders and picked up his mug and ration bar without looking back but harboring that small comfort within him. The office was a brisk walk in the chilly morning air. The bare bones of patrols and merchants setting out their wares were the only souls awake at the moment. Soldiers before a battle are lighthearted and will spend their money. The merchants wanted to be certain to catch it. The few soldiers that were selected for patrol looked on the opening festivities with the grogginess of a late night. Evfra would be a fool to think some hadn’t celebrated previously. One such recruit was sitting on the Resistance steps holding his head in his hand and groaning. Evfra stopped in front of him and glared. When the boy looked up, his red eyes widened, and he bolted to his feet much too quickly for his body to handle.

“Soldier,” growled Evfra, “was your duty a surprise to you this morning?”

“No, general!”

Evfra noticed the recruit wince at his loud voice, so Evfra was especially careful to make it louder. “Name and rank.”

“Private Leneer, Sir!”

Evfra let the boy fidget for a moment before growling, “Report to the disciplinary officer, private. Aya will not stand unguarded. Judging by your state, your unit will be able to do the job of one man.”

“Yes, sir.”

To Evfra’s surprise, the boy’s face showed no ounce of fear. His lips were pressed tight in a line of shame. His recruits may have made a mistake, but he was proud of this one for shouldering the blame. His commanding officer had trained him well.

“Carry on.”

“Yes, sir!”

Evfra heard the sigh of relief that turned into a groan near the end, but he did not turn to look. He strode purposefully into the headquarters. At his desk, he quickly sent out a notification to the disciplinary officer that guards were not to be incapacitated in any way for duty and passed on the message about Private Leneer. He drummed his fingers on the table and – as an afterthought – asked to be notified on the private’s conduct.

He opened the supply requests page that Pasha had left for him. It was approval for the dreadnaughts leaving in the morning. The ship had been loaded yesterday, but the quartermaster had said some items were missing or insufficient. Evfra had appointed the quartermaster himself and trusted the man to do more than his fair share of work. He approved the ammunition, uniform, and medical supplies request. He also tasked the quartermaster with finding where those particular boxes had vanished to. Piracy was still on Aya although much stealthier. Some crimes must be punished harshly, and pirates did not have a Moshae to bestow upon them her good graces. That was Evfra’s realm.

He gritted his teeth. It was always something. He had hoped that the day would be empty, but as always the war didn’t care if he was busy or not. He was only grateful that Pasha had come in as well to take some of the load herself. She was tenacious if nothing else. The Moshae had chosen well.

Admiral Heckt had sent in a request for transport of the soldiers’ bodies that did not have family homes on Voeld: two on Havarl and one on Aya. Evfra pushed the comm button summoning Pasha. He handed her the approved forms. She flipped through a screen and handed the datapad back. He looked at the screen seeing that she had attached a veterans’ rolfjinn to the invoice.

“A token,” she shrugged. “With your approval, of course. It would give the families something to remember them by without compromising too much on supplies. At first, I thought of their weapons, but the inventory is too low to send those back. I can take it off if you wish.”

Evfra’s mouth pulled into a somber line, and he felt her fidget beside him. “Do we have the materials to accommodate this?”

“Yes, sir. The restoration of Havarl has allowed for a surplus in clothing materials to be manufactured. We were performing adequately under the weather restrictions, and production has tripled with the vault restoration.”

After a brief time, he signed his name to the order and handed the datapad back to her focusing his attention on the strategy suggestions from his Commanders. “And, Pasha, good work.”

He said it gruffly and refused to make eye contact maintaining a superior air, but he meant it. He liked the idea that his fallen could leave a memory behind. It was something extravagant in their frugal society, and like all good things seemed these days, it was due to Ryder being the unstoppable force that she was. In some ways, he felt he was falling behind. Of course, if ever asked, he would say she was simply catching up.

He finished early and met the quartermaster and the squad leaders to do another check on the dreadnaughts. It made him feel at ease to be at the docks where he could physically see the Tempest dock, and he did. He was standing on the forecastle surveying the deck and directing the gunnery squad leaders to their stations. It was the last task, and they wanted to visit their friends and family as much as he wanted off the damned ship. His temper shortened with each moment that the Tempest sat at the dock. His usual expectation of being obeyed the first time was bordering on preemptive telepathy by the end of the assignments. They were all grateful to end it.

He strode down to the dock to see Ryder talking with a merchant to the dock starboard the Tempest. She sighed and nodded at him unenthusiastically. Her day off seemed to be going as splendidly as his own, but then she saw him and smiled brilliantly.

“Evfra,” she said, and it was the most enthusiastic and shining thing he had heard. “ _It is so good to see you._ I have wonderful news!”

Whatever had hardened him during his day melted at hearing her speak his tongue. She was still shaky but improving. It would never be the same as hearing his family speak without the ebb and flow of the field, but he found that somehow more pleasing that he hadn’t been given a replica but a new start.

“ _It is good to see you, too, my love._ Is that your news?” He nodded to the merchant behind her now conversing with the refueling technician.

“Huh? Oh. No.” She waved dismissively at the man. “He’s colony requisitions. They need…” She looked back down at the datapad. “…quilloa seeds? It’s a job, I guess.” She winked at him, and he folded his arms in apparent disapproval.

“Then what is this news,” he asked indulgently as his field reached out and felt her enjoying the familiarity.

She took his hands and held them tight. “Scott is awake. My brother is back. He’s still in recovery – nothing serious. But he’s here in Andromeda all the way now!”

“Sara,” he began a somber tone in his voice.

“Oh, god,” she rolled her eyes. “Don’t make an angaran speech about the importance of family. It sounds so formal, and Jaal has already done it with much more pomp than you could do.”

Evfra was affronted at first, but then he thought of Jaal and his ramblings that he had been subjected to at more than one occasion. “I am glad he has saved me the trouble.”

“Now, you can stop being blue, and we can just be happy.” He had little time to think how he was meant to change his skin color before she looked at the datapad and linked arms with him. “And you can make sure that whatever the hell quilloa seeds are I find them.”

He placed a hand over her own. “I was raised on a plantation. I believe I am up to the task.”

She smiled at him and nodded. “Lead on.”

They walked through the thickening crowd tightly together – a necessity the Evfra enjoyed. The merchants in Aya were intent on hawking wares to the growing crowd. Night was starting to fall, and the soldiers were merrily dropping Ayan coin and credits alike for the duration of the evening. It was a temporary happiness for some and cherished memories for others. None knew if they would return to spend the coin again. The thought was sobering, and Evfra didn’t realize his grim expression until Ryder poked him in the ribs. Her eyes went up in surprise, and he refused to look at her feeling his cheeks coloring.

“You squeaked,” she said simply.

“I do not squeak,” he replied in a gravelly tone.

“You do,” she affirmed and reached to poke him again.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her through the crowd to the center of the market. He didn’t know which stall would sell the seeds, or he would’ve simply continued to the stall. As things were, he stood awkwardly in the center looking from stall to stall trying to not appear lost. He dropped her hand and crossed his arms.

“Which stall has your damned seeds?”

She laughed at him which didn’t boost his self esteem in the least. He followed her to another angara, nodded when Ryder showed him the seeds, and waited impatiently for her to pay. The angara kept glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, and the way her field prickled was suggestive. He didn’t want to answer it in anyway, so he tightened his field to the width of a second skin. He turned away tapping his foot impatiently and crossing his arms.

Ryder sidled up to him and leaned in pecking him on the cheek surprising him with the warmth. “Let’s go, love,” she said loudly, and he immediately felt the prying field vanish.

His defenses melted, and he smiled down at the small woman. “I will go anywhere with you.”

Ryder’s eyes widened in surprise, and her cheeks turned red. She wrapped her fingers in his and squeezed not meeting his gaze. Her grip reminded him of a small child taking possession, and he felt a tenderness well in his chest. He squeezed back and pulled her to the docks taking his time. He was enjoying the feel of her hand in his and letting his field run over her claiming her as his own in the busy streets. He leaned against the rail as she gave the seeds to Merixus, the merchant.

Their task had distracted him from his intended goal, and as he watched Ryder pass the seeds, he began to jitter with an uncharacteristic nervousness. The cold bars bit into his arms as the wind blew through the open docks bringing the cool night air with it. He was rolling the words around in his mouth trying to convince his tongue to form them when Ryder took a place beside him and leaned her shoulder into his own. The heat of her body only served to make him tense. His field began to hum.

“I can’t wait for you to meet Scott,” she offered. “I hope you two get along.”

He made a noncommittal sound. He would – of course – meet her brother and try to be more sociable and relatable than his usual self, but that was in the future, and he was having a difficult time focusing on that. He wanted to live in the night like his soldiers right now. Ryder turned and leaned over the rail so her face was turned to him. Her brows were scrunched together in concern, and she reached to trail a hand down the scar on his cheek. At the sudden touch, his hum turned dangerous. She flinched, and he felt immediately mortified. He caught her hand and inspected it with his brows knitted in concern.

“Are you hurt?”

She shook her head and her hand trying to remove the pins and needles. “That’s the second time you’ve done that,” she said with more annoyance in her voice than pain.

He closed his eyes and breathed trying to calm the hum around him. “I apologize. I didn’t wish to hurt you.”

“Do you not want to meet Scott?”

“No. That is not it at all. I would like to meet your family as you have met my own.” He licked his lips and rubbed his hands together. “What did you want to do today? Are you leaving this evening?”

“No. The Tempest is docked for the night.”

“We could go to the tavetaan – if you are hungry.”

She took a deep breath. “Evfra, I really want to just relax. There’s too much to think about tomorrow, and I’m tired of it. I need a break. I want a break. Here. With you.”

He stood and held out his hand. “I will order us each a meal from the tavetaan. We can deliver it to the Tempest or my apartment. I do have a gift for you at the apartment though.”

She took his hand, and the grateful smile that crossed her face showed him her answer before she said it. “That sounds wonderful. Dinner and a gift – at your place.”

The walk to his apartment was swift, and when the doors slid open, her eyes fell upon the bouquet on the coffee table. The orange sea was a mess of closed and open. In his ignorance, he had not noticed that the flowers merely bloomed for a day. They had simply always seemed to be there. The yellow flowers were starting to close but still bright and open. Ryder walked to the table and took a deep breath. Evfra tensed for a moment. It hadn’t occurred to him that flowers had to smell sweet and look pretty. She brushed the black hair from her cheek and looked up at him with a smile.

“Are these for me?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “Yes. I am not an expert at botany. My talents lie… elsewhere. Not in the gentler arts.”

She laughed and wrapped her arms around him placing her face in the gap of his collar. He tentatively returned the hug. His fingers traced over her back before gripping her and holding her tighter. He filled his field with warmth hoping it would reach to her.

“I love them. _Thank you, Evfra._ ”

“I will do better next time,” he offered.

He felt her smile and kissed her head letting his lips feel the way the soft strands stuck to them. It was obviously going to be different being with an alien, but he was enjoying the exploration. He leaned back from her and looked at her hair in puzzlement.

“What?”

“It’s…” He brushed his hand above her head watching the strands stick to him. “…upright,” he finished in confusion.

She wiped her hair trying to fix it back into place to no avail. The black strands popped up as soon as her hand left them. She looked at him with a question in her eyes. He shook his head.

“It’s your damned field,” she said in annoyance. “I try to look pretty for once, and you put static all over me.”

He smiled and rubbed her head again. The hair that he had become so fascinated with stuck to his palm as he pulled it away. “I think you always look beautiful,” he replied simply. In truth, he was amused at her red cheeks and attempts to make herself presentable for his sake – not that he would complain either way.

She held her hair to the back of her neck and looked down with a small smile, and he knew that he had done something correctly.

“I will order the food. Please make yourself at home.”

She nodded shyly at him. He busied himself with the comm making a selection from the human menu and the angaran menu. He had asked Jaal for suggestions under the guise of imports for future angaran-human relations, but whether his friend admitted it or not, Evfra was certain he knew the real reason of his unique inquisition. When Evfra looked up from his comm, Ryder was not in either the living area or the kitchen. That left one other portion of the house. He gulped unsure if he should follow her or not. He pushed his bedroom door open and heard the shower running. He swallowed before firmly closing the door. He didn’t know that when offering hospitality to a human that had extended to the private places in one’s home. He sat on the couch flicking through the vid selection once more and turned the audio up enough to drown out the sound of running water.

“That felt wonderful.”

He jumped at the voice behind him, and the datapad clattered to the floor. She raised her eyebrows at him.

“You didn’t change,” he stated.

“I didn’t bring a change of clothes,” she replied. “I didn’t want to presume –“

“Maybe I have something.” He strode purposefully to his bedroom and began digging in his closet. He knew he was being too accommodating, but he was nervous and in territory he hadn’t traversed in a decade or more. It was when he was frowning at his few garments realizing the size was not the problem as much as the dissimilar limbs that he heard Ryder’s soft voice.

“Really, Evfra. I’m fine. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m sure I have something.” His voice told a different story.

“Evfra.” He flinched at the touch of her hand on his arm, and to his dismay, he saw her wince. “Nothing has to happen tonight. I should have asked before using your shower. I’m sorry.”

He put the clothes back and sighed trying to relax. He was more embarrassed than anything. He would be more comfortable in a war room than entertaining a lover. “I… have not done this in a long time, Sara. I can not truthfully say that you do not make me uncomfortable, but – “ He looked into the blue of her eyes. “It would be a lie to say I would prefer to be somewhere else.”

She smiled gently at him not flinching anymore at the fierceness in his voice or the grip of his field, and his heart was in his throat. He wanted to do things with her that he would never act on in another situation. He wasn’t certain what to expect or what she expected from him. The vids he had seen had not been the feeling that he wanted to convey. There was something to rushed and impersonal about them. He wanted it to be personal. He wanted it, yet he feared it as he had never feared anything in his life. It made breaking the entire thing off seem almost acceptable.

“Why don’t we eat? I noticed that you were watching a vid. We could finish it.”

He turned a darker color not wanting her to see his watch history nor his suggestions. “You can pick one.”

She raised an eyebrow and started to speak, but the ding of the doorbell sounded throughout the room. He was grateful for the escape. He paid the man at the door, and when he turned back to the living room, he saw Ryder watching the vid with a merry smile on the couch. Her feet were curled under her, and she was crooked in the corner. She smiled at him.

“I never would have thought you were a romance buff.”

He sat the food down in front of her and went to get two glasses of water and cutlery thanking the stars that she had only thought that. “I’m not. It was…”

After the beat of silence and his return, she took the glass from him and took a sip. Her lips left a smudge on the clear surface. “Was what?”

“Research,” he replied uncomfortably taking a seat in the other crook adding to the distance between them. “Humans are also not in my area of expertise.” He looked at the flowers, and she followed his gaze.

She smiled and propped the datapad against the vase. She adjusted to sit closer to him crossing her legs – a movement he found both fascinating and strange. He had never seen an angaran woman bend that way for obvious reasons. It served to remind him how strange and unnatural this arrangement could become. Her knee was carefully placed to touch his thigh, and the warmth bled through his armor. She opened her food and smiled when he handed her the cutlery. He observed for a moment before he was satisfied that he had chosen the cuisine to her liking and eating his own. When they both were finished, she was wrapped in the film, and he cleaned the meal from the coffee table. He was amused at the way her eyes followed the characters and how unknowingly she watched with her mouth slightly ajar. He had never thought to be privy to seeing the Pathfinder slack jawed. When he sat back down, she twined her arms around him oblivious to how his heart began to race and his field bloomed. He placed an arm around her shoulders and enjoyed her more than the vid. Human shoulders were much the same as angaran shoulders. He was hoping some similarities would soothe his field. Shocking her again was the last thing he wanted to do. Nothing like being scared beyond all semblance of control showed a woman that one could care for and protect her. When the credits rolled, she yawned.

“Are you tired,” he asked rushing a little too quickly to her aid.

She nodded into him with a groan and a squeeze. He ran his hand through her hair watching to see if the static would return when wet, and he could have sworn he heard her humming in appreciation. It boosted his confidence, so he continued down her back feeling the shoulder blades and spine as he gently rubbed and scratched making note of the happy sounds she made. Tentatively, he added a touch of his field letting his hands hum, and he smiled at her appreciative groan watching her close her eyes. He was grateful this field of his was good for something in their relationship.

“Do you want to stay here? I can take the couch.” He didn’t want to.

She shook her head leaning back from him. “Tomorrow is too important to not sleep in a bed.” She looked at the clock. “It’s still so early. It seems later.”

“You work hard.”

She laughed. “Not today.” She leaned against him and looked to his window where the curtains were fluttering in the moonlight. “It’s almost too perfect.”

He pulled her tight against him and wrapped his field around her. It was almost too perfect. On this night, he was finding it hard to believe that they would both be covered in blood before the end of tomorrow. He found it hard to think that there might never be a night like this again. He pulled her tighter with a low growl.

“Let’s not think about it,” she said disarming him in the moment.

He looked down at her blue eyes. She untangled herself from him and sat facing him almost formal. She ran a hand down the scar on his face once again, and he couldn’t look away. She pulled his chin to hers and lightly kissed the scar then his lips. The places her lips touched seemed to glow on him. Her eyes flickered between his own and his lips for a moment. She began to fidget growing uncomfortable. It was not what he had intended. He wanted her to feel safe – as if she could do nothing to harm his good opinion of her. He tangled his fingers in her hair which he was growing quite fond of and pulled her roughly to his lips. It was filled with the need of comfort and touch. It had been so long since he had been touched, and when her fingers gripped his thighs and her lips parted, he broke the kiss leaning his forehead in the crook of her neck and shoulder breathing heavily. She wrapped her arms around him pulling him closer into a hug. Her felt her kiss his head and lay her cheek against his scalp.

“Sara,” he said sitting back.

“Evfra,” she echoed with a hint of playfulness, “I’m going to be here again. There’s no rush.”

He took her hand, kissed it, and rubbed it against his cheek enjoying the callouses on her palm. The words were wonderful to him. To know one was not to left behind was a luxury that he had not often had. Of course, words were simply words. One of them could never return. “I am not rushed. I… want to make a memory.”

She knew the unspoken fear that he harbored, and she understood it all too well. They had been through too much already to ignore the reality. It was always lurking – tinting bright memories grey.

“Me too,” she breathed. That was all the invitation he needed.

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is an extra chapter that I posted under a different title. I wanted to keep this rating lower, and I am not exactly a smut writer, so it may be awful. But it's there.

His eyes opened on a new day. The early morning sun was barely peeking in his windows wrapping the room in an ethereal haze. He was facing the window having turned over at some point in the night. He felt Sara cuddled against his back with one of her arms draped over his abdomen. He could feel her light breaths tickle the hairs between his shoulder blades. It was comforting. He didn’t want to begin the day – only to lay here and smile at the newfound companionship. The night before made him feel a mixture of embarrassment, possessiveness, and delight. It had been every bit as awkward as he had imagined, but they had worked everything out in the end – both enjoying themselves.

And he had his memory. He hoped it was every bit as precious to her as it was to him. It would be something new to go into battle with a good memory rather than thoughts that spiked rage, but it was what he wanted. He was growing older in both years and mind – the latter occurring far more rapid than the former, and he wanted a future to achieve that was more fulfilling than annihilating his path. He told himself that he fought to free his people – which was all well and good, but he had felt that he had no personal stake in the war. He would be a relic at its conclusion with nowhere to set his feet and listlessly wander through his days. His purpose would be gone and so would his will to live. Sara had given that back to him. He had a family. He had her, and they would need him. It was much easier to fight for hope.

Her hand tugged him against her, and her nose buried her face deeper into his shoulders. He smiled and rolled over wrapping her into a hug and pulling her into his collar sending a slow hum through his field and feeling her shiver. He had learned last night what was too much and what she liked. She giggled at first, but the hum turned it into a longing growl. He kissed her hair.

“ _Good morning, love._ Did you sleep well?”

“ _With you._ ”

He smiled and pulled back to see her shining blue eyes. Little strands of hair fell over her face, and she blew at them. He smiled warmly at her and brushed them behind her ears. His fingers continued down to rest under her chin which he tilted toward his mouth. He kissed her lightly letting his touch linger and breathing in the scent of her. It had been long since his bed had smelt of sex and sweat. Both he and her were practical and had showered after their activities, but the scent remained. He didn’t mind it though. He was not even certain he would change the sheets. The reminder of her presence would be reason enough.

“Do we have to get up?”

 He sighed wishing he could remain in the moment with her, but he knew as well as she that their duty didn’t stop and wait for them. He pulled her to him and wrapped her in a hug. The day was growing longer, and the docks would be bustling to be loaded at 0800 hours. The wait in the ships would give them nearly a day to strategize and prepare:  she on the Tempest and he on the commanding dreadnaught. It would be difficult being so close yet so far apart, but they each had their place.

“I do not wish to.”

“I know what you mean,” she sighed against his chest pressing a kiss to him. “I would love to stay here and pick up where we left off.”

He purred involuntarily at the thought. He could do with her arching back and myriad of fascinating sounds. “We will be here again.” He hoped that it was true.

She sniffed, and he felt her eyelashes brush him. “We will.” The words were more of a threat than a confirmation, but he understood her sentiment exactly.

“I will make sure of it,” he replied matching her tone and squeezing her tighter.

They ate breakfast then. She told him stories of her childhood, Scott, and the wonders of the Milky Way. He had not asked another alien about where they had come from. The whole Initiative seemed too intent on forging a new life here that they rarely divulged what they had left behind. He was intrigued to learn of another city like the Nexus and the various home worlds. Some of the political divides he had seen in the Initiative leadership were clearer now than they had been. Jaal had simply sent a copy of the Cultural Exchange Center’s recordings. Evfra had never quite wanted nor thought it necessary to listen to them. That had been Paraan’s prerogative.

They each lingered in the apartment – not wanting to leave. They ate slowly and cleaned more thoroughly than usual. When Evfra took the last plate from her to put away, he turned to see Sara staring toward the docks. The breeze fluttered the curtains and her dark hair alike. The day was beautiful and blue like every day in Aya. He wondered if he could lock her away in here. Would they even notice the war with the timeless blue sky, midday rains, and mundane conversations filled with laughter and love?

He walked behind her and wrapped her in a hug. She squeezed his arm and nuzzled into the bend of his elbow before turning her gaze back to the docks.

“You can see the Tempest from here,” she observed.

He made an affirmative sound. “I have often looked for it.”

She laughed. “Did you sit in your window pining away for me, Evfra?”

“Perhaps.”

She smiled. “You seem too old for that sort of thing.”

“Watching for a woman is much different than watching for a woman I love,” he replied a little gruffly.

“Do you do that often? Watch for women?”

He snorted. “Hardly.”

“Hmmm…” She fidgeted in his arms, and he kissed her on the head feeling her take a deep breath. “If there is someone else, Evfra… I’m gone so much. I don’t want it to be true, but I want to know.”

He leaned back in hurt and shock. “Why would you think that?”

She turned to him with her hands clasped tight in front of her, but her eyes staring steadily into his. Her knuckles were white.

“Jaal said… you were promised.”

“Paraan?” Evfra rolled his eyes. “That was very long ago indeed. I assure you that none of that sentiment remains between us.”

She sighed. “Good.”

It was his turn to fidget. “Is this a…” He swallowed feeling the knot in his stomach rise to his throat. “… a confession?”

Her brows shot up, and her face suddenly turned fierce. “God, no!”

Evfra ran a hand over his scalp letting the tension seep out his field and body. He had always feared that a human could love a human better than all this interspecies nonsense. The angaran social ramifications were still not clear. The physical portions were clearer today than they were previously, and he had hoped it wouldn’t matter to her. He wanted it to work. He simply nodded at her.

“Evfra de Tershaav, _you will not rid yourself of me easily._ ”

He kissed her fingers again. “ _I desire that more than anything in the world right now._ ”

She smiled and looked again to the window. “ _We should go._ ”

He played with the crevasses between her odd digits and bit his lip. “I haven’t been frank with you.”

She turned to him, and he couldn’t meet her gaze. The woman was too precious to him, and he didn’t want to see her disdain. It would hurt. The cuts that she would inflict would be worse than any he had previously received.

“My language… You have been practicing, and I –“

She frowned at his sudden silence. “Did I say something incorrectly?”

He shook his head. “No. You are doing very well. It is different without a field, but I like it. I… appreciate your efforts, but… it is something done intimately with a person. The only other – save my mother – that knows some of Tershaav is Paraan on account of us being promised to each other, though her teaching was abruptly ended. I did not teach her more, since I no longer had an obligation nor a sentiment that would make teaching her necessary. I taught you, because… I wish for this to continue. For a long time indeed.”

He looked into her eyes at that time to see something gentle in them. It made his field warm, and his heart slow. Something about the way she looked at him reminded him of early days on Havarl and late Ayan nights filled with sweet kisses.

“When we leave here, we will once again be Pathfinder and General. I wished to tell you now, Sara.”

She kissed him quick and light and began to pick up her things. Evfra frowned at her and watched her pluck the single blooming yellow flower from the vase. She walked to the door and turned to him.

“I expect you want an answer,” she mused tapping the flower against her lips. “But I am the Pathfinder. Although Sara will find you after the battle. She will have an answer for you then.”

He smiled at her and pulled her tight to him one last time knowing that he must come back for an answer - loving her more for giving him a reason to return. “I will be waiting.”

_”Stay strong and clear.”_

He couldn’t answer her and buried his head in her shoulder feeling panic creeping into his field. He felt her squeeze him back, and when they separated, her cheeks were wet.

“You have to meet Scott.”

He nodded as he watched her swipe angrily at her cheeks, and his heart welled. His field surged around her wrapping her in all the warmth he could provide. Her smile looked forced.

“I will. We will all be together after this. You must come back and give me your answer, and I must give you my heart.”

Her smile stretched to a degree that was more genuine and sweet. She nodded, and he kissed her once more wrapping his fingers in her hair, and then she was gone. The dreadnaught seemed lonely without her, and he had to arrange his mind to strategize and fight. When he dropped his duffel in his private quarters, he took a deep breath closing his eyes. Sara holding him in bed and Sara with her mouth hanging ajar at a vid would all happen again, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to be there to witness it.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have enjoyed S&C. If you're interested in some more Evfra, I have another fic. Also possibly a Garrus that I will start tinkering with. It's been my longest fic and only my second complete one. I'm a little sad to leave Evfra behind (which is probably why I promptly started a second one), but it has been fun!

Evfra’s shuttle dropped suddenly as the gravity inverted. Meridian had a field around the planet similar to his own bioelectrics. He felt his field pulse and resonate as they fell through. It shorted the gravity, but the pilot quickly reset. He was pleased that he hadn’t had the shuttles upgraded with the Initiative gyro tech, or his soldiers wouldn’t have been strapped into their seats. This great battle would have been blown even further to hell. He had talked a good game to his troops inciting a morale boost, but he was grimly aware that the Initiative – specifically the humans – were in a very dire situation. The communication had come during the flight to Meridian. The Hyperion had been hijacked, and Sara had been frantic with worry for Scott. He could only hope her brother was of no consequence. Communications had not ended, but the primary needs of the radio transmissions were coordinating attacks and not personal familial inquiries. He had heard nothing from Sara since yesterday that could even be considered remotely personal.

The gravity was restored, and his comm crackled to life. His pilot informed him and his unit that it was time to drop. He waved an arm signaling his men before unstrapping himself from his safety harness. He felt the momentary hum of his jump jets and clicked his heels together feeling the short upright jolt. The ground leapt up at him, and he landed in a roll dashing for cover and putting his back against a boulder. His men followed suit.

There were no kett in sight yet, but he knew garden planets. Meridian seemed to resemble Aya to an astonishing degree. Of course, he had not been privy to the entire geography. The field had run the colors together as they entered making it difficult to discern what terrain they would be walking into, but he was relieved that it was something familiar. He could work with familiar much better.

“Resistance Unit 537 in place. No kett sighted. Over.”

“Unit 537 kett 500 yards ahead of you. Initiative Team Alpha in Nomad 500 yards North. Engage kett to clear field. Over.”

“Affirmative. Out.”

He checked the cartridge in his gun and flicked the safety off. His men mimicked him, and a faint round of clicks reached his ears. They were ready and trained. The same message had been passed over their own comms. They had their mission, and he was not going to let Sara face this alone. If she needed a path, he would clear it. The Initiative omni tool lit showing a dark red arrow pointing to his right. A degree azimuth and a distance were etched below it. The jungle was high, and the understory was not nearly as imposing as it might have been with civilization interfering with it. He raised a hand flicking his top two fingers. His men followed his lead through the brush with their heads low and their rifles held tightly to their chests. The terrain steepened, and while it was not a problem for their angaran joints, Evfra knew the distance listed on the omni tool was in horizontal only. Slope distance simply could not be ascertained over unmapped terrain. The run would be far more than 500 feet.

The comm chattered as they covered the distance. Captain Dun landed the Hyperion, and Kandros and surprisingly Reyes Vidal was defending it. Evfra frowned a little in displeasure. He supposed that Ryder’s temporary involvement with the man had simply added to his distaste, but he would not throw away resources. 

Evfra and his men crawled through the fallen trees at the top of the ridge. The higher elevation vegetation was scrubby and blocked his view of what was to come. He wasn’t too concerned at the sentiment when he looked down at the omni tool and it read 428 feet. The steep climb was certainly longer and more difficult, but he would appreciate a vantage point if he found it. If the jungle had been more open, perhaps his pilot would have picked a closer spot to drop, but things are never smooth on the battlefield.

“Pathfinder, he’s taken them.”

“Captain Dunn?”

Evfra’s heart stilled, and a flash of cold flooded his field.

“The core is lit up like Christmas, but SAM isn’t talking. I think the Archon – Shit! I don’t know what he did, but he has Scott. Whatever Meridian can do, he’ll try to take it.”

“Just focus on flying. I’ll find them.”

Evfra felt a white rage enter his field. It was like a cold ready fuse waiting to be lit. Sara may have sounded like the Pathfinder, but he knew what it meant to lose family, and he would not let that happen to her. His team noticed his field, and it echoed around them. They were one as they burst through the brush to the cliff’s edge. He looked up to see the kett dreadnaught before it was mentioned on the comm. The ship loomed, and a feral smile pulled back his lips baring his canines. He would make the Archon regret crossing the angara and, more importantly, regret crossing him and those that he loved.

Kandros’s voice crackled through the radio. “Men are deploying to defend the Archon. Getting in close.”

Evfra grinned. He like the man before, and now he respected him even as the other turian berated him. In the confusion, the Archon could be dealt a blow more quickly and more lethal than hanging back and allowing them to regroup after getting a feel for the planet.

To his men’s and his own credit, they had been training hard these past months. Evfra was suddenly immensely grateful to Pasha for freeing his days. He would not have been in any shape to keep up with his squad let alone lead them without the extra training. He simply did not have the stamina when stuck behind his desk at all times. Their gear had been muffled, so they heard the shouts of the kett before they arrived. A roar and a crash followed behind them, and the Nomad’s crash was reported. He heard gunfire in the same direction after a few moments. Sara was coming this way, and he’d be damned if he let her face this alone.

“Commander Heckt, going offline. Ensure units in place. Engage enemy. Out.”

“Affirmative, General. Out.”

“Over.”

He signaled to his men. They spread around the clearing silently. His two snipers setting up to take aim at the kett as they ran toward their hiding spot. With a whispered word into the link shared between his unit, the rifles pulled back felling two kett. The remainder skidded to a stop in confusion. That small moment was enough for Evfra to leap from cover and put a bullet between the eyes of two stunned kett. The other troops began to engage save for the snipers who remained back picking off the enemies when they found a clear shot.

Evfra kicked his jump jets rising over the fray and freezing in place to pick off an anointed. The element of surprise had been lost after that, but they had gained precious ground. He dropped to cover and shouted over the comm orders to take the ground ahead. The kett would follow the troops with more heavies when the dropship arrived.

“Kett dropship. Heads up,” said Sara over the comm finally seeing what Evfra’s unit had seen from the cliff.

“Your own reinforcements are on site, Pathfinder.”

Evfra added, “The Resistance is with you.”

The others sounded their allegiances, and Evfra refilled his gun with a new cartridge. He would not let this particular group of kett near Sara.

“General, there is a vault to the south. I’m sending the coordinates to your map. The kett ship is trying to head the Pathfinder off before she can reach it.”

“I’ll hold the line. Are the sages’ shuttles ready?”

“Affirmative. They are in pursuit of enemy ships converging on the navpoint.”

“This will be a victory for the Resistance,” said Evfra with conviction.

“Affirmative.”

“Out.”

Evfra watched the navpoint switch. He could see the impasse in the road. “Forward,” he yelled into the comm over the gunfire.

His men surged toward the kett. The small unit was making a mockery of the kett tactics felling them with ease. It was going smoothly now, but he could see the vault in front of him. He even caught a glance of Sara running into the door. When his men had their backs against the wall, their positions would be known. They would be targets, and things would be a lot more difficult and much grimmer. The kett they were fighting for the position were easily cleared away, and his heart throbbed from the exercise, but his field told a different story. It was laced with unease at the vulnerable position that he was fighting to occupy. He couldn’t let his men know. He needed confidence. He needed to see Sara again.

“Keep going, Pathfinder. We’ll shore up the rear.”

His voice was strong, and he heard no answer from the Pathfinder. He could only hope that the communications held within the vault. He didn’t have any time to think on it. The next shuttle was approaching, and their backs were against the wall. His unit crouched behind the cover with his snipers taking up the rear again.

“Take out the heavies first,” he relayed.

They complied. The snipers shot some jumpers from the shuttle, and the rest of his men targeted the heavies. The kett fanned around the door trying to flank them.

“Shore the sides,” he growled into the comm.

He grabbed a dagger from his belt, and when a kett heavy rounded the crate, he caught him around the neck with his bicep. The gun fired wildly for a moment until Evfra sank the dagger into the kett’s neck feeling the crack of the hardened skin give way to the squish of muscle and blood. The kett gurgled a moment before Evfra twisted the dagger ripping it away along with a section of plate. The plate took sections of the innards with it, and Evfra dropped the man wiping the blood on his trousers. He bared his teeth. A heavy surprised him coming from the other side, and he was surprised in turn as one of the soldiers put a bullet in between his eyes. Evfra didn’t glance back. Instead he let his field swell with pride. He knew the soldier could feel it as his own answered with a reverent smugness.

“Ship inbound,” crackled his comm. “Northwest. Initiative.”

Evfra looked up to see the vessel approach. Several kett ships chased the rear. They were immediately hit with a field. His own pulsed with an after effect disorienting him temporarily. The high voltage field was one of the Moshae’s students if not she herself. His men didn’t cheer as the ships crashed freeing the Initiative vessel, but the triumph was evident. As it passed over them, it dropped salarian foot soldiers.

“Cover!”

His men fired at any kett, and the reinforcements pinned the remaining kett between them. They did not last long. The salarians were not the strongest, but as they dropped, smoke deployed under the ship covering the ground. In the confusion, the kett soldiers had no chance. Evfra saw the salarian Pathfinder appear from the smoke running in his directions. He snarled and shot trying to draw attention away from the man. It worked. While Evfra caused a scene on one side of the crate, the salarian rounded the other side sliding heavily beside him.

“The Pathfinder is inside,” said Evfra popping the steaming cartridge and replacing it.

“She’s having trouble. We’re back up,” yelled the salarian above the noise. His team was completely in cover now leaving the field strewn with broken kett bodies. None were left alive.

Evfra bared his teeth at the words cracking his gun together with a sound of finality. In a perfect world, he would be at Sara’s side, but her allies were his allies. He looked at the man with drawn brows, fangs, and a smattering of blood across his scars and armor.

“Get them out alive,” he growled.

The salarian nodded then put a hand to his comm. His unit answered his command by breaking from cover toward the door. Evfra’s unit provided cover fire again as a fresh batch of kett emerged from the woods. He could only hope his unit would hold until she was safe. The battle was not long at all, but each moment was agony. Several bullets were stopped against his armor bruising his ribs. He rolled away from a knife strike and kicked his opponent’s feet out from under him quickly ending his life, but the ground underfoot quickly became mud as dirt mixed with blood. He slipped hitting his head and setting off a ringing in his ears. He was lucky it was only that. An earthquake rumbled through the ground ads if the bones of Meridian were grinding. Both sides screamed and hurried to stagger behind cover until the rumbling was replaced by silence. Evfra could hear the dust settle in the void wondering if Sara was hurt. He had no doubts that the great shiver had come from the vault, and it terrified him. As he sat at the last tier of cover with what remained of his squad – fifteen men turned to five, the kett suddenly backed down disappearing back to the woods several hanging back to cover their retreat. He pulled a sniper rifle from its case and chipped away at the fleeing enemies huffing. His chest rose and fell arrhythmically, and he tried to steady his breathing and his arm to no avail. His shots maimed but did not kill anyone.

“The Archon is dead.”

The transmission had been delivered flatly, and it took a moment for the soldiers to register it. His men blinked their wide eyes at him, and he smiled hesitantly and savagely. Their excitement took the cue from his field and roiled with exuberance. The Archon, their enemy for many decades, was defeated and dead. He was not fooled to think the war would end this abruptly, but he was happy in the same way that a hungry predator is happy to have finally chased his prey to exhaustion and finally death. He was happy that he could have peace for a while. He was happy that Sara and Scott were coming home alive.

“Shore up the door,” he called over the comm. “Don’t let anyone through. The Pathfinder is coming out.”

His men didn’t move, but the renewed energy in their step was evident. They were no longer in a position to be sticking their backs against the wall for little or no reward. They were on the offense. It was freeing. He tucked his eye behind the sniper rifle hoping a kett would come in sight. He relaxed and stood when the others started to file up the steep hill to the vault entrance. Kandros nodded at him as he approached. Reyes waved, a greeting he was not comfortable with in the least. It was near that time that the vault door opened. He spun to see Sara struggling to support her brother. Dr. T’Perro rushed forward to take him to safety, but Evfra only had eyes for the dark-haired girl standing in battered armor against the backdrop of the vault.

“The word’s out,” said Suvi breaking the silence of the gathering leaders. “Everyone’s elated, but the Nexus wants to know what’s next.” She looked around the gathering taking it in. “What do I tell them?”

Ryder met Evfra’s eyes in that moment, and he couldn’t help the smile that creeped to his lips. He knew war had brought grief, but Suvi was right. He was elated. He was elated that Sara came back to him in one piece, and they had won. It had been so long since the Resistance had won, and all his good things had been coming from Sara lately.

“Tell them…” Ryder held his gaze steady. “Tell them we’re home.”

A sigh went around the group, and Ryder made to move – to walk past him. He reached out catching her hand and entwining his fingers with hers in that way that had seemed so strange months before but now held something familiar and sweet. She squeezed his hand back, and he saw a smile brush her lips. Their hands parted with distance, and he fell into step behind her. When he looked over, the Moshae was smiling fondly at him. It made him edgy and embarrassed as usual, but it was not enough to drown out the high of victory.

“What?”

“She’s remarkable.”

He looked to Ryder’s strong back ahead of him. Her shoulders were back, and her head was raised looking like both queen and conqueror.

“Yes, she is,” he agreed. “The galaxy will forever be different.”

The Moshae laughed. “That would be you, Evfra. Changing a galaxy to change your heart. You always did make problems bigger than what they were.”

The Initiative and its allies celebrated after that. All the crew, all the arks, and all the species that had been present in the battle returned to the Hyperion and rested. Some drank away the fallen, and others celebrated the future. He did both. With each moment, he had began compiling memories of the ones that he had lost on the battlefield that day. Sara’s crew had returned alive, but his had not. Jaal slid into a stool beside him where Evfra had been nursing his beverage with care.

“Where’s Ryder,” he asked.

Jaal ordered his drink then waved a hand. “Council. There were matters of diplomacy to settle, and her brother, of course.”

“Is he well?” Evfra flashed back to Dr. T’Perro holding him up. The man had no visible injuries but had been disoriented.

“Lexi says so. I though you would be looking for her.”

Evfra shrugged. “It is her victory. She brought her crew back safely.” He didn’t say that he didn’t. That he had more deaths on his conscience, but Jaal understood. Evfra knew by the way he became silent and contemplative staring at his glass as if it held secrets.

“You can’t save everyone, Evfra,” Jaal began. “Despite what you want everyone to think, you are not a cold unfeeling asshole either.”

Evfra grunted at that and frowned his brows creasing. Jaal smiled at him briefly. The white flashed so quickly Evfra was not certain it had happened.

“She knows that war means sacrifice. Hell. She knows that a lot of other things mean sacrifice also.” They say in silence for a moment before Jaal’s soft voice broke nearly disappearing into the buzz of the other patrons. “Who… Who was it? In your squad?”

Evfra watched Jaal’s finger that had been tracing the rim of the glass still and his lips pull into a grim line. Evfra knew the question wasn’t which angara but really about his family.

“Orinna is still on Havarl rooting out the last of the Roekaar.”

Jaal sighed in relief letting the tension roll off his field like smoke. Then he grimaced. “I hate that I am relieved that others died besides my sister.”

The words were too close for Evfra. Jaal’s openness stunned him once more. It made him fidget with his glass. The amber liquid mixed with the melting ice in rivulets as he chose his words as he thought of watching Sara and Jaal walk into the vault together. “There are people that I would feel the same for. There are some that I wish war couldn’t touch.” He thought of his mother – both with his family and with Rvik – and the Moshae. “I fight for them.”

Jaal opened his mouth to speak, but Evfra didn’t want to hear it. He turned his glass up and drank letting the liquid burn down his throat and settle in his belly. He didn’t want to become more vulnerable. Drink sometimes did that to him. It made his walls melt and his humor easily coaxed, but he didn’t think that laughter would come out of him today.

“Where is she?”

Jaal smiled at him in a way that made Evfra’s skin crawl. It understood him in a way that he did not understand himself. Jaal downed his drink as well and stood brushing his hands across his thighs.

“This way.”

They passed the revelers into the hall. The noise disappeared behind the door with the quiet shushing as it closed. Very few people were there leaving enough room in the quiet for Evfra to hear their boots clicking on the floor. Jaal strode with a confidence that Evfra didn’t have in the strange environment, and he was suddenly glad that Jaal had offered to escort him. It wouldn’t do for the general to be lost and defeated in the halls of the diplomatic envoys. Jaal approached a door and pressed a button on the side.

“Yes?” The voice was familiar to him, and when he realized that it was the doctor’s, it made a shiver run through his field. The warm weight of Jaal’s hand descended on his shoulder.

“Evfra and me.”

“It’s open.”

Jaal’s hand slid from his shoulder as the door opened revealing Lexi busying herself with logs while the Ryder twins both looked up at him with wide eyes. They were red, and Sara’s lips split into a smile. The boy simply settled himself and crossed his arms. Evfra could feel his gaze sizing him up, and his frown returned. He crossed his arms nearly mirroring the man’s pose. Ryder snorted and rolled her eyes.

“Scott. Evfra,” she gestured at each in turn. “I’ve been wanting you to meet each other.”

Evfra inclined his head. Barely. He didn’t like the way the male was threatening him, and he wrapped his field around Sara. A gasp sounded on the other side of the room. He turned to see Dr. T’Perro transfixed on the Pathfinder. When all eyes were on her, she blinked looking up.

“By all means, continue.”

Jaal laughed. “Is your tech working? Did my modifications help?”

“Oh,yes! The receptors are more tuned and the data readings are more precise. I’m still working on the interface code. I should have more time now,” she replied gesturing around her as if to say the war was keeping her occupied.

“Maybe I can help with that,” offered Jaal touching her elbow.

The woman bunched then relaxed giving the Pathfinder a sheepish glance.

“Go, Lexi. I won’t let them kill each other.” Her voice held humor, love, and the infinite weariness that came from a strained mind and body. Evfra wanted to reach for her with his hands and not just his field, but he was all too aware of the man next to her. She turned and looked at him.

“I heard you met with the council,” he replied trying to put business first.

“I nominated you for ambassador between Andromeda and the Milky Way.” Evfra glared, and his arms tightened around him as if the strength in them would keep the insufferable Tann away from him at all costs. She laughed – a small laugh that ended with a loving smile. “I didn’t. If you were with Tann all the time, I don’t think that I’d ever get to see you.”

The man looked at her and back at him before sighing and standing. “Scott.” He held his hand out to Evfra. “My sister seems infatuated with you.”

“Scott,” she hissed.

He looked at the extended hand trying to remember the strange human custom. He hadn’t shaken a hand since visiting the Nexus. He wondered if this was the way that her brother was showing his acceptance of their relationship. Evfra took the man’s hand gingerly, and he felt Scott tighten his grip as hard as he could, and he saw the way Scott narrowed his eyes at him. This was not a handshake of acceptance but a challenge. Evfra’s own brow creased, and he squeezed back intending to simply return the gesture but knew he had overstepped when a bone cracked and Scott squeaked. He let go of Scott’s hand as if he had been stung. Ryder ran to her brother.

“Are you okay?” Her hands and eyes frantically felt his hand, then she glared at Evfra. He was chastised for a moment before he looked at Scott who was glaring at him. His face changed immediately when Ryder’s attention turned back to him. Evfra who had such trouble schooling his face into anything other than stern consternation was impressed – albeit grudgingly.

“Men, honestly.” Ryder scoffed the words, and to Evfra’s amusement, she squeezed Scott’s hand again eliciting a squeak. “Stop being such a baby.” She turned back to Evfra.

“I have news. Ellen Ryder – my mom. We found her cryo pod.”

Evfra’s confusion didn’t eclipse the smile on her face. “Didn’t your mother die of an illness?”

“Dad put her in cryo on the Hyperion,” said Scott flexing his hand.

Ryder took his hands wrapping her small fingers around his. “There’s a chance that we can cure her, and she can be revived. It was the last memory that my father had SAM lock.”

Evfra thought of his mother in that moment. Sara had no bad past with her mother besides petty fights. If it had made such a difference to him to have his family returned, he could only imagine what that would mean for Sara.

“I will dispatch a research team from Havarl as soon as I return.”

Sara shook her head. “You don’t have to. It’s enough that I have this chance.”

He cupped her cheek in his palm letting the calluses brush over her skin. “Sara Ryder, you gave me my family back. It is the least I can do to help you recover yours.”

He thumbed a tear from her cheek, and her hand came to cup the back of his hand pressing it further into her cheek. She closed her eyes and nodded pushing a kiss against his palm. “Thank you.”

He pulled her mouth to his and kissed her letting it linger and build before pulling away. He saw with satisfaction that her brother had looked away for the moment. He would win him over eventually, but now he simply wanted to establish that Sara was his. He pulled her into his chest feeling her head nestle in his collar and her arms clasp behind him. He wanted to tell her how worried he was for her and how he wished that he could have kept her away from the war. But he didn’t. He only held her.

“ _Thank you_ ,” she whispered again the heat of the words warming his chest. “ _If you hadn’t – if your men hadn’t been there…_ ”

He smoothed her hair loving the intimacy and privacy provided by their language. It was not the tongue of the Tershaav anymore – nor was it solely his. It was theirs, and he loved it. “ _I will always protect my family._ ”

She tightened her arms around him, and the small muffled voice was as sweet as her lips and as loving as her worn skin. ” _I love you._ ”


End file.
